¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Monday, 30 July 2012


This week presented more of Russell's insidious infiltration of The Authority. What does he want? Still unclear. Whether it's pure anarchy or -- more likely -- something much more coldly calculated, his appetite for blood, lust, and all things whimsically perverse is being fed aplenty. Truly, he's about the only one who's satisfied this week as nearly everyone else betrays his or her own weakness in the face of outside attackers.

Picking up where we left off, Jason left Chez Compton when he saw the bursts of light coming from Stackhouse Shack. He found Sookie trying to sparkle-finger the fairy right out of herself. Jason gave her a wonderfully charming big brother pep talk, telling her not to waste her fairy powers because they were a legacy from their parents -- not a curse (or, as Sookie has unfortunately discovered, a way to find out which local pervs want to suck your toes). The Stackhouse sibs sought expertise from the burlesque fairies, who reluctantly obliged after Sookie started screaming about vampires in the middle of their club.

They all headed to the Bridges of Bon Temps County, where the fairies told her some mumbo jumbo about time being frozen and energy waves and Albert Einstein (he was a halfling, too!). Long story short, they  joined hands in a circle, and Sookie channeled all their energy to tap into her mother's memories of the night Ma & Pa Stackhouse were murdered. The experiment went awry when Sookie made a psychic connection with the very vampire that killed her parents. We didn't see his full face, but whose name we learned is Warlow. (Claudine was there, too.) A sign of absolutely nothing good to come, Warlow appeared to Sookie at episode's end and garble-threatened her: "I'm coming  for you. You. Are. Mine."

Back in NOLA, The Authoritarians returned home from their wedding party massacre. Eric was in full-on V hangover, even as the other Authority folks continued to revel in their blood-drunk state. Bill soon came out of his V-lirium and faced a moral dilemma as Salome presented him a nubile young girl for the drinking. Cue a flashback to Baton Rouge, 1910, when Bill had the chance to make a vampire of his dying daughter Sarah. Instead, he told her, "Immortality is a curse" and let her rot. Back in the present day, he sucked the (im)mortality right out of Salome's offering.

Meanwhile, Eric pleaded to Nora by telling her he'd seen Godric at the rehearsal dinner bloodbath. Nora's reaction was basically the exact opposite of what Eric wanted. She told him his maker was a perversion and a blasphemer, then summed her point up with a curt, "Fuck Godric." Eric had the chance to end her, but he didn't. She purred, "Lilith will show you the way." But it was Bill who was shown the way. After the rush of blood to his head, he and the rest of the Authoritarians regathered to plot their path to domination. Bill said the key was to end the production of Tru Blood. Without it, vampires would be forced to feed on humans, thus unleashing their destructive powers. Time to go bomb shopping!

Hoyt also had his loyalty test when the vigilante yokels brought him Jessica on a silver-chained platter. They reveled in his chance to "stick it in" the cheatin' vamp tramp one last time, spelling out that "it" meant a stake, not Hoyt junk. Thanks for the clarification, rednecks! They locked him a room and left him to lose his vamp-stakin' virginity. And, as I suspect things went with Hoyt's actual virginity, he couldn't get it up. He discharged a gunshot, letting Jess snap the neck of one of the redneck vigilantes. That isn't to say he doesn't still have serious anger for Jess, but he isn't ready to show her the true death yet -- and most likely never will be. Unfortunately, Hoyt's show of chivalry happened during daylight, so Jess couldn't leave the house. Hoyt took off into the sunshine, promising to get help. Instead, he got lost on a dirt road and found a friendly face (one we didn't see), who wasn't so friendly at all and stuck a gun in Hoyt's face.

At the hospital, Sam overtook the vigilante redneck orderly, but Luna was fighting mad. So mad, in fact, that after Sam left to attend to the punk, she lost control and skinwalked right into Sam's body. Scared and unsure what to do, she scampered out of the hospital in her (now his) hospital gown, tush exposed. Luna-as-Sam found Actual Sam and Andy in the police station, interrogating the Obama-masked murderer (as a cobra, in Sam's case). He told them the location of Redneck Vigilante HQ and headed straight there, saving Jessica. However, Luna-as-Sam got terribly ill. Actual Sam took her home and expressed his love for her. It did the trick to turn her back into her former self, but she's still hurtin' something fierce in the tummy.

Elsewhere, Alcide prepped for his pack master showdown by having a bunch of crazy, acrobatic werewolf sex. The fortifying effects afterglow wouldn't be all that useful when Alcide discovered that claiming pack master position would involve murdering a hapless college track star. He refused to submit to that challenge, which saved the kid approximately none at all because JD is a jerk. Alcide threw himself at JD long enough to a.) get his ass handed to him and b.) give the kid a chance to run away. JD took chase, and Alcide recovered in time to save the innocent coed. JD ding-dinged round two, this time nearly killing Alcide with a big rock, but Martha ran in just in time to save the hulking hunk, claiming that JD would tarnish the entire pack if he began his tenure as master by murdering one of his own. That fight is far from over.

Meanwhile, Lafayette returned to Bon Temps after healing his mouth with V and having a tender moment with Ghost Jesus. Back on his home turf, the wicked witch officially went back to season 1 awesomeness, getting high in the bathtub and charging Arlene for his wiccan services (sassy rejoinders come free). Somehow Arlene scraped together the money for a seance (featuring Lafayette in his finest turban-esque do rag), and they tricked Terry and Patrick into coming back to Casa Bellefleur for a seance. Of course it went horribly wrong, and the spirit of Terry's Iraqi victim dove into Lafayette's body to throw down a gauntlet: Terry would have to kill Patrick, or vice versa. About two seconds later, Patrick ran out of there like a bat out of hell. TBD whether cowardice is an effective life-preserving technique.

And over at Fangtasia, a mean girl from Tara's high school turned up to torment T-bird. A brilliant idea with a new vampire who has very little control, I must note. Pam seemed upset the Tara hadn't adopted a "customer is always right" policy, but, as she put it succincly, "You don’t know me that well. My mad face and my happy face are the same." In fact, she was more than happy to let Tara exact revenge on her nemesis -- as long as it was downstairs away from other patrons. Pam chained up the racist hussy, glamoured her into offering up her very life to Tara, and left her child to suck the bitch's life away.

What did you think Truebies? Is Bill actually turning to the dark side, or is he positioning himself for a feat of Edgingtonian trickery? Speaking of whom, is there any chance Russell is actually interested in Steve Newlin? Or is the Rev. just a time filler? Are you ready for the Ifrit to make a move already (clearly Terry and Patrick aren't going to)? Is Alcide on a suicide mission? Luna's uncontrollable skinwalking: Yea or nay? And how did you feel about Stephen Moyer's directorial debut?



  1. Please end this Authority storyline. It is the worse. Even Tara is more interesting, and that's an accomplishment. Lafayette saved the episode.

    1. Yeah the authority story-line isn't that interesting, but I say wait to see where they take us.

  2. The best line came from Jason when hit by Sookie and her lightning bolt. When she asked him was he ok, he responded with, I am ok, you hit me in the head!




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