¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Thursday, 15 April 2010

¿CALL HIM OUT?

So I was having a conversation with a guy I used to have sex with recently. When I met him I knew he had HIV...there was something about his energy that made me believe so. He had a that died of  meningitis to the brain which was a result from HIV complications. He told me that he had NO idea what caused his lover to die even though EVERYONE knew what he died from! He also told me that he hadn't been tested for more than 5 years because he didn't want to know and that he was afraid to find out. So me being me I decided that I wanted to show him that it was still possible for him to be intimate with another. And after that I kept getting on him about getting tested and he finally gave in and confirmed what I knew and thought he didn't...So he and I was having a conversation about another person that passed on due the same thing that happened to his lover. He told me how the guy stopped taking his meds and just gave up, so I asked him if he ever thought about doing the same and he told me, 'the doctor asked me if I wanted to end up like my lover ' (who was in the hospital bed @ the time)? He said that he told him NO! So then I asked him if the meds he is taking now is the same as he was taking back then and he told me NO! Which means he lied to me about knowing about his status...and I know that I decided to take him on even though I knew had HIV, but do you think I should call him out for lying about not knowing when it was clear he knew he had the disease or should I let that sleeping dog lie?

7 comments:

  1. I think you need to be honest with both him and yourself. Only you know how you truly feel, deep inside. Only you, based on your emotions, can determine your action regarding this. Good luck, my friend!

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  2. Back then, he could be in self denial.... or just plain scared....

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  3. I fully, tottaly , agree with Roger. I think that our lives are always better without slleping dog live. Easy to write but... try to do it !

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  4. By all means he needs to be called out on it, he knew damn well that he was HIV positive and could pass it on to others. I can imagine it is tough to disclose, and I see this in clients and students all the time, they have problems with disclosure or being tested for the virus.

    There are only a hand full of open black gay men and men who have sex with men here in this city and most are HIV positive yet they continue to have sex with men without disclosing. Yes it's tough, but not nearly as hard as one might think to just be honest. Knowing their status allows them to get treatment and health care and go on to live healthy lives.

    I think all of us have dated been with or even entertaining getting with a brotha we know that has the virus. I used to love this brotha that was HIV+, but he had a drug addiction on top of that and that was to much for me to juggle, so I didn't try to get with him, but he was a very nice person. He told me his status.

    So go ahead confront ole boi and see how he responds.

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  5. Wow, that's touchy. The tribal-warrior bitch in me says call him out! I mean, you knew he was sick, and you still were able to extend your heart (and body) to him, he should've been at least able to extend a little honesty your way.

    Though who knows what was going on in his head. Like Cup-o-Noodles said, dude could've been in denial or too scared too admit the truth.

    I guess I'll agree with Roger. Gayte, you need to just follow your own instincts on this. You're smart enough to make the right decision. Though honestly, I don't think calling him out will make either of you feel better.

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  6. As Roger says, it's your call, but I'd leave the sleeping dog lie, he has enough on his plate already.

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  7. ROGER – THANKS…

    CUP-O-NOODLES – I THINK IT IS A COMBO OF BOTH…

    DAYUM – EASY TO WRITE INDEED…

    CHET – I WILL CONFRONT HIM…

    MIKEL – I WILL TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT…

    EDUARDO – I KNOW HE DOES WHICH IS WHY I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO HIM WHEN HE LET IT SLIP THE OTHER DAY…

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