¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

NO SHOUTING



More and more, it seems like people are yelling at me. This is especially noticeable on local and cable news, TV and radio ads, morning, afternoon and late night talk shows, religious channels, entertainment tabloid shows, and, NPR aside, radio. It's almost as if all the news anchors, reporters, product pitchmen, talk show hosts, politicians, sportscasters, DJ's and preachers have forgotten how good modern microphones are. Regardless, the purpose of vanity cards is not just to point out the problem, it's also to propose the solution. And here's one: The Whisper Channel. A cable news channel where everyone, including advertisers, speaks in gentle, dulcet tones. Our marketing tag line will be one word, "shhh." Instead of grinning, shouting, overly-coiffed failed actors, our news anchors will be regular folks with beautiful speaking voices who, just to be on the safe side, have been heavily sedated. Think of it. You've had a brutal day at work. Traffic on the way home was a righteous bitch. You crawl into your home which is worth far less than you paid for it, and, because you want to stay informed, you turn on The Whisper Channel where a pleasant-looking woman with real hair, real nose, real wrinkles, real breasts and teeth the color of teeth, soothingly tells you about the latest terrorist attack, stock market fiasco, school shooting and, just to keep it interesting, emergency recall of the anti-anxiety meds you've been taking because they might cause impotence, blindness and insanity. But because of the way she says it, you are hunky dory. 

ALTERNATE MARKETING TAG LINE:
the whisper channel...
where human civilization sliding into the abyss
is nothing to shout about.

2 comments:

  1. It is relevant to remember too that music has gotten louder and many people have become so used to those high levels of noise and also speaking or rather yelling to be heard over the drums or guitars.
    There are lots of studies out there indicating that the general population has lost a significant amount of their hearing.
    great post.
    saludos,
    raulito

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a friends that listens to loud music and I often wonder if he is doing damage to himself.

      Delete

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