H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. & THE INTIMATE CONNECTION

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Life is meant to be shared with someone you love. But the first step in love is dating to find that special someone. Nonetheless, WE SAME-GENDER-LOVING MEN are at a disproportionately high risk for HIV infection and finding LOVE in these times are risky and difficult. It’s alarming to say the least but statistic show that one out of every two men you meet has HIV. This is a sad fact that 25 years into the AIDS pandemic the numbers getting bigger and bigger and the odds are stacked extremely high against us. It would be nice if this disease had some way of being seen with the naked eye but it’s not. We are told that we should PROTECT OURSELVES EVERY SINGLE TIME. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE. RAP IT UP! Doesn’t this mean that we have to assume every SAME-GENDER-LOVING-MAN that has sex had at least been exposed to HIV, if not had full blown AIDS? If that’s the case; should we be having SEX, DATING or seek a LONG-TERM-RELATIONSHIP? I know that sex cost and is it worth it? WE can decide to become CELIBATE, but how realistic is that? From the beginning of time our soldiers that fought on the battle lines took their freedom via sex, so how or why would it stop now? I HAVE NO PROBLEMS HAVING SEX, DATING or SEEKING A LONG-TERM-RELATIONSHIP with an individual that has H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. I would admit that I wouldn’t throw myself into any of these situations with such eagerness and enthusiasm without being EXTREMELY cautious and adhere to the SAFETY SEXUAL GUIDELINES that can ensure that I am not in contact with this disease. I know that I will be called crazy and my actions seen as suicidal, but tell me aren’t persons that have this disease just like any other person that has a long term illness? I know this is a complex situation because we are not only facing their mortality but we are facing ours as well, and this is frightening. But I think that we need to handle this situation with delicate care and attention, we have to find ways and means to co-exist on this planet. But what is the etiquette of dating someone with HIV or AIDS? What are the safety issues for me as the negative sexual partner? These thoughts occurred to me and I wonder how does one handle a situation such as this? I say start slow and go out on a few dates and see where things go. If you dig him and he digs you, then sit him down and discuss what the options are in this situation. It wouldn’t hurt you or him and who knows this could the ONE, the LOVE that you were waiting for, LOVE is LOVE and HIV or AIDS does not diminish it. But before this stage can be reached WE need to make OUR BROTHERS and SISTERS feel comfortable and open so that they can tell us what their status is. So often too many of us live as if this doesn’t exist and just go on like it doesn’t matter. There is a stigma placed on persons that have this disease and we are not making it any easier for us to move forward and destroy this disease once and for all. Do you know how many HEALTHY CARRIERS are out there? I believe that the cure is in the disease itself, but if we keep losing persons how can that happen? Don’t you think it makes sense to try and safe guard OUR SEX? If we are REAL with ourselves we would recognize that we will always have SEX no matter what. We start out with a unrealistic or uncertain plan to be 100% safe, but as the night goes on and the drinks go down and the men start looking better and our desire for sex or just simple human contact starts to kick in, we lower and lower our resolve. We bargain with our lives and rationalize ourselves into risky situations we regret later. THIS DISEASE HAS TAKEN SO MUCH FROM US! I SAY IT IS POSSIBLE FOR GAY MEN TO FIND HARMONY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. THE PROBLEM IS WHEN ONE OF THE PAIR SNEAKS OFF FOR A MIDNIGHT SNACK AND BRINGS BACK HOME SOME CRUMBS. Frequently discuss the status of your relationship and talk about any desires to browse through the cupboards. Because sex is so unpredictable, always keep the lines of communication open. Isn’t it easier to be with someone knowing what they are dealing with? WE BARGIN and SEEK MEN ON THE SEXUAL PLAYGROUND ALL THE TIME, MOST OF WHICH NEVER DISCLOSE THEIR STATUS. WE GET ALL CAUGHT UP IN HIM and DON’T LET HIM POSSES 1/8 OF WHAT WE WANT IN A MAN; WE TEND TO MISJUDGE THE SEX and DON’T SEE THE CANDY. I SAY HALF THE BATTLE IS WORRYING ABOUT WHO HAS IT or WHO DOESN’T, WOULDN’T WE BE HALF WAY HOME IF WE EMBRACED OUR H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. INDIVIDUALS AND SEEK REAL RELATIONSHIPS? I AM NOT ENCOURAGING PERSONS TO ONLY SEEK THESE INDIVIDUALS; NOR AM I ADVOCATING THE POSSIBLE SPREAD OF THE DISEASE, I AM JUST SAYING THAT NAIVETE IS VERY DANGEROUS. SO IN MY OPINION IT’S CRAZY TO ASSUME THAT IF WE DON’T F&CK, DATE or LIVE WITH AN INDIVIDUAL THAT HAS THIS DISEASE THAT WE ARE SAFE FROM IT. I SAY IT’S QUITE THE OPPOSITE, THERE ARE PERSONS OUT THERE THAT HAS NO IDEA THAT THEY HAVE IT, OR KNOW AND DON’T WANT TO TELL OF THEIR SITUATION. So if you are exposed to the disease you worry and panic. But not to worry this is 2007 and we have many options and factual information that did not exist twenty years ago. We know that it is a lot harder than we thought to get infected. Simple exposure alone to HIV is not usually enough to cause transmission. Certain other factors which are too many and theoretical to discuss now must be present. What is more important is that you know what to do in that critical situation. It’s a matter of EDUCATION and MATURITY to realize the possibilities of a LONG-TERM and LOVING RELATIONSHIP with an H. I. V. POSITIVE PARTNER. IF WE ALL REMEMBER THAT H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. DOESN’T DEFINE WHO WE ARE, WE STAND A BETTER CHANCE OF ENHANCING OUR LIVES AND GETTING ONE STEP CLOSER TO ENDING THIS FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES.