¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

THE GHETTO: ¿STATE OF MIND OR BEING? – BABIES HAVING BABIES…



FAMILY: where generational blessings OR Curses are passed on to children because the majority of ADULTS do NOT know themselves…I can remember being a boy no more than the age of 10 and my mother telling me that she didn’t want me; and who could blame her? She was 19 didn’t finish high school, met a man that told her to let her uncle take her and her baby because he wasn’t interested…After hearing how she tried SO many remedies to bring forth her period by drinking various homemade concoctions I felt sorry for her because here she is a female that thought she was in love, giving herself to a man that planted a seed which he didn’t want to nurture… MY mother was A BABY HAVING A BABY…

How does a woman in her shoes grow up and be a mother when she herself lost her mother @ an early age? I know that a mother’s instincts take over and she somehow knows how to take care of a child, but when you are a baby yourself, how does she share her life with a child when she is barely an adult? She grew up in a sex-taboo culture that skirts around issues of condoms and birth control. I remember when my sister first got her period, my mother told her that she is going to place a plastic bag on her room door and when my sister sees her period she wants to see EVERY single proof…her reason? Well because young girls today are too slick…Now I know her intentions were from a good place, but I can’t help but think that she missed A GOLDEN opportunity to talk to both my sister and myself about sex and being responsible (though I  already was sexually active @ that time).

How does a mother deal with a young boy who has developed a taste for sex by the time he was 12/13? I grew up with tons of family around me and NO one talked to me about the changes going on in my body, I had to experiment with masturbation to find out that the white stuff that is around the head of the penis needs to be cleaned DAILY! (Gross I know, so imagine how I felt?) We are all wired to have sex; well most are, so shouldn’t there be an URGENT need to prepare the next generation as to the pitfalls associated with premature activity that can lead to so many complications including disease and unwanted pregnancy, and even death? I asked this before and I will ask it again, how can a young woman such as my mother teach me when NO one has taught her?

I know what I am talking about isn’t just a GHETTO problem, but I find that this is largely the case for SO many folks living in the “GHETTO.” What becomes of the SANCTITY of the mother AND father when it turns us into more of the same? It is SO rare to go back into my childhood neighborhood and NOT see a female that I grew up with who does NOT have @ least 4/5 kids. I know babies are a blessing, but these women ONLY care about their hair, clothes AND getting that next man to take care of them. The mindset of many of today’s parents living in the GHETTO is a detriment to us all; and it is my belief that if we are to correct this, we are going to have to look deep look within ourselves for the cure. SO many of us just sit and say but what are they to do? Where do they turn? How can they change what they didn’t create?

I suppose I have way TOO many solutions in this head of mine, but how about we take the proactive approach much like the way the medical community would handle an epidemic? That is, we have to take preventive measures while simultaneously treating the ailments. Attacking cultural plagues will take time and we will have to employ studied and measured responses. From what we have here today, it is OBVIOUS that when persons are left virtually on their own to give meaning to these concepts, we end up with a lot of confusion. But if we were to take what I write here seriously and take what happens when BABIES HAVE BABIES, wouldn’t the shared sense of the sacred , be  that which is @ the essence of all things?

FOR FAR TOO LONG WE’VE USED “THE LAW OF PARSIMONY,” WHICH EMPHASIZES THAT THE SIMPLEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION OR THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE ANSWER IS THE BEST ONE TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES THAT KEEP THE GHETTO WHERE IT IS. IS IT THAT DIFFICULT TO HOLD EACH PERSON IN THE GHETTO ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE LOVE THEY SHOULD SHARE WITH EACH OTHER? WOULDN’T A SHARED SENSE OF THE SACRED, A CLEAR DEFINITION OF WHAT THAT MEANS, INSTITUTIONS TO DEVELOP, FOSTER & IMPLEMENT THE DESIRED CONCEPTS, IDEALS & LEADERSHIP TAKE THE GHETTO TO PLACES IT HAS NEVER BEEN? IF WE CAN UNIVERSALLY GET THE GHETTO TO LIVE UP & HONOR THIS MOST PRIMAL OF IDEALS, WOULDN’T WE MAKE A MAJOR STEP IN THE REHABILITATION OF OUR GHETTOS? WOULDN’T SOMETHING LIKE THIS SHAPE OUR FAMILIES, SOCIAL, CIVIC N’ RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS?

8 comments:

  1. Planned Parenthood comes to mind. What a sad state of affairs when a child has to raise a child; today there are to many chidren having children and what is really sad those same children were raised by children. One would think that after the trials and tribulations they had to experience that they would refrain from having children until they were educated, wealthy enough to support and educate the child or children, but no it has become so the norm for a parent to be 15 or 16, grandmama 31 or 32 and great grandma 46. I see it all to often and no one seems to care, they have babies like it is fashionable or something.

    I may have mentioned this before that in my work I see this all to often and trying to educate the kids about safe sex, planned parenthood, the importance of a good education and self respect seems to go in one ear and out the other.

    Sorry to hear that you had to experience being a Love Child, that can be a hard pill to swallow. (Love Child is a child born out of wedlock and never meant to be, different from the rest). The beauty in your situation is that you overcame the bullshyte and turned into a very loving, respectful and intelligent man.

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  2. Ghetto salvation? I don't know Kishna. I am not able to see it.

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  3. CHET - I MOST CERTAINLY OVERCAME MY LOVE CHILD STATUS...

    MISS SHALLOTTE - I KNOW YOU CAN'T MOST WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE IT EITHER...

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  4. 1.Why are plenty of people, especially black people, not scared of contracting HIV despite numerous messages on television/billboards/other publications? Why do some black men believe that if you have AIDS you can sleep with a baby to get cured?
    2. Why is it that in this country (South Africa) you often hear of young black girls deliberately falling pregnant so they can get their hands on government child grants? And what do they spend that money on? Clothes, hair & nice time.
    3.Why are stories appearing of some black people deliberately infecting themselves with TB so they can get some grant money?
    4. Why are black children not in school when they're supposed to? What are they doing in malls during school hours drinking & having sex in the toilets?
    5. Why do we as black people continue to hold on to so-called traditions that only hold the rest of the black nation back?
    6. Why is it okay for black men to have as many sexual partners as they please and too many people think it's the way God and nature intended it? And why is it acceptable for them to make babies that they don't want to look after?
    7. Why do we live for parties and fun and flashing our money around?

    That's us black people. Continuing in this way, in this century, Mr Kishna Andrew Marc Carey. Do you see a light at the end of the tunnel?

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  5. Ag, Kish. I guess I'm filled with anger and despair just thinking about the way we live our lives.

    If we were to search your blog we would find a number of posts you've written before on where the solution lies. But it feels me with despair because I don't think people are buying into the message.

    But who knows. Maybe I'm just a prophet of doom.

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  6. Great blog! As I Psych major I love the use of Parsimony!

    How do you suggest this movement begins? Who do we start with?

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  7. I'm a love child, too, baby!! Thanks for sharing such a personal story. There was a time when being born out of wedlock held deep shame. That time has passed as even celebrities and women of wealth and means are having children out of wedlock today. But obviously there are different connotations when you are poor.

    Truly, though, the ghetto is a complicated and intricate social construct. A lot of it has to do with the way welfare and assistance is structured, with the architecture and layout of the projects; these things reinforce deprivation and loss and foster cruel and unusual means of survival.

    Change the environment and you have the POSSIBILITY of changing the attitude. Nature v nurture! Take a child born in the ghetto and put him in an upper middle class family and see what he becomes. Take an upper middle class child and raise him in the ghetto and see what he becomes. We have this information but do little to put it to use in the changing ennvironments like ghettos and prisons. The fact of the matter is, if it doesn't affect OUR lives directly, no one cares. People in the ghetto understand NO ONE CARES, that they are on their own. This is another factor in why they are they way they are.

    If we want wide and pervasive change that will be up to the middle class, as history demonstrates. The great revolutions of the world weren't started by the poor in Russia, France, the American Colonies or even the Civil Rights Movement. They were all started by the middle class who galvanized the poor and used their raw emotions to fuel and shape change.

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  8. MISS SHALLOTTE - I KNOW IT IS VERY EASY TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THE NEGATIVE OF IT ALL, BUT I FIND THAT WHEN WE FEEL LIKE THIS, IT IS NATURAL TO JUST LET IT BE & TRY OUR BEST TO WORK THROUGH IT...

    STUDENT OF LIFE - THANK YOU...I SUGGEST THAT WE START WHERE THE PROBLEMS ARE @ IT'S HIGHEST WHICH IS WITH OUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND FRIENDS...I KNOW SOME MAY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WORDS ARE FALLING ON DEAF EARS, BUT IT HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE THAT SOMETHING WILL ALWAYS STICK...

    THOMAS - IT IS NICE TO HAVE COMPANY...I AGREE WITH YOU ON THE CHANGE ENVIRONMENT YOU CAN CHANGE THE OUTCOME...I SO LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR VOICE HERE ON MY BLOG...

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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