¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 17 July 2009

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: CHOOSING NOT TO BE A TARGET (EMOTIONAL ATTACKS)


WHEN I READ THIS, I REALIZED THIS ENTRY WAS POSTED BECAUSE I HAD TO SYSTEMATICALLY TELL MYSELF NOT TO TAKE OTHERS INTO MY SELF-ESTEEM. YOU SEE I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE SO MANY WANT TO MAKE THE TARGET OF WHATEVER PLAGUED THEM BECAUSE I EITHER GAVE OPINION THAT THEY ASKED FOR OR THEY THOUGHT I WAS BETTER THAN THEM…EITHER WAY I FOUND IT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT NOT TO TAKE SUCH EMOTIONAL ATTACKS PERSONAL & NOW @ THIS STAGE IN MY LIFE, I CAN SAY THAT I AM SO GLAD THAT I CHOSE TO WALK THIS PATH…
Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It's important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behavior isn't as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions. If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone's behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong, and you aren't responsible for people's feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you-whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard-you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them. You cannot control other people's emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.


11 comments:

  1. It gets more complicated when you DID something wrong and you're somehow responsible for their feelings, even if probably you don't deserve such a hurtful reaction. Anyhow, I agree, you must keep the verbal violence from escalating.

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  2. Hey I can understand how many people emotional attack others. I always say its because they are envy of us...You know I never was one to worry about what others say!

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  3. EDUARDO - YEP IT IS ALL ABOUT KEEPING YOUR COOL...

    OYIN - GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT OTHERS SAY...

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    ReplyDelete
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    ASIAN GUY - YOU MY PERMISSION TO PUT MY BLOG ON YOUR LIST...

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  7. Man, it can be difficult not taking on the #$% of others. I just had a scene yesterday that really hurt my feelings from my best friend. I did not get into it but chose to let it pass over me 'cause I was not interested in drawing it out (but I was still hurtin').She later apologized because she knew she had hurt my feelings. She said she only made a stink because her feelings had been hurt, so she was acting out of anger and drew me into the maelstrom.

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  8. ASIANTEENAGER - SURE YOU CAN...

    THOMAS - I KNOW IT IS HARD...BUT WE MUST TRY TO AVOID THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...

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  9. I could not have said this better. There is a way to say “anything” especially when thoughts or opinions are requested or summons. Sometimes you have to meet people where they are and that is often achieved best when you are just as good of a listener as you are a speaker. As usual, great post!

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  10. SIR-YELLOW-BONE - I AM GLAD YOU APPRECIATE THE POST...

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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