¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

GIVE & NOT TAKE...


So the other day I was @ the barber shop having a typical convo with my barber. We talked about this n’ that, but one subject of our conversation that stuck with me is when he told me that his long-term girlfriend and he are no longer together because she cheated on him. Dude look like he was going to cry as he was talking about all the things he did for her and how much he sacrifice for her. It was SO amazing to see a man reduce to a child-like state, but as sorrowful as he was I couldn’t sympathize with him 100% because I knew that he cheated on her as well. In fact he tried to talk to my sister on that level and CONSTANTLY asks about her when we see each other. I just find it AMAZING how hetero men can cheat left, right AND center without blinking an eye, but the moment their #1 girl does it, they can’t deal with it. Why do you think men can GIVE & NOT TAKE when it comes to infidelity in their relationships?

Do you think it is nature and they just can’t help themselves? Do you think they subscribe to that old adage that says ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus?’ I remember being a teenage boy dating women and how my counterparts would INSIST that I should have as much women as I want. It didn’t matter who got hurt…the ONLY that was important was getting what I entitled to. I found this concept to be a bit much and I guess I didn’t do it because part of me knew I wasn’t into females and the other part was the fact that I was raised in a home with mostly females. I saw what cheating men did them and it wasn’t pretty @ all!

But I blame the women that know he is doing it and the ones that these men are cheating with. How does a man such as this come across as being THE man? What qualifies him to be the type of man who SHOULD have as many women as he pleases? Talk about confidence gone wrong…I don’t see the intrigue of such men, but then again I am NOT their target gender so…It was SO nice to see a woman that decided that enough is enough AND too much is too much! It is HIGH time these boys fraternizing as men get a dose of their own medicine. From the moment they realize what sex is, they become boys that are obsessed with getting it! I guess if they are not, they would somehow cripple their masculinity and would be unable to validate their reasons for breathing. Is this what living in a patriarchal society means?

As hetero-men do they need to have a following of various females to feel superior? Do you think if they didn’t live in this way, they would be seen as traitors to mankind? How does one intervene to save the hetero male from decades of womanizing behavior? I know that ACCEPTING truth about who we are and what we do is something that NEVER happens for we humans. Despite all of their behavior, I believe that underneath they know that their actions are wrong, but being told this is how it is done, how can they not do it? I say by LIVING THEIR TRUTH and NOT living according to someone else’s idea of who they feel you are and should be…

19 comments:

  1. I think that part of the difficulty is that the relationship paradigm inside most Black communities is so narrow, completely centered around monogamy. With only one possible approach to crafting and doing relationship of course cheating ends up being the only way to express interest in another. I do think that monogamy privileges men over wimmin especially inside oppressed communities where it is understood that one way a man can access patriarchal power that might be forbidden to him elsewhere is by obsessively and openly pursuing wimmin. It's sad that it isn't understood by many that this model of masculinity is oppressed in that it reduces men who experience oppression to the status of animals ruled by their genitals or boys perpetually stuck in adolescence. It makes liars and cheats of them. It means that they will not be understood as intelligent, verbal, intentional and as good as their word. I think that for me being polyamorous and having conversations with Black men about what it means to be honest, to be open, to be intelligently sexual, to be emotional, to be intentional and verbal when it comes to their desires has been rewarding. I do my part to encourage them to relate to their desires as adult humans who are spirited, trustworthy and capable of truthfully negotiating. That feels good. :)

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  2. I don't know why they are so unfaithfull.

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  3. I have heared some men say that monogamy is unnatural for men, that it's against their genes to have only one partner. According to these men, men are born hunters, that's why they are forever chasing women.

    And apparently because some of us don't want to accept how nature intended things, they go behind our back and cheat.

    But then many of us women allow men to cheat with us & even to cheat on us. Some women will tell you that 'we all know that men cheat'. So they accept it as part of life. Others even accept polygamy because it is better to see where their 'dogs eat' (as they say). On the other hand, there are those who knowingly have affairs with married men because 'they know how to treat a woman' or because the women don't want 'committed' relationships.

    When it comes to relationships & human nature, who knows really?

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  4. But as a rule, no man wants his woman to cheat on him. It is not 'allowed'. You'd be undermining his 'manhood'.

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  5. *shrug* A dog will rut. A man will mate with more than his dick when he turns from dog to man.

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  6. WODNER MAN - I WONDER WHAT MY BARBER WOULD SAY...

    DARK DAUGHTA - IT IS NICE SEEING YOU HERE...I'VE MISSED YOUR VOICE! YOU SAID A FEW THINGS THAT MADE A LOT OF SENSE...MY FAVORITE LINE IS: It's sad that it isn't understood by many that this model of masculinity is oppressed in that it reduces men who experience oppression to the status of animals ruled by their genitals or boys perpetually stuck in adolescence...

    MECHADUDE2001 - I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW...

    SHIRLEY - I WAS HOPING TO GET YOUR OPINION ON THIS TOPIC & I AM GLAD YOU WEIGHED IN...WATCH OUT FOR THOSE HUNTERS DEAR!

    THE WALKING MAN - AMEN!

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  7. Shirley I don't think that monogamy is natural at all. If it was, we wouldn't have to be continually having conversations about who can't manage to maintain containment and why. I think a better conversation would be about how we can have safer, more honest, more respectful, less hypocritical, less oppressive encounters with people who are capable of loving us and treating us well. That's my plan, in any case. :)

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  8. And thanks for having me, gaytekeeper. :)

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  9. @ Dark Daughta - very interesting comment. But I don't know if I would be comfortable & accepting with my partner (if I had one) having that freedom.

    @Gayte - I have been off-limits to the male specie for seven years now and I'm not sure if I will ever get back into the market. Too much time has passed.

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  10. SHIRLEY - HOW ABOUT YOU COME OVER TO THE SAME-SEX SIDE THEN?

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  11. That sounds like a plan. I can do that.

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  12. Except one tiny thing.. (Miss S, ever so aware that walls have ears, looks from side to side to make sure no one's near to listen)

    If I was male that'd be so much more nicer. But I'm female so...

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  13. Wait. Don't put that last comment on the blog. But I was serious nonetheless.

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  14. On a serious note my brother, It's really hard to see myself down the line as some dude's wife. It will be a miracle if it happens. I'm allergic to such a setup.

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  15. OKAY TGK... YOU HAVE THESE OPTIONS:

    (a) Voodoo doll made in your image, with pins sticking all over it. We'll prick you for hours on end

    (b) To hang till you die.

    (c) To cook in an electric chair.

    (d) To be chopped up on a guillotine like chopped liver.

    (e) Combination of all of the above. In that case we'll prick you a little; hang you halfway; fry you halfway & then chop your head off of your body.

    What say you TGK?

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  16. SHIRLEY - NO MAN'S WIFE EH? NO PROBLEM HERE...YOU CAN PRICK ME AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T HURT TOO MUCH.

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  17. Nah dude. It needs to hurt. Otherwise what would be the point of all that pricking?

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