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Tuesday, 01 September 2009

7 TYPES OF GAY MEN THAT SCARE THE F&CK OUT OF OTHER GAY MEN

When it comes to GAY men and we see each other, some of us are upfront and honest…and others lie, and we make it SO easy for the rest to hide from the truth. Isn’t it sad that in some ways, the way we treat each other is expected? But I’ve often find that what we shun is an indication of what we are insecure about, and where we harbor shame. WITH THIS IN MIND, LET’S TAKE A LOOK @ 7 TYPES OF GAY MEN THAT SCARE THE F&CK OUT OF THE GAY COMMUNITY:

  • THE NON-BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND: We've all met him. He's cute, smart, funny with a smile or a smell or a groove or an anything that makes you crazy. He seems to dig on you, too. So much so that you go to movies and parties and the park together. You're each others' instant plus ones whenever the occasion arises. He knows your IM password; you've learned the lyrics to his favorite song. All of your free time is his and his yours. It's just you and him unless you're traveling to an event together. His friends like you. Your friends frequently ask to be filled in on the status of your relationship. But, alas, there is nothing to report. Is it a platonic friendship, which can exist even when intimacy is involved? Are you best friends forever? Is he the romantic possibility you've been waiting for? Or, is it too soon to tell? Though this type of man can yield some very good times, he is still one the most feared men out there to GAY men.
 
  • HOT, GAY & SUCCESSFUL: Sometimes you meet a GAY man who immediately engages you. You're taken by his energy, his good looks…his kindness. He talks to you, not @ you. He ask questions, is genuinely interested in finding out about you. You learn about him, he has a GREAT job, has loads of friends, always doing interesting things. And most of all he wants to include you, so what do you? Make the mistake that such a man is TOO good for you so you place him in a class higher than you…which makes sense because why be with someone who you don’t feel is your equal?
 
  • TOO UGLY TO DATE: Can someone tell me why when a friend of ours is talking about some guy that they feel would make a good catch for us, most of us ask how does he look? Now this question isn’t necessarily a bad one, but why does it matter how cute a man is? I’ve heard many say an ugly man sure is sweet in the sack and in my days of playing the field; I NEVER had sex with a man that others deemed ugly to find out if that saying is true. I did it because as far as I see it, intimacy has NO eyes OR beauty. So sad that this is another GAY man that can’t get his because of how other GAY see him…
 
  • THE FAT GAY MAN: There SO many reasons we find ourselves attracted to someone, but when it comes to the GAY man that has a little more to love, we find out just how shallow AND ugly we GAY men can really be. SO many GAY men that don’t carry a six-pack OR can wear skinny jeans are treated like pariahs in the community. Why you may ask? Well it is due to the fact that society has deemed them unfit physically which makes them impossible to love. So can imagine how a GAY man with extra meat on his bone is treated in the body-obsessed gay world? Body image issues and insecurities are widespread and it is killing our community. Why can’t we appreciate the GAY man who wears his weight with pride?
 
  • THE GAY MAN 40 & OVER: So many of us tell ourselves that we will NOT date man over the age of 40. So when this happens we reduce the SMALL community of eligible men even smaller. Such a shame I say because most of us feel that as long as I can get someone younger, that’s better. SO sad that in order to attract guys and prevent automatic dismissal, a hot 50-year-old with a hot pic may choose to say he's 35, so that guys will at least give him a chance. Because he is buying into the general assumption that most GAY men prefer younger men. This definitely speaks to our sexualization of youth, and the insecurity and lack of esteem experienced by older gay men. Sad, isn’t it?
 
  • THE FEMININE GAY MAN: Isn’t it insane how so many put each other in two different categories? Either we are labeled as MASCULINE or FEMININE with the latter being seen as less than. How are GAY men that carry themselves in this manner get to be public enemy #1 is beyond me. How can we continue to live in a community that bashes GAY men that are seen as feminine? What makes him less a man ? Moreover what makes you more of a man? I thought ALL GAY MEN represented something different, something special…something GOD fearing? Why be individuals that are trying to be someone playing the majority?
 
  • THE GAY MAN: You know him, you pray to GOD for him, you talk about him and see him in your dreams…but you don’t want him…Why? Well let’s just say that he is the opposite of what you think a GAY man should be. He LOVES himself, knows his place AND what he wants for the future. He is that GAY man that knows that a smooth road never makes a good driver and a smooth sea never make a good sailor. But you call him a fake, a know-it-all because he can tell you what you are doing that is hurting your soul. Yet in all your negativity he would die for the community. He is  PASSIONATE N’ UNIQUE because he is everything you want him to be AND none of things you feel he is…

23 comments:

  1. When I was in college many, many yeats ago and thought I was straight, blind dates with women that were described as having "a great personality" were shunned like the plague. Looking back on the men I've been sexually involved with, the ones I remember most fondly and vividly were the ones that had "a great personality". And I have had my share of gorgeous model and dancer types. Interesting. There is much more to physical attraction that beauty alone.

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  2. this is pretty good. u can also apply a bunch of these to females . wow I didnt it was common for gay guys to be against feminine guys (might sound naive, but yeah i thought all diverse personalities whether feminine or masculine were accepted).

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  3. Add two more categories: the bisexual and the gay man attached to his family.

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  4. wow....very educational man. Didnt know that there were more than 2 gay types....

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  5. It's strange because, in the gay community, if you exhibit any inkling of femininity (either in your appearances, gestures, or mannerisms)you're automatically deemed as inferior. That's why you see so many men, on dating websites, dressing up like thugs...But when you talk to them on the phone they sound like Malibu beach barbie. They resort to false advertisement just to get a date.

    Personally, I think everyone is just beautiful as they are. That's why I don't pay much attention to the trends in gay culture. Be yourself and love it.

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  6. i totally didnt know that mout feminine gay guys.
    I dunno maybe its because I'm immersed in the dance and art world so its normal for me, and to be honest I don't think I've even met a "masculine" gay man.

    I just love people, gay straight lesbian whatever, as long as you have a beautiful soul I'm cool.

    xoxo

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  7. such a great list of guys, I feel like I have ran into most of these issues throughout my life

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  8. 1st prize to Eduardo Guize for hitting the nail on the head - the gay man attached to his family. I've lost count of the number of guys I've dated who's got his mouth clamped to his mama's titty when it's not wrapped around my dick. Or it's cousins this, auntys that...

    But I'm not a family kinda guy, I have my own life. Shame so many boy out there don't.

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  9. ANONYMOUS - I AM GLAD YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS MORE TO MEN THAN PHYSICAL ATTRACTION...

    BOMBCHELL - YEP MOST GAY MEN SEE FEMININE MEN AS PUBLIC ENEMY #1...


    OYIN - GLAD YOU STOPPED BY...

    EDUARDO - THEY WILL BE IN THE PART II THAT I WILL POST...

    TODDY - I KEEP TELLING THEM TO BE THEMSELVES BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN...HOPEFULLY YOU CAN GET THROUGH...

    DOPE FIEND - THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE, BUT...

    WONDER MAN - WE ALL HAVE...

    GARCON - NICE TO SEE IN THESE PARTS...

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  10. SIR YELLOW BONE - I AM GLAD YOU THINK SO...

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  11. MISS SHALLOTTE - I HOPED YOU WOULD...

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  12. What a great post. I especially related to the part about the fat gay man, becuase I have more to love myself. I know from experience that we fat, thick, heavy, etc. men are the best. We know how to have fun, can carry ourselves and our weight well, and we are great to cuddle up to on those long fall and winter nights that are right around the corner. :-)

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  13. I always hate getting into that non-boyfriend boyfriend situations. Because we didnt take it further theres always that what if factor and i hate it...as much as i hate to say it but the whole yestergay [40+ year old gay man] actually scares me. I think when i get to that age i want to be content with it and not hanging out at 708 when i should be doing something better

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  14. wow gaytekeeper u nailed it....this post really exposes alot bout the gay community:)

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  15. YES BROTHA AT THE HOT GAY AND SUCCESSFUL! PERSONALLY I LOVE OLDER MEN SO I DONT HAVE THOSE HANGUPS. SOME FEMININE DUDES ARE REALLY SWEETHEARTS AND NOT ALWAYS MESSY. U HAVE TO GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST BEFORE JUDGING THEM. THE GAY MAN IS ALWAYS THE BEST AND THE ONE WE ALL SHOULD BE STRIVING TO BE FOR OURSELVES.

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  16. JAMAR - I COULD SEE YOU DATING AN OLDER MAN...

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  17. And those of us with physical challenges don't have a snowball's chance in hell...

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  18. As an effeminate gay man over 40, I'm rather in trouble.

    Hammmmmm ...

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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