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Monday, 31 October 2011


Dark, twisted tales that feed our need for revenge. Sexy scenes with hunky young bucks all desperately yearning to get laid. Gory sights and demented deeds that are so over-the-top they border on camp.

These are the staples of fright flicks, and though society may suspect that gays shy away from horror and violence, the truth is that we love it in films that speak to our unique sensibilities. So in honor of Halloween we compiled a list of our 13 favorites. We skip the standards like Rocky Horror and Death Becomes Her, and instead go for the obscure, the fun, the quirky, and the gayest of them all in hopes of inspiring your movie-watching ways this October 31st.

So sit back, cuddle closely with your man (or bestest girlfriends) and enjoy the show.

Rope (1948)
Inspired by real-life convicted killers (and lovers) Leopold and Loeb, Rope is Alfred Hitchcock’s gayest film ever. It features a gay couple (played by John Dall, and bisexual Farley Granger at his most luminous), a dinner party, witty repartee, and a body hidden in a stylish piece of furniture. Sounds like summers in Fire Island to us.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
Cast two gay icons—Bette Davis and Joan Crawford—as crazy / tragic protagonists, then have them abuse one another while performing at level 10, and you’ve got one of the most camptastic movies ever made. The dialogue is deliciously mean, the hatred between these two actresses leaks off the screen, and because the characters’ bitter back-story creates a strong foundation you have a solid film rather than one of those “so-bad-it’s-good” features gays love so much.

Best served in a crowd of drunk gays who can truly appreciate the dark humor.

Mad Monster Party? (1967)
Rankin-Bass, creators of the animated Christmas classic Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, gayed up this stop-motion monster mash with groovy dancing, Broadway-worthy songs and Phyllis Diller as the Frankenstein monster’s bride. Diller also has a bitch brawl with Baron Boris von Frankenstein’s (Boris Karloff) assistant Francesca that preceded Krystle and Alexis’ pond smackdown by nearly two decades. BTW, Francesca is a drag-worthy hybrid of Christina Hendrix’s figure, Ann-Margret’s hair, Kathleen Turner voice, and Angelina Jolie’s femme fatale fierceness.

Andy Warhol’s Dracula (1974)
Andy Warhol produces, Udo Kier drinks blood and Joe Dallesandro goes shirtless. ‘Nuff said.

Carrie (1976)
Along with Baby Jane, Mommie Dearest and Showgirls, Carrie is one of the films with dialogue most quoted by gay men. Gems like “I can see your dirty pillows,” to a screeching “They’re all gonna laugh at you!” and “They’re called breasts, and every woman has them...” have become part of the secret language of gays. And Carrie’s prom night-mare has become pop culture shorthand on TV shows from Ugly Betty to RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)
New Line Cinema’s second schlep up to Elm Street is bursting at the seams with homoerotic imagery and undertones. It features openly gay actor Mark Patton as Jessie, a teenage boy Freddy Krueger tries to possess in order to leave dreamland and continue his killing spree in the real world.

Even before the film’s writer, David Chaskin, admitted to including the screenplay’s gay subtext in the 2010 documentary Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy, Nightmare 2 had been herald as the ultimate homo-horror flick for years by countless fans.

A film about a boy struggling to repress “something” inside of him would have been enough to brand Nightmare 2as an obvious gay allegory. However, it’s the moments following Jessie’s trek into a gay leather bar—where he discovers his P.E. coach—that rank this film among the gayest of all time. After all, tying up your coach in the locker-room showers and snapping his bare ass with a towel before you kill him from behind will earn you that kind of reputation.

Beetlejuce (1988)
Aside from featuring Alec Baldwin at the height of hotness, Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice has enough camp to be welcome at any homo-Halloween haunt. The film’s quirky style has held up amazingly well since it debuted over 23 years ago, and Winona Ryder’s Lydia Deetz is a queer cinema classic. From the interior decorator played by the late openly-gay actor Glenn Shadix to outrageous musical numbers, there isn’t much about this film that isn’t gay.

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988)
The Queen of Halloween’s first feature film has become a gay camp-classic for all the reasons that made Elvira one of the biggest gay icons of all time. Over-the-top in every way possible, from the costumes and sassy one-liners to the big musical number ending stuffed with hunky shirtless male dancers, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is the Showgirls of Halloween movies.

Hocus Pocus (1993)
This poor film has a bad reputation, and some of it is deserved. The movie is about time-displaced witches who fly on vacuums and sing songs, and the kids who must set things right. But it’s also a delightfully fun bad movie, comes from Disney and director Kenny Ortega (famous for the High School Musical franchise), and stars gay faves Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy (fresh of her stint in Sister Act). No, it’s not brilliant filmmaking, however it works for babysitting, if you’re in the mood for something light, and if you can mix a potion of vodka and… well… anything… to go along with your screening.

Scary Movie (2000)
This send-up of classic horror films has some of the most quotable lines in movie history. Like when Brenda (Regina Hall) picks up a phone call in a packed movie theater:

“Hello? Hey girl! Ah, I'm in the movies! Uh-huh, yeah Shake-a-speare in love! Ohh-ohh! You lying! You lying!”

It’s also got some super snacky guys, including the clueless and closeted Shorty (Marlon Wayans). The joke was never about his orientation but that his denial ran deeper than a killer’s knife, elevating the gay punch line to a new level.

House of Wax (2005)
The brilliant minds behind this remake were quick to exploit the movie’s most marketable moment. Paris Hilton’s now-famous death scene was the furthest thing from a closely guarded plot point, as promotional t-shirts and posters reading “See Paris Die May 6” upstaged the film long before its debut in theaters. The end of Paris is the main reason the film makes this list, but it earns extra points for the inclusion of hotties Jared Padalecki and Chad Michael Murray as well.

The Covenant (2006)
Abercrombie & Fitch goes supernatural in this good warlock vs. bad warlock fantasy/horror flick starring models-turned-actors Steven Straight (10,000 B.C.) and Taylor Kitsch (Friday Night Lights), as well as a pre-shag Chace Crawford. Between that and this picture, do you need any further explanation on why you should rent it?

Piranha (2010)
This knowingly camp remake of the 1978 low-budget Jaws wannabe is more about guffaws than gore, although there’s plenty of the latter. But this version ups the queer factor with Elizabeth Shue’s single-mama-grizzly-sheriff, and Jerry O’Connell’s shirtless porn producer douchebag. Plus, there’s that scene with O’Connell’s penis (SPOILER)... and the piranhas (SPOILER)... doing those things that piranhas do...

Did we mention this movie got a (full) release in 3D?

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