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Friday, 05 March 2010

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: ¿MALE/GAY BONDING?



MALE BONDING is a term that is used in ethology, social science, and in general usage to describe patterns of friendship and/or cooperation in men. In this instance the male species form coalitions in which they mutually support each other. However, when one considers the context of a GAY relationship, MALE BONDING is then seen as the extreme of the two because of its SEXUAL nature. Nonetheless, is there any difference between ¿MALE/GAY BONDING?

I find that when men are drawn to one another they don’t know how to deal with that. So they think THIS MUST BE A GAY SITUATION! Therefore they then hide from LOVE which a QUALITY that is most prolific in human beings. So why do we run from it? WOMEN hold hands all the time in public, they compliment each other AND even go as far as to say that another is sexy. Yet we the MEN, the LEADERS within society run from the MUTUAL RESPECT & LOVE that really should show each other. Why can’t we men look each other in the eye with honesty? There's something about our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup that cries out for intimacy with another. However we decided that this too close for comfort because that would make us GAY! However if we simply use our brains we would realize that EVERYONE come into their sexuality in different ways. Thus the concept of MALE/GAY BONDING shouldn’t be seen in the light in which it is.

FAR IT BE FOR ME TO CHANGE THE CONCEPT OF ANYTHING, MUCH LESS A TOPIC SUCH AS THIS. HOWEVER I FEEL THAT THE CONCEPT OF BONDING IS NOT BEING MET BECAUSE MEN ARE TOO AFRAID OF THEMSELVES TO ALLOW IT TO MATURE TO ITS NATURAL STATE. IT IS FUNNY THAT ALL OF US ARE EGOCENTRICS TO AN EXTENT, YET WHEN WE FOCUS ON OURSELVES, WE LOSE THE REAL PURPOSE OF HUMANITY. FRIENDSHIP IS IMPORTANT FOR ALL OF US. WITH MEN, IT’S A LITTLE DIFFERENT BECAUSE OF INSECURITY THAT FACTORS IN WHEN IT COMES TO ONE’S SEXUALITY & MANLINESS. BONDING IS BONDING BE HOMO/HETERO, MEN HAVE A STRONG NEED TO HAVE MALE FRIENDS. WHY SHOULDN’T A MAN HAVE @ LEAST ONE GOOD BUDDY WHO HE CAN RELATE TO? I DON’T FEEL THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MALE/GAY BONDING. HOWEVER THE TROUBLE COMES IN WHEN MEN WANT TO DEVELOP & CULTIVATE DEEP MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER & SOCIETY JUST WON’T ALLOW THEM TO DO SO. IT IS SAD THAT MANY OF MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO MOVE BEYOND THE SHALLOW CONCEPT OF BONDING BECAUSE THEY CAN’T SEEM TO FIND THE NEED NOT TO SEPARATE SEXUALITY FROM FRIENDSHIP. NOT ONLY DOES THIS MARGINALIZES MEN, IT KEEPS US FURTHER FROM ACHIEVING MALE EMPOWERMENT THAT UNLEASHES THE GREAT POTENTIAL THAT IS INNATE WITHIN ALL OF US.

5 comments:

  1. Excellent point! So sad, yet so sadly true.

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  2. Hello Sir:

    Was having a conversation yesterday about race with a friend and we came to the conclusion that one of the problems in this country's racial problems is lack of exposure. Lack of personal experiences with people of other races, ethnicities etc. that allow stereotypes to stand unchallenged by real contact and interaction. Don't know what the solution might be.

    I think much the same holds true for gay male/straight male bonding. Lack of contact and interaction really stymies the development of bonding. But you know sometimes it just takes courage to reach out and try. Rejection - sure. Always a possibility but every once in a while it just might work.

    Things here in this country are changing - if we can beat back the dumb ass "tea bagger" types and their Republican enablers. (See my post today) But it's taking way to long for me. Have a good day man. Scott

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  3. Ditto, who Scott-tay said!

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  4. Why do you make a point to NOT have hetero male friends?

    Nothing is gained by silence and while much may be lost with exposure I have to agree with the above man.

    You'll never know unless you try.

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  5. ROGER - I KNOW RIGHT!

    SCOTT-TAY - YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT & SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT IF I TOLD MY MALE CO-WORKER ABOUT MY SEXUALITY HE WOULD OKAY WITH IT...

    THOMAS - GOTTA LOVE THAT SCOTT-TAY!

    COGENT ASCENDING - WELL HERE IN THE CARIBBEAN HETERO MEN ARE VERY CLOSED MINDED...YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE THINGS THAT THEY THINK ABOUT GAY MEN.

    ReplyDelete

THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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