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Tuesday, 22 September 2009

¿SEXUAL DIFFERENCES: CAN A RELATIONSHIP WORK WHEN...?




One likes penetration; the other does not. One likes tossing salad; the other does not…I can go on AND on about the differences we find when it comes to SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY.

Is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY something you just have with a person? Or is it something you can develop over time? How do you begin to define something like sexual compatibility? What’s more important, how often you want sex, what kind of sex you like, or what having sex means to you? And how are different aspects weighted?

There’s no one answer, but I wanted to know what your thoughts are on this subject, can a couple with DIFFERENT sexual desires make a relationship work?


11 comments:

  1. First of all let me say I love you Gayte! You are a God among mere mortals. lol.

    Alright, now to the question. I feel like sex is just like anything else in a relationship: it requires compromising and understanding. You're not always going to get your way in sex, but when you care for someone, not getting your way doesn't really matter.

    Like me, personally, when David and I first got together, we both assumed he was going to be the bottom. I was happy with that, he was happy with that, but at the same time, he just wasn't ready to do it. I waited (im)patiently for six years to finally be able to mount my lioness. lol.

    We have so many differences in sexual interests, that pretty much every day is a compromise. Not a reluctant compromise, but more of a subconscious one. It doesn't really matter how/when/why we do anything sexually. The only thing that matters is after our rendezvous, both of us is left smiling...

    A couple CAN work, even having different sexual desires. Because take away all the superfluous fluff of sex, and it all boils down to just making each other, and ourselves pleased. :-)

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  2. MIKEL - THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT, I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT BROUGHT IT ON?

    NOW TO YOUR ANSWER...I AM GLAD YOU WEIGHED IN ON THIS SUBJECT BEING A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. I FIND THAT YOUR COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS IN LINE WITH WHAT I WAS THINKING...

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  3. I think one has to be ready to compromise at a point, especially if everything else in the relationship is there. If you're really compatible with someone, there are certain lengths to which you won't mind going to please that other person. While the act itself may not bring you pleasure, you'll find pleasure in pleasing your SO. To a point.

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  4. If they don't work on those sexual differences and learn to adapt and enjoy adaptation, no, it won't work. It's not like tea vs. coffee, or "Mary Poppins" or "Bedknobs and Broomsticks".

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  5. I was about to dazzle with you my answer when I suddenly remembered that anything I would say in this instance would be purely theoretical.

    Oh well....

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  6. I really don't want to discuss this topic since was one of the causes of my last breakup.

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  7. Sometimes it becomes necessary to outsource those services that can't be provided inhouse.

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  8. Is it me or do tops seem to be less compromising when it comes to sex, i have always said that if a person could not compromise at all at certain things then sex is the very last thing they would think about compromising on, it seems that most people have the idea of "what if i dont get pleased and im left with huge sex urges but my partner is satisfied"

    its hard enough finding a partner nowerdays but whta makes the situation impossable i find is that people stick to their sexual position, its an either take it as it is or leave it even after you find that you gel with the person on many other levels.

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  9. i think people definitely have to be compatible sexually. we always hear sex isnt everything but it does play a big part and when compatible then that rules out the chances of cheating on your partner.

    it seems to me that being single in ATL and with trying to find a partner the "kind of sex" you like plays a vital part in whether or not they will even want to talk to you.

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  10. Relationships suffer when there are not enough things in common but yes a relationship can work even with both partners having different views, sexual practices etc. Being different gives the relationship growing room, each one teaches one. Introduction to a new things can be fun and interesting.

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  11. THE BLACK OUT BLOG - YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD...COMPROMISE IS THE NAME OF THE GAME...

    EDUARDO - I AM GLAD THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT IDEA WHEN IT COMES TO THIS SUBJECT...

    MISS SHALLOTTE - YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE...

    DARAKH - THANK YOU...

    THAT DUDE - SORRY TO HEAR THAT...

    GARCON - UH-HUH...I KNOW THAT IF I AM OUTSOURCING THOSE SERVICES, I WON'T HAVE A NEED FOR MY CURRENT RELATIONSHIP...

    KABOMO - WELL I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT THE TYPE OF MEN YOU GO AFTER...I MEAN YOU PRESENT YOURSELF A CERTAIN WAY THAT ATTRACTS A CERTAIN TYPE OF MAN...WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE...

    NOBLE - YEP THAT'S ONE OF THE PLACES WHERE COMPATIBILITY SHOULD EXIST...I ALWAYS THINK THAT WHEN PPL SAY SEX ISN'T EVERYTHING, THEY ARE TRYING TO GET US TO FOCUS ON THE RELATIONSHIP AS A WHOLE WITH SEX BEING APART OF THAT...I GET THAT, BUT SEX IS ONE THE MOST VITAL PART OF THE RELATIONSHIPS WE HAVE...

    CHET - YOU ARE SO RIGHT, BUT I OFTEN FIND THOSE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE FEW & FAR IN BETWEEN...

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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