 SEX… "Pin It")
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Out of all the entries in this series, I’ve been concerned about the sex aspect of the community more than anything else. It is a KNOWN fact that a little sex just isn't enough for GAY men anymore. We are drifting into anonymous encounters AND losing ourselves in various sex partners completely obliterate our identities. We are no longer ourselves AND it makes me wonder: If this is our goal, how much do we really hate ourselves? However playing my role in this game, I’ve come to realize that the body doesn’t lie, and it has much wisdom to share with us. Nonetheless, we are NOT listening…We allow the CONSTANT bombardment of hard edged muscle boy image to transform us into the SEX-CRAZED men we are today. If only we were hard-wired differently…wait we are…The part of our subconscious that makes our bodies react to SEX need NOT be THE mystery of our sexuality. So with HOMOSEXUALITY being a complex interaction of SOCIAL EDUCATION, CULTURAL INTERACTION, UNDERSTANDING OF SELF, DESIRE and FEAR, shouldn’t we SEEK to do more than just FUCK each other? When are we going to REALIZE that SEX isn’t about getting off, it’s about being man enough to make HIS pleasure your own for a lifetime. It breaks my heart to see that OUR worth is tied to the act of sex itself; and we NEED to STOP using each other like this. We MUST STOP dehumanizing each other AND STOP trying to link our souls to another through a few minutes of pleasure…How can we TRULY embrace ourselves if we ONLY know how to get another man off, but don’t know anything about him? Moreover, does it even matter? This sex thing is such a CELEBRATORY CONQUEST that INEVITABLY takes us right back to who AND what we were…A BUNCH OF GAY MEN THAT ARE LOST & ARE DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT TO FIND THEIR WAY…Why work SO hard to prove the world RIGHT? Why the obsession with slaying some ass OR bouncing on some dick @ the expense of the community? ANAL SEX ISN’T THE BE ALL & END ALL OF OUR IDENTITY…& THIS IS MY CALL FOR MY FELLOW GAY MEN TO STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER BY FUCKING EACH OTHER. IF THE WORLD IS GOING TO ACCEPT US IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM , WE NEED TO ACCEPT OURSELVES, & SEX IS NOT THE WAY…I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER IF WHEN WE BRUSH UP AGAINST EACH OTHER’S PROSTATE IF WE ARE MOANING & GROANING DUE TO PLEASURE OR INNATE SHAME? FROM THE OTHER ENTRIES IN THIS SERIES, I SEE THAT WE GOT THE BALL ROLLING. THE THINGS THAT NEEDED OUR ATTENTION ARE OUT THERE, IT IS UP TO US SEE THEM IF WE ARE EVER GOING TO BE READY TO MALE…
WOW! This series you're doing - Ready To Male - is AMAZING! It's so MEANINGFUL and timely that I want to put it on my own blog. Ha! Seriously, you should blow your own horn and post these EVERYWHERE! Gayte-keeper, I am wondering how and when did you arrive at all this sage wisdom and knowledge. I know age is but a number, but DANG! I love it, though! I love it because it's the TRUTH and you have the inner FREEDOM to SPEAK IT! And you speak it so point-blank that the message isn't gray but in black and white and BOLD! I love it so much - I'm going to LIVE IT!
ReplyDeleteGayte,
ReplyDeleteI am appreciating this series. You have touched on issues that has been on my mind for years.
I don't know if this is a five part series or if there are other segments to follow, but I'm going to be a bit of a Devil's advocate here to push the envelop. To push you further.
One question. HOW?
YOU have touched on some major issues. From the number and sentiments of the other comments your words are obviously inspirational.
So I'm here lending a voice to those individuals that are motivated, but don't know what to do.
What would you suggest if they asked;
"How to do I get Ready to Male?"
"What steps should I take in Preparation?"
"How do I reconcile those issues of Identity?"
"How can I change how I give and accept love?"
"How do I decontruct the internalized homophobia and heal from its scars?"
"How can I avoid the sex trap and move pass my sexual issues?"
COREY – I MORE THAN HAPPY THAT YOU LIKE WHAT I’VE DONE HERE WITH THIS SERIES…ABOUT PUTTING THIS EVERYWHERE I WILL THINK ABOUT IT…I CAME TO WRITE ABOUT THESE THINGS FROM BOTH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE & WATCHING OTHERS…THE HUMAN BEING ISN’T AS COMPLEX AS WE LIKE THINK THAT IT IS YOU KNOW…
ReplyDeletePHARAOH – I AM GLAD THAT YOU LIKE WHAT I’VE DONE HERE & I DECIDED TO MAKE THIS JUST A 5 PART SERIES…DIDN’T WANT TO INAUDATE YOU GUYS WITH TOO MUCH ON THIS SUBJECT…BUT BELIEVE YOU ME THERE IS MORE I SUPPOSE I’LL BLOG THEM SOONER RATHER THAN LATER…I THINK BEFORE I DO THAT I’LL MORE THAN LIKELY ADDRESS THE QUESTIONS YOU PUT FORWARD…IT WAS ONLY MY INTENTION TO GET THE CONVO GOING AND LEAVING THE REST UP TO US AS A COMMUNITY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS…SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT…
ReplyDeleteWow and it was just getting good! I look forward to hearing more.
ReplyDeleteKEITH JONES - WHAT ELSE WHERE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TOO?
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that we have to stop associating who we are with sex & this is problematic for some who believe that you can't be gay without sex.
ReplyDeleteThen we have to stop seeing each as an endless buffet and more like a rare delicacy... maybe?
Hopefully that will help - but I'm sure the constant barrage of men gets old eventually. If it doesn't then... sucks to be you
This is a great post.
ReplyDeleteSo I have been pseudo-dating this guy and he sounded down 'cause you know how winter effects people.
To my suprise he says he is lacking sun and sex.
Funny I have not allowed our situation to get that far. We have had intense intimate encouners and have climaxed without getting all penetratory (lol). Kinda put me off because as black gay men do we really desire love and affection or just F$%#ing. His comment almost omitted me- sun and sex? He could get sex from anywhere (maybe that was his point) but cannot get the type of affection I am giving. Maybe that was his point.
Almost as if black gay brothas relations mean nothing unless you are sexing.
sigh
®‡ø - IT GETS OLD, BUT THE SAD THING FOR MOST OF US IS THAT THIS IS ALL WE HAVE...
ReplyDeleteLANGSTON BALDWIN - THIS SIMPLY MEANS THAT IF YOU CAN'T CAPTURE THE HEART OF MAN & WELL AS HIS ESSENCE THEN YOU NEED TO LET HIM GO...
ReplyDeleteYou just keep on bring that fire everytime ur fingers touch the keys. Love every word. and agree 100%
ReplyDeleteTRU3LOGIC - SO THE FIRE I BRING DOESN'T UPSET YOU?
ReplyDelete