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Have you ever wondered if the people you spend your social time with are really the best people you could be hanging around? Did you choose your friends or are they just FRIENDS of habit and environment? As we get older, I find that we have fewer friends and more acquaintances. We outgrow many things during the course of a lifetime and take many detours. During the course of our journey we make new friends with others because we have something in common OR something that attracts one another. For a long time, I've wondered about the meaning of the word FRIEND. From my understanding, a FRIEND is someone that lets us be who we are AND vice versa. With that said, how does that theory stack up in the HOMOSEXUAL world? Far be it for me to criticize OUR community but OUR reality dictate that WE have NO real allegiance OR loyalty among ourselves. I can only pray that during the course of lives WE evolve in some way or another. Now some of us evolve faster than others and in different directions…OR NOT @ ALL! I get that NO two people are ever the same. Each individual is shaped by their own unique set of experiences. But in all of that how is that WE can’t find some REAL tangible element that can foster a FRIENSHIP? If I were to examine our lives @ an early age, one would see that we tend to form most of our early friendships with the other kids we go to school with or kids of a similar age living in the same neighborhood. These friendships may last for our entire lives but often as we get older these friendships simply fade as we move away from the area we grew up in or we take differing directions in life. The same goes for HOMOSEXUAL; WE form friendships out of this need to SOCIALIZE in certain circles. But what happens when one of starts to, I don’t know grow for whatever reason? FRIENDS COME & GO THAT IS THE NATURE OF OUR LIVES. HOWEVER MAKING NEW FRIENDS & REMAINING FRIENDS SHOULD BE AN EFFORTLESS PROCEDURE. I FIND THAT HOMOSEXUAL MEN DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEMSELVES. SO MANY OF US FORCE OURSELVES TO BE FRIENDS WITH OTHERS THAT WE NEVER GET TO REALLY GET THE CONCEPT OF WHAT A FRIEND TRULY IS. CHOOSING FRIENDS SHOULD BE AS NATURAL AS BREATHING, IT SHOULD BE A SIMPLE PROCESS TJAT RAISES THE INTERNAL VIBRATION & LEAD TO A HAPPIER LIFE NO MATTER IF THAT FRIEND IS IN YOUR LIFE OR NOT…SO TELL ME, WHY ARE YOUR FRIENDS YOUR FRIENDS?
Two points I agree wholeheartedly: 1. a friend is someone who knows and accepts you for who you are and vice versa and 2. homosexuals rarely know how to be friends with each other. a major deficiency within our community is that allot of LGBT people either don't know themselves [self-actualization] or they don't love themselves and that in my opinion is at the core of the problem. We have so many insecurities within ourselves that we project them onto others and there is rarely no substance @ the core of the relationships that we form with others. So we have acquaintances that are based on the an idea but we rarely look @ what's real or what's @ the core of those we call our friends. Which in my opinion is such a hard thing since everything is such a 'glamour' and we rarely even show what's behind the facade. In essence we don't present ourselves to each other as individuals but rather as an idea or worst a cliche and vice versa hence we have these relationships that aren't based on more than just that.
ReplyDeleteI really wish that I could answer the question you posed, but I have an incomplete answer which really isn't an answer because I am not really sure why my friends are my friends being that friendships are not nearly as solid as they had been when I was a younger man, in fact I would relish the idea of having a "real friend" the kind of friend(s) I had when I was ripping and running the streets back in the day. Those friendships were soild or at least I believe.
ReplyDeleteHomosexual men not only make the best friend for another homosexual man most are true, but finding that perfect and true homosexual friend doesn't come easy and generally has a price tag attached to the friendship and I do not mean (money) and trust doesn't come easy for some men, we so often don't trust ourselves and that makes it very hard to trust others and the older we get the less effort we apply into trusting or searching for friendships, many of us have come to realize that you make your friends early in life and they stay with you a lifetime and not just a season.
Gay is the new Straight
ReplyDeleteFriends are the new Family