¿CHUELLAS EN TIEMPO?

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Two young lovers, Walking on the sand,

Gazing at each other, Talking hand in hand,

The prints they leave behind them,

Marking memories of the past,

The long beach laid before them,

Hoping love will last,

The ocean captures the footprints,

And erases them from the shore,

Taking with it remembrances,

And leaving them with more,

Time has passed,

And before you know it innocence fades,

And the fantasies are done,

Now I am back on the beach,

alone, watching and waiting,

For the love that hadn't grown,

I walk along the ocean,

Two footprints, not four,

Wondering where the laughter went,

Why he didn't love me more,

I stop to sit,

And draws his name in the sand,

A celestial stranger comes along,

And reaches out a hand,

Hesitantly I takes it,

And he listens to my cries,

He's been there before,

He's heard many lies,

he took my hand,

And I follow, not knowing why,

Love will always be reborn again,

Even if it may die,

I am more cautious than before,

And as I look back at the footprints,

I smiled seeing not two, but four,

This time will be different,

my heart trying to say,

Something magical happened,

I felt it the first day,

Something clicked when they touched,

A jolt from inside,

I knew he'd be there always,

I imagine its twenty years later,

And his love for me,

Is now even greater,

He looks at me like the first time we met,

And despite all the years gone by,

We can never forget,

Those four special footprints,

That are never washed away,

They'll stay forever on my heart,

Until their dying day.

CHECKING IN WITH THE HEART

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Every day we experience a magical twilight between our dreams and waking state. During this brief period of time, our minds still remember that all things are possible. We can smoothly transition into our physical world without losing a sense of hope when we check in with our heart center first, before we even get out of bed. Our heart center is the link between body and spirit, instinct and inspiration. It doesn't take long to hold a thought of loving gratitude for the heart that beats within us. In a mere moment we can review all that we want to accomplish in the light of love. When we get into the habit of beginning our day from the heart, all of our activities glow with the infusion of conscious intent and all interactions are done with compassion. We can restart our day right now by imagining how love and inspiration feel. As light glows from our heart center, radiating out through our bodies into the space around us, any feelings of stress or frustration seem to melt away. Now, we see each person we encounter as fellow travelers in the journey of life, and every activity becomes part of a spiritual partnership. As conscious participants in the cycle of giving and receiving, we share our light with others as we become enlivened ourselves, with our heart leading the way. In the intersection where our body and soul meet, our physical heart beats in time with the rhythm of the universe. It does the physical work of supplying our body with life force without our attention, but for its spiritual work, we need to be conscious. When we concentrate on its rhythm and glowing light, we remember that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Then we know that we can choose any time to check in with our heart center, and in doing so, experience the joy of being in love with life.

THE POWER OF THE TONGUE

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Death and life are in the power of the tongue—Proverbs 18:21

The tongue has great power to set ablaze. It can enflame false accusations or truthful encouragement, prideful bombast or humble thanksgiving, bitter hatred or forgiving mercy. Let us consider our speech. Do we use our tongues to build one another up in love, focusing on the gifts and virtues that another possesses, or do we use our tongues to tear one another down, focusing on the weaknesses and vices that our neighbor appears to have?

WHERE R U?

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For all those grown up men hiding in their closets and only coming out every now and then to go into the night and hide as shadows of the subtle light show on the dance floor and in the dark corners of the clubs to be gay, where are you in the light of day. We know that you're out there, because we saw you in the clubs. And those of you who don't go out, where are you? What about you, the ones on the Internet, on the chat phone lines, the ones that just go to work, watch television, go to the movies every now and then and public events, plays, local festivals, concerts, restaurants? Where are all the decent men that are looking for me? Where are all you men, those of you who want a relationship, who don't want to grow old alone? I'm fun , I'm adventurous, I'm spontaneous, I'm lovable, I'm caring, , I'm intelligent, I'm independent, I'm drama-free, game-free. I'm sitting here, alone, trying to figure out how to get to you, for you to get to me. I want to be where you are. I understand, you need to be in the closet, not because you might lose your job, there are recourses for that and not because your parents are paying your tuition, you've been out of schools for years, and not because you are still financially dependent on them, you have a good job (with benefits), or your own business, you're you own man. Although you say that you shouldn't have to tell people who you sleep with, you didn't really reduce your reason down to it being about sex, did you, like they do? I want you to want me. Because you are not out, I am in, waiting for you to come out, to come out wherever you are. I’m hurting because of you and although I shouldn't hold you accountable for my being alone, don't you want to meet me, don't you want someone to love, to come home to, to share your life with, to be the man in your life? I’m here and you’re over there, how do we get together if you’re not around. Shouldn’t you take some responsibility too? I know that you are looking for me as well…

私は火を通って歩いた

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I did not know His love before,

the way I know it now.

I could not see my need for Him,

my pride would not allow.

I had it all, without a care,

the Self-sufficient lie.

My path was smooth, my sea was still,

not a cloud was in my sky.

I thought I knew His love for me,

I thought I'd seen His grace,

I thought I did not need to grow,

I thought I'd found my place.

But then the way grew rough and dark,

the fire clouds quickly rolled;

The waves began to rock my ship,

my anchor would not hold.

The ship that I had built myself

was made of foolish pride.

It fell apart and left me bare,

with nowhere else to hide.

I had no strength or faith to face

the trials that lay ahead,

And so I simply prayed to Him

and bowed my weary head.

His loving arms enveloped me,

and then He helped me stand.

He said, you still must face this fire,

but I will hold your hand.

So through the dark and lonely night

He guided me through pain.

I could not see the light of day

or when the fire might wane.

Yet through the aches and endless tears,

my faith began to grow.

I could not see it at the time,

but my light began to glow.

I saw God's love in brand new light,

His grace and mercy, too.

For only when all self was gone

could God' love shine through.

It was not easy in the fire,

I sometimes wondered, why

At times I thought, I can't go on.

I'd hurt, and doubt, and cry.

But God never left my side,

He guided me each day.

Through pain and strife,

through fire and flood,

He helped me all the way.

And now I see as never before

how great His love can be.

How in my weakness He is strong,

how God cares for me!

He worked it all out for my good,

although the way was rough.

He only sent what I could bear,

and then He cried, Enough!

He raised His hand and said, be still!

He made the fire clouds cease.

He opened up the gates of joy

and flooded me with peace.

I saw His face now clearer still,

I felt His presence strong,

I found anew His faithfulness,

He never did me wrong.

Now I know more fires will come,

but only for my good,

For pain and tears have helped me grow

as nothing else ever could.

I still have so much more to learn

as God works in me;

If in the fire I'll love Him more,

that's where I want to be!

STROKIN' THE FIRE WITHIN...AWAKENIN' THE INNER WARRIOR

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There are certain personality archetypes that we all carry within us, such as the inner child, the lover, and the mother. Some of these archetypes present themselves strongly, while others lay fallow. For example, there is an inner warrior in each one of us, but in some of us this warrior is under developed to the point that we are unable to stand up for ourselves, even when necessary.There can be many reasons for this. We may have grown up with a parent whose warrior aspect was overdeveloped, and we responded by repressing ours completely. On the other hand, we may have grown up with parents in whom this aspect was dormant, so we never learned to awaken it in ourselves. A warrior is someone with the strength to stand up for what he or she believes; someone who perseveres in the face of challenges and obstacles; someone who speaks and acts in the service of an ideal; someone who protects those who aretoo weak to fight for themselves. Regardless of the reasons for an under developed inner warrior, you may begin to notice the lack of its fiery, protective presence and wish to awaken it. You may need to stand up for yourself in a certain relationship or situation, or you may have a vision you want torealize, and you know you will need the courage, energy, and strength of a warrior to succeed. Similarly, if you find that you often feel scared, anxious, or powerless, rousing this sleeping ally may be just the antidote you need. One excellent way to cultivate the presence of your inner warrior is to choose a role model who embodies the qualities of bravery, strength, and vitality. This person could be a character in a myth, movie, or book, or a historical or livingperson you admire. Simply close your eyes each day and contemplate the qualityof energy that attracts you to this person, knowing that the same potentiallives within you. Confirm for yourself that you are capable of handling this energy responsibly, and stoke the fire of your own inner courage.

L'HOMME GAY DE CES DAMES?

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I DEFY THE GAY STEREOTYPE! I AM 'THE GAY LADY'S MAN' I am open, honest and up front. Over the years of living this life I've met many females, most are clueless and dumb founded by this ‘lifestyle.’ I have come to realize that WOMEN in our society perpetuate the HOMOPHOBIA we mostly see around us. Think about it...MEN are afraid to appear soft or give compliments to another MAN, even though women do it all the time...FUCKED UP I know.

However it's a fact of life and here in the Bahamas the HOMOSEXUALS OR SISSIES as they call us are the worst things any man could be. This is terrifying to MEN in society at large, so I had this crazy notion that if I can show the world one female at a time that we are not what the world makes us out to be, we are in fact important to the survival of the world. They know that if there were a typical gay man (and they know there isn’t any) they would expect that man to be what they can control and put in a certain category of society. Yes, there are those in our midst who are self-destructive, who make headlines, who appears not to have 12 brain cells left. But they are NOT the norm. The norm is the gay couple she encounters while shopping at the supermarket, arguing over what to cook for dinner on Sunday. The norm is the gay male that works full-time, lives with a roommate, and is working towards his C. P. A. 

I am of the opinion that every female should have a gay male friend or roommate in her life. No one else will be able to make you laugh, cry, or wonder; no one else will make you want to hug him one minute and then shake your head at him the next. Who else will spend five minutes deciding which pair of shoes is best from the five he has in his closet? Who else will know what movie to see or what play is hot right now? Who else will know everything going on in the neighborhood? The ladies love gay men because we survive and thrive. We take what society has thrown at us and learn how to adapt. We had to develop a sense of self early on in life because there were no role models, no outside guidance to help shape who we are as men. I don’t know about a lot of gay men, but figured it out for myself, and developed a unique and wonderful existence.

I am secure enough to work 9 to 5 and then come home and throw on a tight pair of jeans and shirt and head to the local GAY BAR. I am able to cross lines quickly and effortlessly because growing up I felt already on the outside of what was normal. I got to, and get to, redefine what it is to be a normal man. I incorporate things masculine and things feminine all in one--caring with strength, compassion with male arrogance, blatant sexuality with the need for emotional connection--all wrapped up in a package that usually far more put together than that of their heterosexual counterparts. Yes, the ladies love me/us and I LOVE being a gay man! If we weren’t gay, they would never been able to LOVE AND MAKE LOVE TO THEIR HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS ETC. & THAT WOULD BE A TRAGIC SHAME! I feel that through the power of the bond that we have with these ladies that we can strip down the politics, the pride, the hype and hoopla and remember what it is we love most, why we’re fighting the battles, why we’re trying to win the war. Being gay has been so politicized, so scrutinized, so sterilized at times, that many forget what being gay is all about. I FEEL THAT WE ALL SHOULD TRY TO BECOME A GAY LADY'S MAN.

SEEING Y'R PERFECTION

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We are each born into this world with unique gifts. Within us is a glimmer ofthe divine, a light that can potentially make the world a more beautiful place. But in many, that light lies dormant, snuffed out by fears and feelings of inadequacy. To spark it is to attract attention, face the possibility ofrejection or the responsibility of success, and risk being labeled immodest. Yet when we undermine the light by hiding our aptitudes and quashing our dreams, we deny ourselves and others a wealth of experiences. Your abilities are a part of who you are and when you take pride in them, you affirm the love, esteem, and trust with which you view yourself. Moreover, as you express the light within,you grant others permission to do the same, freeing them to explore their own talents. For some, we are taught to hide our light from the world since childhood. Relatives caution us that the professions associated with our aptitudes are unattainable. Our peers may be envious of our skills and thus overly critical of the activities we instinctively enjoy. And authority figures admonish us to be humble and avoid showing off. But there is a vast chasm that separates those who let their light shine and those who seek only to draw attention to themselves.When you dare to share your light with the world, the beauty and perfection of your soul become clearly visible. You become a whole being-the literal embodiment of your vast potential. Whether you are a wonderful dancer, a first-rate cook, quick with numbers, or a natural negotiator, you'll come to understand that you do the world no favors when you hold yourself back. If you have hidden your light for so long that it has shrunk to an ember, make a list of everything you do well, however impractical, silly, or seemingly inconsequential. Then ask yourself how you can positively utilize those abilities in your daily life. The gifts you were born with were not granted toyou arbitrarily. While you may never discover what impact your light has had onothers, you can be certain that when you embrace your talents and share themwith others, you will spread illumination in the world.

CRITIQUE PENSEZ: LAISSEZ-LES MANGER LE GÂTEAU...

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In modern cultures today, as far as the business world is concerned I feel that we as Bahamians are as confused as a child in a candy store! Hence being the job chameleon that I am I have noticed an alarming trend within our very own business arena. I take issue with the way businesses are ran. The level of unprofessionalism that goes on is mind blowing and doesn’t foster a positive image for companies and it does nothing to make employees responsible. So the company that I just left certainly is no different from the others that I have worked at in the past. I use to think that it was me; I use to believe that because I wanted an environment that operated on policy and procedure that I was crazy. How dare I want to work in place that places a high importance on staff; how dare I want to work in place that knows that a happy customer is definitely a repeat customer. I find that the structure I seek on the jobs I’ve had wasn’t there and that I had to make a decision sink or swim. So I found it interest that my time at DHL (Bahamas) Limited was no different from the other places I’ve worked and is no different from lack of proper professionalism that was abscent from other places here in the Bahamas. So you can image me, just graduate with AA in Accounting and getting a phone call from the Managing Director of the company that he wanted to interview me for the Chief Financial Controller’s desk. I thought ok, interesting couldn’t hurt to see what this is about. After getting there we had a long conversation, talking about all the things that the company was about and what it can do for me; however it was revealed that I needed to have BA in Accounting to sit behind the desk of CFO. I thought no problem, I can work and show them what I can do and I will be behind that desk in no time. Funny how the best laid plans don’t always work out the way you think it should…After about a month on the job of endless asking about my job description and company manual, I have come to the conclusion that my mind was rape, violated and penetrated with thoughts of a company that couldn’t deliver. I sat and wonder if a company can’t provide it employees with a job description can this company have a vision? Can this company know where it wants to go? Do they have proper systems in place to foster growth for the company and employees? How can this company not realize that has to be a training system and mentoring process designed to build commitment? How do they expect to help employees maintain focus as they build their business? I am that crazy for thinking and believing that this type of company knows how it got to be where it is and knows where it wants to go? These questions made me question this type of management style within the organization. This type of behavior cannot help but be Bahamian-inspired. What other way do we know as a people? Unless Bahamians change their thinking, we will continue to have places like this in our society. It’s sad that in this society blacks are not used to having power; they abuse their employees and do whatever they want with no recourse. At DHL the management team believes that an environment is only as professional as YOU make it. Well I don’t disagree with that notion I can’t help but wonder how management plays a role in this little exercise within the company. Am I crazy for thinking that it should start from the top and work its way down? Am I wrong for thinking that when employees curse out each other in front of clients that management should see this as a serious offense to the company? Shouldn’t these things be addressed? I guess that as an employee that gets lost in the shuffle I can only get what I am being paid for. I can’t expect things that are so simple to come my way, things that should be in place. So again I realize that I am climbing a corporate ladder that is leaning against the wrong wall. Hence this young Bahamian man whose career motto is ‘yes I can, whatever it takes’ has to pack up his bag seek employment elsewhere. Even though I know I am perfectionist to a fault, I know that there are not perfect places and perfection is not what I seek. I simply want a company that can recognize good employees when they have them and try to whatever it takes to them. Don’t tell me that you will support my pursuit of my college education then don’t. Please don’t’ tell me that you hired me despite what others feel about what my SEXUALITY is. Don’t tell me that I let you down because I didn’t give my all when you gave me nothing. I am well aware that I am in a war; it’s me against the system, me going against Bahamians that love the easy road and an easy life…Whoever wins will ultimately determine whether this war will bring about some change, can this war finally wake up Bahamians? Can they finally get up and go to a job because they love it? Can they not see their place of employment as something to do in maintain? Can they seek to live while they are alive?

I AM JUS' WALKING THROUGH

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When a door opens, walk through it. Trust that the door has opened for a reason and you have been guided to it. Sometimes we have a tendency to over analyze or agonize over the decision, but it is quicker to simply go through the door and discover what's there as that's the only way to know. Even if it doesn't seem right at first, opening this door may lead to another door that will take us where we need to go. Doors open when the time is right for us to enter a new space, metaphorically speaking, and we can have faith that walking through is the right thing to do. Sometimes we linger in the threshold because we are afraid of leaving our old life for a life we know nothing about. We may have voices inside of our heads that try to hold us back or people in our lives saying discouraging things. These voices, internal and external, are known as threshold spirits, and they express all the fears and doubts that arise at the beginning of a new life. Nevertheless, none of these voices can hold us back, and they will fall silent as soon as we cross the threshold. There are many doors that open in the course of our lives, leading us into new relationships, jobs, friendships, and creative inspirations. Our lives up to this point are the result of all the doors we have walked through, and our continued growth depends on our willingness to keep moving into new spaces. Every time we walk through an open door, we create a sense memory that encourages us to move into the new fearlessly. When we enter the new space, we almost always feel a thrill and a new feeling of confidence, in ourselves and in the universe. We have stepped across the threshold into a new life.

TRUSTING Y'R GUT...

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Gut feelings earn their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known. A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or avibrant zing when your body approves, can guide you reliably at times when logicfails. Sometimes, when logic prevails, we ignore our gut and live to regret it, understanding later that a rational approach is only one way of determining whatis going on in a situation and how we should react. Our gut resides in the neighborhood of our solar plexus and the third chakrajust above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. Many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies. We may take shallow breaths that never reach this vital nexus that is the source of our empowerment. It is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change. When ourpower center is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had said something we were only able to phrase later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on an opportunity we didn't see until it was past. In order to utilize your power center, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly. On the exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly. When you empty completely, you release stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with fresh, nourishing breath. The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the more clear and communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them.

DISPELLING DRAMA

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There are scores of people in the world who seem to be magnets for calamity. They live their lives jumping from one difficult situation to the next, surrounded by unstable individuals. Some believe themselves victims of fate and decry a universe they regard as malevolent. Others view their chaotic circumstances as just punishments for some failing within. Yet, in truth, neither group has been fated or consigned to suffer. They are likely unconsciously drawing drama into their lives, attracting catastrophe through their choices, attitudes, and patterns of thought. Drama, however disastrous, can be exciting and stimulating. But the thrill of pandemonium eventually begins to frustrate the soul and drain the energy of all who embrace it. To halt this process, we must understand the root of our drama addiction, be aware of our reactions and be willing to accept that a serene, joyful life need not be aboring one. Many people, so used to living in the dramatic world they create, feel uncomfortable when confronted with the prospect of a lifetime of peace and contentment. The drama in their lives serves multiple purposes. Upset causes excitement, prompting the body to manufacture adrenaline, which produces a pleasurable surge of energy. For those seeking affection in the form of sympathy, drama forms the basis of their identity as a victim. And when drama is familiar, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a key role in the established family dynamic. The addiction to drama is fed by the intensity of the feelings evoked during bouts of conflict, periods of uncertainty, and upheaval. Understanding where the subconscious need for drama stems from is the key to addressing it effectively. Journaling can help you transfer this need from your mind onto a benign piece of paper. After repeated writing sessions, your feelings regarding the mayhem, hurt feelings, and confusion often associated with drama become clear. When you confront your emotional response to drama and the purpose it serves in your life, you can reject it. Each time you consciously choose not to take part in dramatic situations or associate with dramatic people, you create space in your inner being that is filled with a calm and tranquil stillness and becomes an asset in your quest to lead a more centered life.

RECEIVING WITH GRACE...ACCEPTING COMPLIMENTS...

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Many of us find it difficult to accept compliments but easy to believe the slightest criticism. Today, right now, let's make a choice to fully accept compliments as we would a gift. Sincere compliments are gifts of praise. They are kudos given for wise choices or accomplishments or perhaps for just letting your light shine. There is no reason not to accept the gift of a kind word, butsome of us argue against them, even giving reasons why they aren't true. If we visualize the energy of a compliment, we would see beautiful, shining, positive energy being sent from the giver. That energy, if accepted graciously, would brighten our personal energy field. Our gratitude then returns to thegiver as warm, fuzzy, glowing energy, completing an even circuit of good feelings. But if we reject a compliment, what could have been a beautiful exchange becomes awkward and uncomfortable, making it a negative experience instead. Misplaced modesty can ruin the joy of sharing this connection with another person. But we can accept a compliment and still be modest by simplysaying "thank you." However, if compliments are rejected due to a lack of self-esteem, then the first step would be to start believing good things about yourself. Try giving yourself compliments in the mirror. Beyond the initial feelings of silliness, you will notice how good it feels and can watch the smile it puts on your face. The next step would be to see how it feels to give compliments to others. Notice how great you feel when you've made anotherperson's face brighten and how differently you feel when the gift you've offeredis rejected. Having experienced all sides, you will be ready to play along fully and willingly. We are our harshest critics. When we accept compliments, we are reminded thatothers see us through different eyes. All living beings crave positive attention, and we all deserve to have positive energy shared with us. Perhaps ifwe happily and gratefully accept compliments, we will give others permission to do so as well.

IF...

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Do you know what image you portray? Do people stare at you when you walk into a room? And how long do they stare? When people are introduced to you, do they look you up and down nervously or do they have pleasant smiles on their faces? All of the answers to these questions can provide cues as to whether your general image is usually in the winner's circle or the loser's circle. I ALWAYS MAKE SURE THAT WHEN I MEET SOMEONE, IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME THAT THEY MEET THE 'REAL ME' AND NOT MY REPRESENTATIVE. I wonder why would people say ‘IMAGE IS EVERYTHING’ when there are persons out there that don’t give a FUCK about how they are perceived. Not that I feel that how one conducts him or herself is dependent on what they do in the public eye, but there should @ least be some sort of decency involved. I find it very interesting how we as human beings take others into our self-esteem as if they behavior (or lack thereof) is tied to them. I feel that we all want to display a good image. Some of us change outfits, we get our hair cut, we pamper and primp ourselves, we shop, we dry clean, we press and we steam. However, this doesn’t necessarily make better image. Why is that? My theory is that we don't seek to enrich our lives with the things that foster a positive healthy image. Coupled with the fact that most of us don’t share energies with persons that can enhance our lives, makes me wonder if image really matters…So ask yourself this, does the image you project have more to do with emulating someone else than it does with saying something about who you are? Moreover, do you even know what you want to project? Because if you don't know the answer to these questions how are you going to take yourself to the next level? When you stand in front of a mirror and you genuinely like what you see staring back at you, you can be 100% sure that you do indeed know how important it is to have an well balanced image. This comes from the inside, don’t let anyone define you or categorize you. Damn what anybody else thinks!

SACRED SENTINELS...ASSEMBLING Y'R LIGHT TEAM

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Each of us, whether we realize it or not, moves through life in the company of beings whose task is to watch over us. These ancestors, spirit guides, angels, guardians, and ascended masters designated to serve as protectors and guides take pleasure in their roles yet cannot assist us without first being asked. Since the origins of our sacred sentinels differ, we may choose whom we call upon for help based on the situation at hand. However, in certain circumstances, particularly those in which time is of the essence or there is the potential for harm, we may feel the need to surround ourselves with our entire complement of benevolent, watchful guardians at a moment's notice. To do so, a great shortcutis to create and assemble a light team-a group of spirit helpers who will come to our aid when we utter a simple word or phrase. The creation of a light team begins with the dedication of the words that willserve as a shortcut in your time of distress, signaling to your sentinels that you are requesting their support. Meditation, at an altar or otherwise, can help you attract their attention, affording you an opportunity to articulate your desire that they work in tandem in certain instances. Creating a short ceremonyin which you surround yourself with objects you associate with the helpers youwish to assign to your light team can ensure that those beings are in attendance as you designate your shortcut. Creating this shortcut is simply a tool. Youcan employ "light team" as your rallying cry or any other words you feel comfortable using. The numerous guides and guardians that see to your welfare will accept your choice gladly and respond instantaneously when called. Your light team will be there to assist you in those dangerous, chaotic, or confounding moments when you don't have the time, energy, or opportunity to center yourself and meditate on individual sentinels. You can also call upon them when seeking guidance that originates from a variety of perspectives. Whether the support they provide comes in the form of guidance or wisdom, their combined presence will give you a sense of security that strengthens you and reminds you that you are never alone.

PULL & BLOW...THE SWEET NECTAR OF THE GODS

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God’s Gift A dick, An organ surrounded by sensitive skin

That's smooth and sometimes hairless. Testicles on either side; The taste, the smell, the feel… Oh GOD what a perfect specimen, Makes a MAN salivate, As it uncoils when release from his underwear. Some men fret about the size;

They give it lots of thought.

Is seven inches long enough?

It makes them quite distraught.

They peek across in urinals,

To compare and try to see

But if another glances back at them

There's no way that they are there to pee!

For they know they have the gift; The gift that lights the torches of their soul, Ascending them to a splendid cum-filled bliss of eternity! The gift that must always be serviced and worshipped... Licked, sucked, massage & swallowed! This wild untamed beast, Has a mind of its own, So handle with love ad care.

I think the thing that's marvellous;

About that one eyed brute

Is that when its trying to procreate,

It knows which fluid to shoot. Mothers have the babies, But without the gift, They won’t be able to procreate. I know you ladies have to agree with me. Lesbians will try their best;

But must admit defeat.

I'm sure you'll all agree, They can’t harness the power of such an organ. I smile at their envy, As they cry and whimper… I will pull, yank and tug on my gift, Enjoying the pleasure of self love…

If masturbating is a sin; Leave me and I will sin forever! Cuz it really can relieve. So watch me shoot my pure white fluid Out of the one eyed brute. Oh, watch me enjoy the sweet nectar of the GODS; As dispel that old wives' tales! Hmm…The joy of the gift… But to tell the truth, I try to limit my life; Say I wouldn’t give in to envy but I do. What can I say? I am a mysterious mortal… As I feel the veins of my gift pulsate, I know what that means, A woman jus’ won’t do! Funny, I should want to be delivered from temptation, But I know somehow it would keep in touch with me, Manifesting it through me! Damn this journey from childhood to homosexuality! If I could be fucked by my gift, I wouldn’t give a FCUK ‘bout niggas! Damn this curse… Nonetheless I am enjoying my gift, Havin' sex in a country … That possesses the most assholes per capita! I am powerless, I have penis envy, And always it will remain with me; Until I am old and frail. I love God’s gift.

What Kind of Penis Do You Have? The Excedrin Penis: Its tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.

The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.

The American Express Penis: Don’t leave home without it.

The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?

The M&M Penis: It melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

The Lucky Charms Penis: It's magically delicious.

The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going and going.

The Campbell's Soup Penis: Mmm, Mmm good.

The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.

The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your penis?

The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.

The Cobain Penis: It blows itself away.

The All State Penis: You’re in good hands.

The Barqs Penis: The one with bite.

The Beef Penis: It’s what’s for dinner.

The Bud Lite Penis: Great taste, less filling.

The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.

The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.

The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin.

The Wendy’s Penis: Where’s the beef?

The Lays Penis: Betcha can’t eat just one.

The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.

The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your penis say to you?

The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra, extra, extra long time.

The Charmin Penis: Don’t squeeze the penis

The Virginia Slims Penis: You’ve come a long way, baby.

The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for MAN.

The Maxwell House Penis: Good to the last drop.

The Payday Penis: It’s almost totally nuts

The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.

The Reeses Penis: How do you eat your penis?

The Sustecal Penis: More protein, less fat

The Milk Penis: It does a body good

The Taco Bell Penis: It runs for the border.

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Penis: It's the adult thing to do?

The AOL Penis: It’s so easy to use, no wonder it’s #1?

The Pontiac Penis: Built for kicks, built for Keeps

The Psychic Penis: It knows you are coming before you do.

ALLOWING OTHERS TO WALK THEIR PATH

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Watching a loved one or a peer traverse a path littered with stumbling blockscan be immensely painful. We instinctively want to guide them toward a safer track and share with them the wisdom we have acquired through experience. Yet all human beings have the right to carve their own paths without being unduly influenced by outside interference. To deny them that right is to deny them enlightenment, as true insight cannot be conveyed in lectures. Rather, each individual must earn independence and illumination by making decisions and reflecting upon the consequences of each choice. In allowing others to walk their paths freely, you honor their right to express their humanity in whatever way they see fit. Though you may not agree with or identify with their choices, understand that each person must learn in their own way and at their own pace. The events and circumstances that shape our lives are unique because each of us is unique. What touches one person deeply may do nothing more than irritate or confound another. Therefore, each of us is drawn to different paths-the paths that will have the most profound effects on our personal evolution. If you feel compelled to intervene when watching another human being make their way slowlyand painfully down a difficult path, try to empathize with their need to grow autonomous and make their own way in the world. Should this person ask for your aid, give it freely. You can even tell them about your path or offer advice in a conscious loving way. Otherwise, give them the space they need to make their ownmistakes, to enjoy the fruits of their labors, to revel in their triumphs, and to discover their own truths. The temptation to direct the paths of others is a creature of many origins. Overactive egos can convince us that ours is the one true path or awaken a craving for control within us. But each person is entitled to seek out their path leading from the darkness into the light. When we celebrate those paths and encourage the people navigating them, we not only enjoy the privilege of watching others grow-we also reinforce our dedication to diversity, independence, and individuality.

DEDICATED TO THE 'BOY WONDER'

I AM AN ASS MAN!

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Anal sex, so vastly complex and compelling, an unavoidable part of being a human animal, yet shrouded in mystery. Anal sex is interplay of desire and denial, fantasy and reality with a complex physical and biological template tangled with an equally complicated cultural overlay. It is powerful and promising, chaotic and conflicted, ecstatic and blissful or frustrating and disappointing, emotional, energetic, overwhelming, pervasive, ubiquitous, hidden, and potentially deeply connecting of us to ourselves and to others. The most common type of anal sex is performed between men that are considered homosexuals. The act of homosexuality has for more than a century been the problem that occupied the minds of numerous scientists. Yet, there has not appeared a theory that would provide a comprehensive explanation of this phenomenon. They say we have the formula all wrong…I know it’s confusing to understand because ONE PENIS; PLUS ONE PENIS EQUALS? And it’s well known fact that society thinks that the ASS is an exit not an ENTRANCE. So for a MAN like myself who isn’t into ‘VANILLA SEX’ I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT THAT PUSSY AIN'T ALL THE RAGE! I AM WELL AWARE THAT GOD MUST HAVE INTEND 4 MEN 2 B FUCKED ANALLY BY OTHER MEN BECAUSE THERE WOULDN'T BE A TREMENDOUS CAPACITY FOR ANAL ORGASMS! Men have an "A SPOT" and to find this treasure; it involves stimulating the prostate gland via the rectum. I can see me going deep sea diving; me wanting him to ride me lowering his TICK over my TOCK and let work that ASS into the night! Seduction dangles from the tips of my fingers, exploring and probing...Sloppy kisses and wet blows. Hands pressed against a wall (DAMN I'M HARD!) I will FUCK an ASS ANYWAY and EVERYWHERE. Your feet going back to your ears (MY FAVOURITE POSITION) keep you like this for a few years…Being inside of an ASS is what I love the most…Such warmth of moisture surrounding the pulsations of my dick… I yearn for the thought of it on my D!CK, seeing your body arch upwards at the softness tongue licking every inch of it. I love the way eating an ASS makes a body heat up with desire and the way it fills the room the sound of pleasure. I love an ASS that allows me to indulge my fantasy, an ASS that longs to be FUCKED in every position it can handle. I want to see the sexual lust as I toss that ASS from side to side, telling me how everything feels good as it shivers out of control. So please let me watch you ride me from on top…Look in your eyes…as you feel me on top of you just watching the lust in your eyes as you feel the veins of my dick milking your ASS coating my dark shaft. Damn let me work that ASS from behind watching my pole slap hard and deeply into it…as it smack hard against my penis, make me want to stroke myself even more…because I AM AN ASS MAN!

GAY-IT-FORWARD

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I have come to the conclusion that we HOMOSEXUALS ARE THE WORLD’S REBIRTH and we carry with us the sense of hope and renewal! We are the first sliver of dawn that paints the horizon, gradually spreading our colour…Illuminating the world! So think about it, there’s such a strong archetype for a MAN that is gay…It's that hidden self, that secret self, that part of his being that isn’t defined by secrets or sexuality…But by his heart! We soothe the spirit of turmoil, purging the crippleness of self-hatred releasing the very human need to classify and label. WE HOMOSEXUALS KNOW THAT THE ONLY WAY FOR OUR TRUE PURPOSE TO ACTUALIZED IS TO DIVE DEEP INTO OURSELVES…CONNECT WITH THE MAIN PURPOSE OF LIFE! As a black same gender loving man, I am oppressed. As a GAY man, I have been shunned, abused and rendered invisible for being same sex prone. From the cradle I was made to understand from society at large and too frequently from my own family that the man I am is wrong and unacceptable. This gesture rendered labels like “sissy” and “ fagot”…The relentless denial of my humanity! Specifically, my manhood; SISSY = SUB-HUMAN, LESS THAN A MAN. According to the belief of society I have retreated from large portions of my man-selves, hence I am the denial of masculinity. I AM THE MESSENGER NOT THE MESSAGE AND I EXIST TO LET IT BE KNOW THAT I WON’T INTERNALIZED THIS SURPASSINGLY CHRISTIAN VIEW! I won’t internalize this culture’s homophobia and ignorance that tries to make me believe that I am so in-valid as a man, THIS FUCKING BRAND OF ‘HOMOPHOBIA’ IS NOT RIGHT! I am the honorable image of manhood! The strong Black man, the defiant man’s, man. I am the root, stability and resilience of the whole man. I enjoy more balance, having incarnated as male, I embrace and celebrate my man self. I live a life of torture that has made me the paragons of balance. I place value on myself, even though I am classified as the epitome of God’s abomination. I DON’T TAKE THAT NOTION INTO MY SOUL, my uniqueness as same gender loving man has made me the EPITOME OF GOD! I am human and that in itself is a gift and a curse which forces MANY of us take LIFE for granted. I know I came to this earth to live and die, I know I want to cherish my happiest moments and learn from the worst memories. I know that I want to be carefree; I want to learn and earn my right to live. I know I will be forever GAY in this life; while many believe that this is a SIN I believe that the sin is in the demeaning of MY HUMANITY! Humans do not know who I am; and therefore they do not know what I am. Am I just a simple man that happens to be different? I remember when I was once ‘human’…I lived, I hated, I loved, but NOT truly because I didn’t live until I turned twenty one. Before that awakening, I fell asleep and I faced a question, a question that I thought was only a dream. Do you want to help this world? Being a selfish young child, I thought that if I said yes, then I would be rewarded with a wonderful gift. So I said yes and I was given gift of HOMOSEXUALITY. I soon learnt that I would stay in this dream state until my former body died. My soul was ripped from my body. It was now taken over by another soul. One who was like me for a time, one whose job I would soon take over. Some call me an ANGEL, some call me a DEMON, say what you want I know that I came here to keep this world living and breathing. I A GAY MAN CHOSE TO PROTECT THIS WORLD FROM BEING EATEN BY ITSELF! I DO ALL OF THIS FOR SAKE OF HUMANITY, I MUST NEVER STOP! AFTER ALL THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS TO GAY FORWARD…

9/11...I REMEMBER

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Questions Of Life

How many steps will it take to walk a mile?

How many seconds will it take to wait a while?

How many battles do we need for us to win?

How many Gods do we need to forgive our sins?

How many times must a man betray his faith?

How many times can a man control his hate?

When do we say that justice isn't fair?

How can we endure the burden that we bear?

Where is the youth who will dare?

Where can we find the people who really care?

Where can we find the road to success?

Is it in the north, south, east, or west?

Where can I find true love?

That God had gave from above?

How many struggles do we need to make it through?

When do we say that a statement is false or true?

How can I forgive others?

When they killed my peers?

Can you give help to those people in need?

After they have dropped you and you bleed?

Who are the people you can trust?

In this world, to fight is a must.

The world will continue to evolve,

Until those questions have been solved.

JUST WANTED TO PUT THOSE OUT THERE ON A DAY THAT WORLD STOOD STILL...

DEDICATED TO LIVES LOST ON 9/11

TRUST Y'R FATE...

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Ah fate......you disguise yourself as "the plan". Then cloak your intentions & drape yourself on a person; as if he or she intended to do as they did. Fate is a fixed decree by which the order of things is prescribed; the immutable law of the universe; inevitable necessity; the force by which all existence is determined and conditioned. The Fates have the subtle but, awesome power of deciding a man’s destiny. They assign a man to good or evil. They are most obvious choice is choosing how long a man lives. Do you believe in fate? I know I do, life has taught me things that only could have been written somewhere just waiting for me to happen. I not only had to in the right place at the right time, but I had to be the right person. It is said that we're the masters of our own fate, that we make our decisions and that whatever choices we make are own doing. I don’t necessarily believe that we make our decisions anymore than if we decide our hearts are going to beat 100 times a second or we will take in 100 breathes. I feel that the choices that we are faced with have already been made and we are here to understand why and figure out how it affects us. Fate is that unknown but well recognize event that guides us all; it’s the guide of how our life will end up. Fate is Listen your inner self, and ask your spirit guides/guardian angels to guide your decision. Whatever one chooses to do in life, I always say, "Trust your gut feeling". You may think it isn't there, but dig down deep in your mind and soul and you will know what you want to do or what you think you should do. Fate has already made it all possible how can it not? The signs are around us all the time, it's just that sometimes we arent listening.....trust your own self...Every moment of your life is fate giving you a sign. Open your mind and take the next step and listen to the inner YOU for answers. Fate is the answer to all YOUR insecurities! Trust in fate and let things go. Don't over think, and take it slow. Things don't happen without a reason, where one turn ends, another begins. When a problem comes up, don't be afraid. A lesson to learn was why it was made. Nothing in life comes to us easy.Just accept what isn't and what is to be.

BLESSED WITH A PURPOSE

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Many people are committed to professions and personal endeavors they never consciously planned to pursue. They attribute the shape of their lives to circumstance, taking on roles they feel are tolerable. Each of us, however, has been blessed with a purpose. Your life's work is the assemblage of activities that allows you to express your intelligence and creativity, live in accordance with your values, and experience the profound joy of simply being yourself. Unlike traditional work, which may demand more of you than you are willing to give, life's work demands nothing but your intent and passion for that work. Yet no one is born with an understanding of the scope of their purpose. If you have drifted through life, you may feel directionless. Striving to discover your life's work can help you realize your true potential and live a more authentic, driven life. To make this discovery, you must consider your interests in the present and the passions that moved you in the past. You may have felt attracted to a certain discipline or profession throughout your young life only to have steered away from your aspirations upon reaching adulthood. Or you may be harboring an interest as of yet unexplored. Consider what calls to you and then narrow it down. If you want to work with your hands, ask yourself what work will allow you to do so. You may be able to refine your life's work within the context of your current occupations. If you want to change the world, consider whether your skills and talents lend themselves to philanthropic work. Taking stock of your strengths, passions, beliefs, and values can help you refine your search for purpose if you don't know where to begin. Additionally, in your daily meditation, ask the universe to clarify your life's work by providing signs and be sure to pay attention. Since life's journey is one of evolution, you may need to redefine your direction on multiple occasions throughout your lifetime. For instance, being an amazing parent can be your life's work strongly for 18 years, then perhaps you have different work to do. Your life's work may not be something you are recognized or financially compensated for, such as parenting, a beloved hobby, or a variety of other activities typically deemed inconsequential. Your love for a pursuit, however, gives it meaning. You'll know you have discovered your life's work when you wake eager to face each day and you feel good about not only what you do but also who you are.

TELL ME WHAT A RELATIONSHIP MEAN...

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Do we share a common life purpose?

Do you feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

Is he/she a refined and sensitive person?

Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?

Are they serious about improving themselves?

What do they do with their time?

Is this person materialistic?

How does he/she treat other people?

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves

and self-absorbed?

How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi

drivers, etc?

How do they treat their parents and siblings?

Do they gossip and speak badly about others?

Observe the relationships around you, pay attention; which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

Do you really want to be in a relationship?

Can you remain faithful?

Do you believe in soul-mates and if yes are you with yours?

What does loving someone else mean to you?

TO BE HUMAN…PUTTING PEOPLE ON PEDESTALS

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When we fall in love with someone or make a new friend, we sometimes see that person in a glowing light. Their good qualities dominate the foreground of our perception and their negative qualities. They just don't seem to have any. This temporary state of grace is commonly known as putting someone on a pedestal. Often times we put spiritual leaders and our gurus on pedestals. We have all done this to someone at one time or another, and as long as we remember that no one is actually "perfect," the pedestal phase of a relationship can be enjoyed for what it is-a phase. It's when we actually believe our own projection that troubles arise. Everyone has problems, flaws, and blind spots, just as we do. When we entertain the illusion that someone is perfect, we don't allow them room to be human, so when they make an error in judgment or act in contradiction to our idea of perfection, we become disillusioned. We may get angry or distance ourselves in response. In the end, they are not to blame for the fact that we idealized them. Granted, they may have enjoyed seeing themselves as perfect through our eyes, but we are the ones who chose to believe an illusion. If you go through this process enough times, you learn that no one is perfect. We are all a combination of divine and human qualities and we all struggle. When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he truly is. We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals-we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships.

THE 'MOTHERLESS' SON

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OH MY MOTHERLESS SON SING & REJOICE, FORTUNE IS SMILING ON U! U R THE CHOSEN PLACE; THE TIMELESS SON…He is reminding me of a pain I used to know, letting me know that the past won’t let me go. I forgot how hard it was once to live; feeling a lonely that he feels, just letting me know that my senses are real. I like him is waiting for a love I used to see, so that I can take back the best parts of me, I want to tell him that he is wasting his time because the beach that he used to lay on is no more; the tide came in and everything is gone. His beach will never be the same and all that will remain is his name. Damn I remember this pain so well; the same pain I felt a long time ago, the loneliness that told me my life isn’t real. I REMEMBER WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE YOUR MOTHER TURN HER BACK AGAINST HER FIRST BORN SON… I know he wonders to himself GOD If everything is supposed to happen for a reason, then tell me why no matter how hard I cry my MOTHER just don’t give a FUCK and I feel lonelier cause there was no one to dry my eyes, but me. He doesn’t’ know where he is going or where he’s been he doesn’t understand the reason for the things he has seen. He wishes that he wasn’t at all and GOD to answer when he wonders why this had to be his life, like why did she had to the one to give him life? Makes him dream of how it could be that there were no world, no people, just HIM. He often hopes for a quick, simple ending but usually finds chaos and then a new beginning, making him wonder if he knows wrong from right…night from day, day from night. Time eats away at his mind, his vision…still he’s stand paralyzed with indecision, wondering if change is in his hand. Do you think his MOTHER knows that when a child looses her love his soul is dying from an overdose of discontent? Does she know that she left her child to fend for himself in a world that is so unkind? I can see it now, the solitary soul sitting upon a still; he is sighing and singing a song of lament. Feel his anguish; I did so, for I know that for all he has done, he knows that he wouldn't know how to unlock these chains of uncertainty. I BLAME THE SUN FOR BREAKING ONE DAY AS ALL; I BLAME THE MOON FOR SHOWING CHANGE CAN COME, I BLAME THE BREEZE FOR SHOWING TRANQUILITY…I BLAME HIS MOTHER. He is so brokenhearted, his mind wondering about what he lacked, so completely wrapped up in himself, that he has forgotten on the still sat he…Knowing not where to begin, his thoughts were flowing like the wind, and his soul was mirrored, against his will…To his heart. I want him to know that he is the continual state of growth and evolution, each stage in his evolution paves the way for the next. Each stage prepares him for the next challenge…the next opportunity. Do you think he knows that we are just passing through on our way to the next level, the next stepping stone…on the journey of our life? I understand that it's often difficult to see our direction in the midst of the journey, but if we could look back on our lives watch them unfold from a higher vantage point…The direction of our growth; we will see the connection between one experience and the next. So as you follow your path, I want you to revisit the same issues, but from a higher, wiser place each time. You may not see how the present situation is serving you or where it may lead, know that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Our soul knows where we're headed. I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO REPLACE YOUR MOTHER BUT I WOULD DIE TRYING TO FILL THAT VOID THAT EXIST IN YOUR HEART…JUST KNOW THAT EVERY BREATHE THAT I TAKE I PRAY THAT GOD HEALS YOUR HEART AND EVERY TEAR I CRY, YOU CRY ONE LESS TEAR…OH MY MOTHERLESS SON THINGS WILL GET BETTER YOU WILL SEE.

I am… EYES: that will always see you for your true self.

EARS: that will always be open, listening to hear what you are saying.

MOUTH: that will always tell you the truth, give you my thoughts.

SHOULDERS: that will be your strength when you can't carry yourself.

ARMS: that will always be wide open, embracing, comforting you.

HANDS: that will always hold yours, giving you a little guidance.

FEET: that will always walk with you throughout life.

HEART: to love you for whom you are.

for Travis

A LIFE OF LEARNING…EARTH SCHOOL

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Life is the province of learning, and the wisdom we acquire throughout our lives is the reward of existence. As we traverse the winding roads that lead from birth to death, experience is our patient teacher. We exist, bound to human bodies as we are, to evolve, enrolled by the universe in earth school, an informal and individualized academy of living, being, and changing. Life's lessons can take many forms and present us with many challenges. There are scores of mundane lessons that help us learn to navigate with grace, poise, and tolerance in this world. And there are those once-in-a-lifetime lessons that touch us so deeply that they change the course of our lives. The latter can be heartrending, and we may wander through life as unwilling students for a time. But the quality of our lives is based almost entirely on what we derive from our experiences. Earth school provides us with an education of the heart and the soul, as well as the intellect. The scope of our instruction is dependent on our ability and readiness to accept the lesson laid out before us in the circumstances we face. When we find ourselves blindsided by life, we are free to choose to close our minds or to view the inbuilt lesson in a narrow-minded way. The notion that existence is a never-ending lesson can be dismaying at times. The courses we undertake in earth school can be painful as well as pleasurable, and as taxing as they are eventually rewarding. However, in every situation, relationship, or encounter, a range of lessons can be unearthed. When we choose to consciously take advantage of each of the lessons we are confronted with, we gradually discover that our previous ideas about love, compassion, resilience, grief, fear, trust, and generosity could have been half-formed. Ultimately, when we acknowledge that growth is an integral part of life and that attending earth school is the responsibility of every individual, the concept of "life as lesson" no longer chafes. We can openly and joyfully look for the blessing buried in the difficulties we face without feeling that we are trapped in a roller-coaster ride of forced learning. Though we cannot always know when we are experiencing a life lesson, the wisdom we accrue will bless us with the keenest hindsight.