OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HOMOSEXUALITY: ¿WHAT DOES IT MEAN 2 U?

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This blog entry was done because there are some people in the world believe that our sexual orientation is a choice. Leading a life where you accept your sexuality can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should "change your ways". If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that "helping homosexuals to become heterosexual" is possible, and treatments to "change" sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation. Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.

WHAT IS HOMOSEXUALITY?

Homosexuality is men being sexually and emotionally attracted to men, and women being sexually and emotionally attracted to women. This is also called same-sex attraction. Words sometimes used to describe those who experience same-sex attraction include homosexual people and gay men and lesbian women. However, not everyone who experiences same-sex attraction chooses to identify himself or herself as gay or lesbian.

NO INDIVIDUAL = NO COMMUNITY!

Just as individual drops of rain make up a puddle. Individual people make up a community. By definition, an individual is separate and distinct from others of the same kind. These individuals have independent thoughts. And to have independent thoughts, they must be free from external control and constraints. Today, with many of us being controlled through religion and label constraints, it is no surprise that very few individuals actually exist in our so-called Black Gay or SGL community group.

Some people don't want to be gay because of how others have reacted to them. Maybe their parents don't want them to be gay. Maybe some of their friends have stopped being their friends. Whatever the case, that's not a good enough reason. It won't work, and you'll only be unhappy. If you don't want to be gay, that's fine, but it's a choice you have to make because it's what YOU really want. Some people don't want to be gay because they think that if they become straight, all their problems will disappear. THIS IS JUST NOT TRUE! There is no quick-fix way to become straight or to deal with all of life's problems. Both take a lot of work. Some people don't want to be gay because they don't think they really are gay, even though they are attracted to the same sex and not the opposite sex. Deep inside, they say, "This might be what I feel, but it's not who I really am." Or, "This might be what I feel, but it's not who I really want to be." And so they choose not to identify themselves as gay or lesbian, and choose not to act on their attraction to people of the same sex. Instead, they seek to become the person they feel they really are or want to be. Some people don't want to be gay because their religious beliefs say that homosexual behavior is not what God wants of their lives. Influenced by their strong religious convictions, they have decided not to engage in homosexual behavior, whether or not this ever leads to a change in attractions as well. It is a difficult path to choose, but it's what they want to do.

Our bodies are the testimony of the first creation of art. We wear the light like it is a robe and we reveal the true beauty. We are the result of GOD’s fine art. We are the earth, the emotional Ocean, sensuous exotic creatures, tempting forbidden fruit...there is a true sense of freedom and power when you reveal yourself to the world. We are the celebration of SEXUAL FREEDOM! We resonate a sensuality, strength and confidence that defines HUMANITY. Society is threaten and uncomfortable with OUR SEXUALITY…SADLY WE OURSELVES ARE AS WELL…We treat THE LIFE as if it’s something UNREAL, somethingUNTRUE…something that we HAPHAZZARDLY DO. When we F&CK just for the F&CK OF IT we don’t compliment OUR true beauty. Hence we allow society to focus on the shameful and ugly aspect of THE LIFE. Why can’t we allow them to admire and appreciate the beautiful aspects of OUR SEXUALITY?

CONSTRAITS WITH LABELS...

Top or Bottom. Gay or Same Gender Loving. Feminine or Masculine. We've all heard them or have been asked to label ourselves by them. For whatever reason, many Black SGL or Gay men seem to be OK with allowing them selves to be placed into categories. These constraints simply strip away our own individuality, while separating us from one another causing wide-spread lack of respect. But what’s even more unfortunate is that many of us never ask, "Why can't I just be me?" The sad truth is that very few of us are free from religious control or label constraints, thus leaving very few individuals by definition to make up a true community. And unfortunately, we will never obtain a sense of community and togetherness without more self-thinking individuals. Watch how fast homophobia diminishes when we stop subjecting ourselves to religious abuse. Watch how the respect for one another increases with the disassociation to labels. And lastly, watch how fast the HIV rates decline once we start seeing ourselves as individuals and loving ourselves accordingly.

EXTERNAL CONTROL THROUGH RELIGION...

I think it is safe to say that the majority of us were raised under a Christian methodology. Very few have asked themselves why they believe what they do. And not many have actually sat down and interpreted the bible for themselves. Instead, they've allowed the words of their ministers and bishops to become bond, relinquishing control of their minds. Most of us were taught from the beginning that homosexuality was a "SIN" and simply an abomination. And even today as adults, many of us choose to hear these same words every Sunday. And although some may argue that they simply ignore it, the simple fact is that by them remaining in a gay-bashing church is a sign that somewhere deep down they believe those words or hate to be true. This reminds me of the process of brainwashing. If someone can spit in your face and you still remain seated to continue listening to what they have to say, you have lost control over yourself. Your independence is lost.

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I have found my self in place knowing that I am GAY, I think I was born this way for some un-know reason. I don’t have any regrets or worry about what is to come, I’ve learned that this is BIGGER than YOU or I. I take things with grind of salt and take baby steps when I walk. I have come to understand what HOMOSEXUALITY means to ME, what does it mean to YOU?