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Friday, 28 January 2011

SLEEPING WITH A STRANGER...

I GOT THIS EMAIL & WONDERED WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO THIS PERSON: I have this situation that I would like some input on.  There's this brother I've been kicking it wit for the last 2 1/2 years.  To be completely honest our "relationship" started as a sexual thing.  We met online and chatted for many months via the Internet and phone calls.  We had an in person meeting and connected real well. 

He is truly a great guy.  We can talk about anything, we laugh, share our feelings and the sex is amazing.  I never really had any expectations of him as I wasn't really looking for anything more than a good nut...real talk.  I am always honest with him about the way I feel/felt but kept him at a guarded distance in an effort of self preservation. 

He knows and the past obstacles that I have had with a previous relationship and is really understanding of the fact that I am not necessarily looking for a relationship (but open to the idea with the right person).  On many occasions he has expressed his affections for me.  We always joke about him being my man. 

My issue now is that I think that he could be the right one for me.  There are just some things that are kind of rubbing the wrong way.  (Quick disclaimer...the following items never bothered me previously because I saw him as a real cool fuck buddies).  I really feel like I could see myself with him for the long haul, minus a few things that I'm just not sure how to address.

First, he never calls me from his house...it’s always when he just left home or on his way home.  Another thing is even thought the sex is amazing and intimate, we rarely ever kiss.  I don't think I'm tripping but at the same time I do.  I am reluctant to question any of this with him directly as I feel it goes against the nature of what we have developed. 

At times I feel like I'm playing with his emotions and vice versa.  The weirdest part of all this is that I, under usual circumstances, would have a better handle of such a situation.  I said all that to say should I let the sleeping dog lie or try to fix something that isn't broke.  I really regard as a good friend, and don't want to lose that. 

At this point I'm playing everything to the left.... I am sleeping with a stranger or is he the same and I'm the one changing?  I not a soft hearted person and welcome any and all very direct and blunt comments you can give.

10 comments:

  1. maybe he's just the same & it's your friend who is changing. This reads almost identical to my own unfortunate situation & for me I think the trouble stared when I changed from being in love with his dick to being in love with his face. I'm being told I either have to roll with his ways or if he's making me unhappy more than he makes me happy, then I should cut all ties .. but how do you cut ties with the best sex you've had & for what reason ... ?

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  2. Roll with it. Don't try to "fix" something, that never works. Be with someone, and compromise. Just don't compromise your integrity or things that really matter to you - but that's a border/limit that you know yourself, everybody's border/limit is different.
    Give love a chance! :)

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  3. He never calls you from home

    He jokes about you being his man

    He seldom kisses you

    I was raised in the era of "New Math", but to me, something doesn't add up.


    It would appear that there's a part of his life that he intentionally hasn't shared with you. If you're okay with that, fine. Just don't let your heart get in the way because it will likely get broken at some point. Enjoy the dick and accept the relationship for what it is.

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  4. I would tell this person to leave well enough alone. It's apparent that the brotha is in it just for sex right now, and could very well be a married man. He's somebody else's husband so stop trying to make him your man even if he is oh so the right fit. Face the fact that he belongs to someone else.

    All the signs are there that he is in a relationshio, shyte he can't and don't call you from home. Enjoy the moment as you lay.

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  5. He's a fuck buddy and you're HIS FUCK BUDDY. That is what you both signed up for and that has been the staus quo for over 2years. The only thing that has changed is YOU and YOUR FEELINGS.

    The guy already has a boyfriend that is why he never calls you from home. And he doesn't kiss you because thats a little to intimate of an act to be doing with your booty call. And inside you already know this and thats why it bothers you.

    "To be completely honest our "relationship" started as a sexual thing."

    -And thats still all it is....even if he does listen to your problems before or after the sex. Stop trying to make it more than it is. If you now want a man make the neccesary changes in yourself and in your life in order to find one and leave your fuck buddy out of it.

    With all due respect & brotherly love,
    Toy

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  6. JACKEROO - THAT'S THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION.

    ReplyDelete
  7. CALI-P - I SAY THE SAME THING TO HIM BECAUSE THE ODDS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING TO WHERE HE WANTS IT TO GO ARE ARE VERY SLIM.

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