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Tuesday, 23 November 2010

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE "MAN-SHAKE"

According to Urban Dictionary a MAN-SHAKE is described as: A very masculine handshake, using a lumberjack-strength squeeze and a swift, firm up and down pumping action. Now you would think that all this man-on-man action would be easy for me, but it is not! When I go to the barber or meet a hetero-male and we greet each other, I just extend my hand to meet his and let him do all the work. I mean c’mon I don’t the rituals of hetero-men, all I know is that when I greet a homosexual male, we hug or give each other huge greetings. Now I have to deal with the MAN-SHAKE as if we don’t have enough things to deal with as gay men.
Do you remember the days when saying hello to another man was easy? “Hello john.” Oh hello Peter.” Then they shake hands ensuring that the conversation was about to take place. Then one day, someone somewhere decided that a simple handshake wasn’t working OR they wanted to confused gay men like me and as a result we have the evolution of the MAN-SHAKE. I wish I knew who decides these things. Moreover I wish they’d create some sort of instruction manual because, one day we are shaking hands and the next we are doing a version of a secret handshake that we did as little boys.

The MANY different versions of the MAN-SHAKE confuse me, because just when I think I know it, they go and change it! So much for a gay man assimilating huh? The problem I find with MAN-SHAKE(S) is that NO ONE knows which version they are going to get and it makes things VERY awkward. I don’t know about you, but it is VERY awkward when someone wants to do all the maneuvers they do and all you want to do is merely give them a simple handshake. From where I am standing, the MAN-SHAKE looks ridiculous to me, but I guess that is accepted because we live an awkward world. Thankfully we have started moving towards the “fist bump.”  After all, aren’t we gay men EXPERTS @ fisting N’ bumping? 

4 comments:

  1. Okay let me get this right; The Man Shake? WTF? Sounds like some shake a male stripper would perform. In my day STR8 or Gay a handshake was just that a handshake. The firmer the shake the more honest and trustworthy the man or something to that nature.

    I still shake hands with both gay and str8 men and from time to time I'm given hugs by both gay and str8 men, it is just a friendly gesture no more no less, then again sometimes there is an underlined message being sent.

    Now tell me; When I perform this manshake am I to keep my voice in a deep register and stand at attention? Okay no manshakes for me. LOL

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  2. OMG...tell me about,LOL. I've been told be4 I waas doin it wrong, u'd Think I'll kno how 2 do it right being young...I guess not lol

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  3. CHET - IT PROBABLY IS SOMETHING A STRIPPER WOULD PERFORM!

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  4. DONN M. - I RIGHT THERE WITH YOU GUY!

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