¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Thursday, 22 February 2007

THE THING ABOUT BEING ME (I WISH)

Believe what you want to believe about GOD’S creation of me, but I know for a fact that I was born this way. However I wish I wasn’t…just your above average 20-ish, pseudo-revolutionary, trying to make my mark on this world. I wish that being with me wasn’t the survival of the fittest. I wish that I wasn’t hated by some, loved by many, envied by all, wanted by plenty, intrigued by the unusual, fascinated by the original, and still yet impressed by nothing. I am the product of a stifling society, suffocating between walls of rules and stereotypes. Slowly bent out of shape the triangle peg forced into the square hole. I am a man struggling with confines and rebelling against constraints. I am a poet, a lover, an emotional wreck. My own worst enemy…A homosexual without apology! OH HOW I WISH...

I wish that it didn’t matter to me that I AM WHO I AM but it did. For the longest time it mattered to me and I've come to understand that no matter WHAT I am is who I am meant to be and I wish I felt the need to theorize about it. I wish that I still felt a need to blame my SEXUALITY on something; make it easy to explain to people…GOD HOW I HOPE UPON HOPE! To bad I realize I didn’t need to make excuses for it. I wish I knew that HOMOSEXUALITY needed to explained the same way HETEROSEXUALITY needed to be. I wish knew that the only thing that needed to be EXCUSED were those that HATED on me for my SAME-SEX-PRONE mentality…OH HOW I WISH

I wish I hadn't declare myself a human being then it would be easier for you to have your way with me. I wish that my presence here on this planet didn't make you face yourself and things you hate. Funny how I wish you didn't have to question YOUR SEXUALITY when seek mine. Funny how I make YOU SEE that YOUR HEART is dark and cold. Funny how I make your life interesting because focusing on YOUR OWN is too damn boring. I just wish that YOU would be MAN enough to step to me and tell that you want me to sample you; make YOU a MAN. I WISH YOU DIDN'T DESIRE ME SO...OH HOW I WISH that...I DIDN'T DECLARE MYSELF IN THIS WORLD THEN YOU COULD LIVE WHIT SUCH EASE AND THE LIES WOULDN'T MATTER...OH HOW I WISH!

I just wish the world was like my little neighborhood and my friends, helping and getting along, interracial love between gays and straights, ethnic groups sharing with ethnic groups. I wish I lived in a world where people not afraid to put forth love or care. I wish it didn’t matter if you are GAY/BI/STRAIGHT. I wish that selfishness, gluttony and destructive way of living weren’t so prevalent around me. I wish that I didn’t live in a society that claims to be Christian, yet seem to fail to follow Christ's single commandment to love God and each other. I wish that the evil trio of HYPOCRISY, BIGOTRY and SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS wasn’t the driving force that it is. I wish that the so-called Christians couldn’t use it to keep me away from Christian faith…OH HOW I WISH!

The WHORE in me…OH HOW SWEET to be a MAN that can separate SEX from LOVE…but I do wish that I wasn’t such a BULL and fucked a COW just once! I wish that I couldn’t dispose of another easily…I wish that when HE is sitting on the edge of my bed contemplating what he wants that I wish I cared. I wish that when I asked if HE wanted me to F&CK him that I really cared if he wants to or not…I wish that I wasn’t the MAN putting anther between a rock and hard place. I wish that I couldn’t relate to BLANCHE from the GOLDEN GIRLS, SAMANTHA from SEX AND THE CITY & EDIE from DESPARATE HOUSEWIVES. I wish at this point in my life I cared that I am viewed as a WHOREGUESS I SHOULD MAKE A BIGGER WISH SINCE I DON’T GIVE A F&CK! OH HOW I WISH

Beloved...OH HOW I WISH THE LORD LOVED ME! It's amazing to me how I am made to feel that I don't have GOD's LOVE because of who I am as a SEXUAL BEING. I find it interesting how society lives as if GOD didn't know have this all as apart of HIS BIGGER plan and GRAND design. I wish I didn't love the fact that I live in a place where people are ignorant to many facts. I wish I didn't LOVE the LORD and didn't LOVE ME back. I wish that HE could snap his fingers @ any given moment and change my FATE. I wish that HE gave a damn that HE made a F&CKED GAY MAN...I wish that GOD could come and do HIS job so that the others out here could stop PLAYING HIM...OH HOW I WISH!

Out of sight, out of patience...out of my mind...OH HOW I WISH...I wasn't drowning in a sea of anarchy wondering if all the thing I've seen were really happening. I wish we didn’t have Politicians on a mission, building themselves up only to come crashing down. I wish that justice wasn’t a fading light and that the world around me was getting to scary. I wish that our PRIME MINISTER would take a moment and realize that he actually suppose to lead this country. I wish the folks here on this island didn’t dance to beat of lies and untruths…OH HOW I WISH!

It is strange to think; I haven't seen you or your smile…guess I know that you are only here to trick me. You exist only to fool me and make me believe that you care about me…I wish that I could see the new moon and not you. Oh God how I wish for sunrises and sunsets and not your face. I wish the pieces of my broken heart weren’t so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I wish you miss me like the sun misses the flower; in the depths of winter. I wish you knew how hope guides me that is what gets me through the day and the night. I wish you knew how my walls were stripped away with the touch of your hand, and my armor was laid to rest with a kiss from your very lips. I wish you knew that all the remains of me is my mind and my soul and it is with that I write to you. I know the sun will rise in the morning and set tomorrow night, but I wish that before the sun seizes to rise and the moon seizes to set that I will gaze my eyes upon you. I can’t wait for the night when I can see the stars dance in your eyes…LOVE OH HOW I WISH!

So they tell me that SEX with a WOMAN is all the RAGE! It's unlike anything else in this world and nothing can compare to it. Funny how I've tasted it and don't recall my OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD experience. HMMM I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS? I wish I really cared that PUSSY don't mean a F&CK to me. I wish you were my flower of lust found between your legs. I wish that the exotic whispers and taboo looks turned me and got my D!CK hard. I wish you could reach my sexuality and tease all the fantasies in my mind. I wish that I longed to touch your imagination, feel your breath taking us beyond night's darkness to a passion where nothing else matters, but your PUSSY! I wish that within you I could discover a love so deep, so sweet that our soul gives birth to the spirit answer that we are…OH HOW I WISH!

I am ready for LOVE, pity it isn't ready for me. I have no choice but to sit and wait my turn; I remember those days when I wanted it so badly that forced it upon myself and thought good, now I have it! Funny how I didn't have it afterall, funny how things turned out, funny how life takes you where you need to be and not where you want to be...All I wish for was him to come and take my hand and lead the way. I wish he’d whisper softly in my ear, all those things I want to hear. I wish he’d kiss my lips and touch my skin; bring out passions deep within. I wish he’d pull me close and hold me near; take away my pain and fear. I wish he knew that in the darkness of the night how I wanted him to be my beacon and shine his light. I wish he’d give me wings so I can fly; for I can soar when he’s nearby. I so wish that he would enter my heart, break down the wall; it's time for me to watch it fall. I wish that he could see that I've been a prisoner and that only HE can break my chains and set me free. I wish he’d strip me of my armor tight and I hope he knows I won’t put up a fight. I wish he’d release my soul held deep within because I am ready to let LOVE in…OH HOW I WISH!

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