¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 09 October 2009

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¡OUCH THAT HURT!...¿DO I MATTER?



I AM THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT BELIEVES NOTHING HAPPENS BY CHANCE. AS I SAT YESTERDAY WONDERING WHAT OLDIE, BUT GOODIE ENTRY THE UNIVERSE WAS GOING TO HAVE ME REPOST, I WAS MORE THAN HAPPY WHEN I CLICK THE VIEW RANDOM LINK & IT BROUGHT ME HERE. I REMEMBER WRITING THIS ENTRY & ME TRYING TO FIND SOME BALANCE TO WHO I AM & HOW OTHERS REALLY SEE ME. I CAN SAY TODAY THAT I HAVE FOUND MY MIDDLE GROUND & I CAN LIVE KNOWING THAT MY LIFE ISN’T IN VAIN…
In the grand scheme of things, I more often wonder if the things I want and need really matters to others whom I share this planet. I ask this question because too many times I have to deal with situations and events that force me to swallow whatever pill being PRACTICALLY shoved down my throat. Now the strange thing about me is that others would say that I am a B!TCH and an individual that only cares about himself, which totally is NOT the truth. I have more times than I care to count placed others before myself and as life would have it I am the one that is the left out in the cold. Nevertheless, I cannot say that I am blameless; I however allowed others to place me last and themselves first. Yet still as I live do I ever do anything without CONSIDERING others especially if they are directly effected. Never would I have an attitude that @ anytime display the MY WAY or NO WAY syndrome. I am the most UNCOMPLICATED, EASY-GOING & SELFLESS person I know and sadly, @ the end of it all I DO NOT MATTER! I GUESS THIS IS APART OF WHAT IS CALL LIFE…MY LIFE THAT IS! How do I get a BREAK or CONSIDERATION for the place I occupy on this planet? I am ADAPTABLE and PLIABLE, always ensuring that I accommodate others and their needs; I am very much aware of the BLACK n’ WHITE variations of life. However, I live my life thinking that most of us are in that GREY area and this is where the overlapping of LIFE truly lies. Nonetheless, I am the GREY matter and I DO NOT matter because I get the treated otherwise. I would love to say that it does not HURT or AFFECTS me, but I am HUMAN and this does hurt. I feel life’s PAIN just like anyone; I guess my SOLE purpose is to feel MORE pain than the rest of the world. I know that may seem like an exaggeration, but it is how I feel…IT IS JUST HOW MY LIFE IS…

6 comments:

  1. Don't you know that people like yourself are always last in line? I often say it's the hyenas that survive in this world, NOT the lambs!

    Maybe I'm exaggerating but I really feel that way. Some people might not agree with me when I say most of us do not understand the meaning of the word 'kindness'. We take & don't care what happens behind us.

    I know that you are selfless, uncomplicated & easygoing. And I've never even met you face to face.

    What you say in here my gayte-keeper, I totally understand.

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  2. You're doing the right thing from what I've read. You put others first, there's nothing wrong with that. We only love others how we want to be loved. The reality is that not everyone is going to reciprocate that same type of love. Its a harsh and disappointing reality but that doesn't mean we should cease to do the right thing.

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  3. MISS SHALLOTTE - THOUGH WE'VE NEVER MET FACE TO FACE, WE ARE CONNECTED...SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW PIC?

    FUZZY - YOU ARE SO RIGHT...I STILL HELP OTHERS...I JUST KEEP THEM A SAFE DISTANCE...

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  4. Gayte-keeper this piece resonates with me on a fundamental level. I often feel and wonder the things you spell out in this post. Other people can be extremely hostile,disappointing, and disheartening and if you are open to really feeling everything around you, it can really burn you, especially if you were trying to help them and were thinking of them first. I don't know any other answer other than to keep forging ahead and try not to become jaded.

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  5. Hey. I love the pic. Just don't go tryin' to hide yourself again. I didn't like that.

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  6. KYLE - I AM SO GLAD IT DOES...

    MISS SHALLOTTE - I WON'T...

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