¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Showing posts with label OUR LOVE'S PATH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OUR LOVE'S PATH. Show all posts

Thursday 25 October 2012

HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY NOEL!


BEING ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU IS 


QUITE EXHILARATING; LIKE I'M 

WITNESS TO SOME WELL-KEPT SECRET 

ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE N' LOVE.

I LOVE YOU!



Monday 07 November 2011

¿A CASE OF TWINCEST?



SO EVERYWHERE THAT NOEL AND I GO WE GET ASKED IF WE ARE TWINS. NOW I KNOW PEOPLE SAY YOU START TO LOOK LIKE A PERSON WHEN YOU’VE BEEN TWOGETHER FOR WHILE, SO TELL ME DO YOU THINK NOEL I LOOK LIKE TWINS OR ALIKE @ ALL?

Sunday 06 November 2011

NOEL'S PLACE


Every inch of space I occupy is Noel’s place.
Everywhere I dare to stride is Noel’s place.
Everywhere I lay my head, everywhere I wrap my legs,
Everywhere I spread my legs, is Noel’s place.

Anywhere I shake my butt, anywhere I leave a thought,
Anywhere I leave a drop of blood,
Anywhere I conceive or
Delete is Noel’s place.

Anywhere I leave a footprint, a fingerprint, a body print,
An image, or a scent is Noel’s place...
And I'm talkin' history here.
Except for where penises bloom,
Sho’ me a space that's
Not Noel's place
And I'll show u where u lost yr mind.

Tuesday 25 October 2011

¡HAPPY 4TH BABY!


In & Out of Time by Maya Angelou

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids...
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
Mmmm...God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares into dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.


Monday 24 October 2011

WE CONFUSE...

THE FOLLOWING MSN CHAT SESSION SPARKED THIS BLOG ENTRY:

Friday 17 June 2011

FOR NOEL...

My eyes could see you
My heart could feel you
My breath could sense you
I knew I loved you
Before I met you...

Thursday 10 March 2011

¿GAY = PROMISCUOUS?

Is it hard to believe that a gay man cannot cheat? This blog entry is a continuation of a blog entry that I wrote a while back..(soft of) I ask this question because a good female friend of mine made me question myself about this when she asked if I was cheating on Noel. Now before I get into why she asked me that let me say that I have NO desire to know what anyone else is like sexually, emotionally or anything that pulls me away from what I have with Noel. Shit I can’t even have a proper dream about f&cking someone else, for some odd reason I can’t complete the deed and I wake feeling like shit until I come to realize it was just a dream, but I digress. My friend asked me this question because last week I went to lunch with a friend of mine they don’t know and she feels that gay men are VERY promiscuous (her words). Now I can understand her question because one never really know what goes on in a relationship with two people, but I can’t help but feel a bit hurt because for all the praise Noel and I get for our relationship from her, how can my going to one little lunch with a friend make her think I am cheating on Noel?

Tuesday 15 February 2011

¿WHY FEAR OUR LOVE?

Some claim they don’t need a special day to tell the one they love just that.  Others proclaim it is a Hallmark” holiday geared towards economic gain.  Although I won’t personally dispute either claim, I will stand that I see it in a different light. As for me, do I need a day to let Noel know how special he is to me? No, I don’t, as this is something I do practically every day of the year.  I do however appreciate a day, which is set aside as a special day to celebrate that love which is confessed so often, and we did just that!

Monday 25 October 2010

THANK GOD I FOUND YOU-THEN & NOW


On this day, the third anniversary of our relationship, I must say that I still feel immensely blessed, fortunate and humbled by the love that we share for each other. Three years ago we began on this journey and I must say it is one that I have not regretted taking. Our Love continues to grow from strength to strength and I consider myself to be very fortunate.

Tuesday 14 September 2010

"LIFE IS BUT A DREAM"

I am CONSTANTLY being told/shown that this world I perceive as real is actually an illusion, not unlike a film being projected. Lately I find myself in a state of unrest where my relationship with Noel is concerned. I feel SO blessed to have him and I am thankful for each day we share together, but there is apart of me that feels selfish for him being here. Lately I’ve been thinking if Noel and I hadn’t met he wouldn’t have to deal with issues like being unemployed and having to subject himself to the xenophobic ways of the Bahamas.

I try to lose myself in that thought of us as little boys singing that mesmerizing, wistful lullaby that ends with the words, “Life is but a dream.” This represents the classic example of my deep, complicated truth hiding, like an underground stream, in an unlikely place. And it winds its way through my mind like a riddle FORCING me to consider its meaning. I HATE that I get SO involved in the projection of what life is, that I forget to see it for what it REALLY is. How do I get SO caught up in the illusion of life? Why do I let myself believe the illusion that I am in a life and death struggle of my relationship?

I think because Noel is me and I am him, I take on the things that he would take on and it is SO funny because when he went home earlier this year, I made him promise me that he wouldn’t stress out his employment situation upon his return. I felt SO close to the light of awareness that I have NO idea how I got caught up in this passing fancy…wondering how do I get back to the place where I live my life with detachment, compassion, and wisdom, without struggling on the “stage” play of life? Yesterday I couldn’t bring myself to understand that knowing that life is but a dream does not mean that I ignore it or don’t do my best with the twists and turns of our fate. Rather, I need to become that actor who plays his role FULLY even as I know it is ONLY a role, I MUST engage in the unfolding drama, but with a little more freedom because I know that this is not the totality of who Noel and I are.

Our relationship is more of an ad-libbing than it is like a play whose lines have already been written, whose end is already known. Like improvisers, we have choices to make and the more we embrace the illusionary quality of the performance, the lighter we can be on the planet, on others, and MORE importantly ourselves. We can truly play with the shadows cast by the light of the projector, fully engaging without getting bogged down. And I will do my best to remember that…

“Through struggle and diligence, we learn to extend ourselves past the arbitrary limits we once set and boldly accept challenges that will test our skills, abilities, and perseverance. As you strive to do your best today regardless of what duty you’re addressing, you’ll invite achievement and distinction into your existence.”

Thursday 29 July 2010

¡WE ARE JUST MONOGA~MANIACS!

Can you tell me how a person can go from saying to me that Noel and I are such an awesome couple to asking if we ever cheated on each other and being all surprised when they hear that the answer is no? Moreover, how does one respond with a mixture of stunned disgust after complimenting our relationship? I suppose Noel and I aren’t possible because gay men aren’t meant to be monogamous…

I LOVE when folks come @ our relationship with ABSOLUTES! I can't speak for the entire gay community (and I don’t care to try), but why do folks like to project themselves on each other when we are TOTALLY different? I know their arguments could be that there is a progression occurring within the gay community and though most people can’t see it, we gay men have EVOLVED sexually. But while that is a reasonable point, what I have with Noel CANNOT be compared to what anyone else has going on out there and I think it is CRAZY for persons to try and put us in the same box as other gay couples that cheat. I get that the MAJORITY of us hang all our romantic hopes on this finding the ‘one’, but if you don’t realize you are the one then…

I think that I am one THE MOST liberal guys you’ll ever meet, and I’ll be the first to defend anyone’s right to have whatever type of relationship works for them. My motto is: “If you can make it work and be happy, then go for it. It’s just not right for us.” That said, I know from my own experience and through friends that ‘whatever’, is responsible for THE slippery slope that causes confusion for us. One minute you’re living in bliss Ville and the next you are ‘whatever’…And I FIRMLY believe that the hyper-sexual world we live in will cause us MORE harm than good. And I know that that for better OR for worse, we live in a world that can produce almost our every whim from the options we choose. How about considering a guy that LOVES you for you, doesn't want just sex, and who will be able to talk to you besides asking the usual questions like: HOW BIG IS IT? ARE YOU A TOP/BOTTOM? WHAT FANTASIES DO YOU HAVE? CAN I SEE YOU NAKED ON CAM? AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE YOU CAN JOIN THE MONOGA~MANIACS CLUB WITH NOEL & I. 

Tuesday 15 June 2010

GAY ONLINE SOCIALIZING...

So I mentioned to a few friends of mine that I still have my ADAM4ADAM & BGC accounts and they feel that since I am in monogamous relationship that I should have deleted those accounts a long time ago. Noel and I met via BGC so I don't think there is anything wrong with my keeping myself there or on A4A...After all Noel trusts me and he knows where we stand...So how about you, do you think my keeping myself on these sites can and will lead to problems or do you feel that they are harmless and they are NO big deal?

Thursday 11 March 2010

¡LOVE RETURNS!

@ EXACTLY 10:24 PM TONIGHT NOEL WILL GRACE THE BAHAMAS WITH HIS PRESENCE & MY SOUL WITH HIS LOVE! SO MUCH FOR LIVING APART TWOGETHER FOR 6 MONTHS...AREN'T WE JUST A COUPLE OF PUSSIES?

Friday 05 February 2010

LIVING APART TWOGETHER (PART II)

I CAN NEVER KISS YOU ENOUGH
I CAN NEVER HOLD YOU ENOUGH
I CAN NEVER MAKE LOVE TO YOU ENOUGH
ALL I CAN DO IS LOVE YOU…

          
So this morning I drop Noel to the airport so he can spend @ least six months in St. Vincent which is his country. This is a bitter-sweet moment for me as I NEVER thought we would be doing this again, but I TOTALLY understand how he feels. From a previous entry, I blogged about how him being here without a job is just KILLING him. No matter how I try to hurry the time by, it just isn’t moving how I would like.

The last time we had to LIVE APART TWOGETHER, I knew when he was going to return…this time there isn’t a set date for his return. @ Work yesterday I sat down thinking about today and I got EXTREMELY sad. No matter how I look @ it, I can ONLY see him NOT being here…I know it is selfish to feel sad when he is doing something for him…for us…I just don’t want to be without him…It didn’t matter what I didn’t have or how crappy my day was…the ONLY thing that mattered is that I had him here waiting for me…

Sunday 25 October 2009

¡HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY BABY!




Everyday in LOVE is written long ago,
LOVE is our story,
We are characters in it,
We living our roles
Facing each with patience and courage
Preparing for a better tomorrow
For it is our shining sun
Everyday in LOVE is…YOU!

Sunday 23 August 2009

NO MORE LIVING APART TWOGETHER...


After 2 months, 2 weeks, 7 day, 10 hours, 35minutes & 20 seconds Noel and I laid eyes on each other after our time apart. When I think back to all the I LOVE YOUS and BLOWN KISSES not to mention the HUGE phone bill and having to ARCHIVE my msn messages (twice) we are together again, NO LONGER LIVING APART TWOGETHER…I woke up with butterflies in my stomach (something I didn’t feel in a while) and it was VERY nice. I tried SO many times to imagine this moment but couldn’t because I realize that LIVING the moment is SO much better…I can’t believe that I have my baby back where he belongs…& I THANK MY CREATOR FOR HIS SAFE RETURN…& AS WE CAPTURE THE EUPHORIA OF LOVE & BOW @ EACH OTHER’S ALTER TODAY, WE IMPLORE YOU TO DO THE SAME…HAVE A LOVELY SUNDAY! I KNOW WE DEFINITELY WILL (OH WE CHANGED THE SHEETS BTW)…






Tuesday 18 August 2009

¿TRUST, CAN THERE EVER BE TOO MUCH?


So the other night I was having a chat on YIM with a guy that led me to write about this subject. Now before I start please let me say that I DON’T BELIEVE THERE IS SOMETHING AS TOO MUCH TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP! So back to what led me here…you see this guy and I chat often here and there, but he knows very little about me and he just found out about Noel. Of course he seemed shocked that I have a partner because I brought it up… (side note: if you don’t ask me anything in particular you won’t get to know things about me) crazy I know but it is how I go about things…Anyways he invited me over to his place to meet him and of course I asked him what were his intentions? He said that I was cool and that he wanted to meet me…Fine I thought no harm…no foul. So we made arrangements to meet this coming Friday (which I am going to ditch BTW) because Sunday past wasn’t working for me @ all and I don’t really like to socialize with persons that aren’t friends of mine through the week just like that. So of course he then asked, “what are you doing tonight?” I was like not a thing but resting God’s body. He then suggested that we meet up for a drink, I turned him because I don’t drink alcohol and furthermore it was like almost midnight. So he then asked me, “what would I leave my home for @ this hour?” I was like it wouldn’t be for you OR anyone else for that matter because I am NOT interested in anyone else. So he went back to our meeting this Friday and suggested that I bring Noel along…I was like well he wouldn’t here until the next day as he has been off the island for about 3 LONG ASS MONTHS! Ya think that gave him an opening? So I told Noel about his invite he was like okay whatever and just brushed it off like it was nothing. I was like it doesn’t bother you that I am going to meet some man? His response was, “nope I trust you,” and he should because I would NEVER do anything to hurt our union. But I did wonder if he trusts me TOO much? I mean I know that I trust him a hell of a lot but still the thought did cross my mind. And I thought about the trust we have for each other and I realized how bless I am to be with him because I get to live out the things I’ve always wanted with a man…



So back to the guy that led me to write this blog entry…before I say anything about him, I feel that I MUST admit that I understand what he was trying to do AND I feel sorry for him, but I wish he and others would believe me when I say, I HAVE A PARTNER! A PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE IS SCARED & SPECIAL…It isn’t like saying I have a boyfriend OR just a relationship…I HAVE PARTNERSHIP TAKES THINGS TO ANOTHER LEVEL…So how most gay men end like this anyways? How do they get to a point where they feel that your relationship doesn’t mean a thing and that all men will cheat anyways? When I sat back and thought about it, I realize that is all about SEX! Why is sex still all the rage nowadays? Everybody wants to be having it and they want it with whomever…wherever…While sexual bliss is all good and well, how does getting it with me make it SO exciting when I come with a relationship? My getting with anyone would mean that I am unfaithful, just about sex AND I can’t be trusted…I know those things pale in comparison with a man that is looking to get the change knock out of his purse but I couldn’t even if I wanted because my dick N’ ass belongs to Noel…I know how powerful and great sex can be, but it is even better when you have the kind of connection that Noel and I have. And no matter how many come my way, there is NOTHING I would do to take that away from me…NOTHING! 

I KNOW THAT THERE IS POWER IN NOEL TRUSTING ME & I HIM BECAUSE IT MAKES LOVE ALL THAT WE KNOW IT IS…I GET THAT TRUST CAN EASILY BE BROKEN & KEEPING THEM OFTEN PROVES MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE WE FEEL THAT WE HAVE TO BE PERFECT WHEN WE DON’T. LOVE ISN’T ABOUT BEING PERFECT…IT JUST IS…& NO MAN SHOULD TRY TO LIVE UP TO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T COMES NATURAL TO HIM WHEN HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER…IN MY RELATIONSHIP I TRUST MY SOUL WITH NOEL BECAUSE OUR LOVE COMPELS ME TO DO SO…(WHY ARE THERE TEARS IN MY EYES AS I WROTE THAT LINE?) I KNOW THAT IN ORDER FOR US TO BE COMPLETE, WE HAVE TO BE OPEN N’ HONEST WITH EACH OTHER…& THAT COMES FROM US HAVING TOO MUCH TRUST IN OUR RELATIONSHIP & EACH OTHER…WHICH PROVIDES US WITH AN ENVIRONMENT OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY, THAT CAN ONLY NURTURE A GREATER CLOSENESS THAT WILL GIVE US MANY HAPPY YEARS WITH EACH OTHER… 

Tuesday 16 June 2009

THE SCENT OF HIM...


NOEL HAS BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST 3 WEEKS NOW & I CAN SMELL HIM IN THE SHEETS ON OUR BED, SO I'VE DECIDED THAT I WON'T CHANGE THEM ANYTIME SOON...¿IS THAT WEIRD, NASTY OR JUS' LOVE?




Friday 29 May 2009

LOVE IS YOU

THIS SONG IS THE THEME OF OUR RELATIONSHIP...I HAD IT PLAYING BEFORE I TOOK NOEL TO THE AIRPORT & WHEN I GOT IT WAS STILL PLAYING SO I DECIDED TO POST IT...

LIVING APART TWOGETHER


So today Noel leaves for his 3 month internship which is the last leg of getting his degree. Of course I am EXTREMELY happy for him; I can’t help but miss him and no how hard I tried over the last month to imagine him not being here, I couldn’t. Noel says that I should see it as just 12 weeks, but it hard to do that when you’ve spent everyday with each other for almost 2 years…So we’ll be LIVING APART TWOGETHER. Though LIVING APART TOGETHER simply is a term for couples who, whilst committed to each other, decide to have separate homes rather than one shared residence, I feel that Noel going to Antigua and my living in the Bahamas qualifies to an extent even though it falls into the long distance relationship category. I know that something like this is a test for a relationship, but feel that our chances are GREAT! Besides we get the IMMENSE pleasure of playing with each other’s minds until our bodies return to each other…I know that TRUE LOVE can overcome any odds thrown in its path and I look forward to the months ahead…I know that I couldn’t do this if Noel and I didn’t VALUE TRUST, understood that HONEST is the BEST policy and PATIENCE wasn’t a VIRTUE…SO AS I COUNT THE SUNRISES N’ SUNSETS, I WILL HOLD POOCHIE (OUR STUFF DOG/CHILD) TIGHT AS HE COMFORTS ME IN THE BED THAT NOEL & I SHARE EVERY NIGHT UNTIL HIS RETURN TO US…

Saturday 14 February 2009

¡HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!


When your heart is jumping, I will be with you.
When your heart is brave, I will be with you.
When your heart is dancing, I will be with you.
When your heart is crying, I will be with you.
When your heart is broken, I will be with you.
When your heart is down, I will be with you.

No matter what happens, I will always be with you!

THEY SAY...
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
No one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.


SO…
 As you breathe this day,
Be sure you are sharing your heart
With someone who values what’s in it…
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FROM MY LOVE TO YOURS…
 

Saturday 08 November 2008

TWO GOODFELLOWS...

November 2, 2008 mark the anniversary of the FIRST time Noel and I saw each other and had our FIRST date. I remember that Saturday so well and I am glad that I got to live that…My day started with me having to go to work (yep on a Saturday). I stopped by my mother’s house for bit because for some reason I tried to reach Noel but I wasn’t successful and I wanted us to FINALLY meet after a few near misses. So after being @ my mom’s for a bit I decided that if we are going to meet now was the time. I called him again and as the universe would have it, he answered his cell phone. I told him about my plan for us to meet and he agreed. However, he wanted to freshen up as he just woke up and he needed to get himself together. @ This time I told him NOT to, I said THAT I WANTED TO SEE THE REAL YOU…I WANT TO MEET THE PERSON & NOT THE REPRESENTATIVE (wrong of me huh?)…I mean I was all groomed and shitz and here he was in all his morning glory. So the moment he came in the car, I looked @ him and smiled because he took the leap and didn’t wash his face, brush his teeth nor fix himself up and I LOVED IT! We drove for what seemed like hours trying to cover all the things we said we would talk about when we meet face to face. Knowing that I had to go to work for a bit I told him that I will take him home to get ready because I wanted to take him for lunch @ one of my most favorite places GOODFELLOWS FARM. I dashed to work which was about 45 minutes away showed my face and left (good thing the warehouse supervisor didn’t show up) this FURTHER proved to me that Noel and I were meant to begin OUR journey on this day. I arrived @ his place he got in the car all groomed and I must admit he looked nice, I felt SO lucky. When we got to our destination I was a bit worried that he wouldn’t like it and that would make our date a bad one (and who wants that?). @ Lunch we talked about our backgrounds and realized that we had a lot in common…That was SO refreshing because NOT only is he intelligent AND PERFECT, he is SEXY as hell! He is the RIGHT size, the kinda man that fits me like a glove and I knew I wasn’t going to let him go…I ate he kept staring @ me and all I was thinking about was him kissing me because I felt that he wanted to…(and rightly so) who wouldn’t want to kiss these lips of mine? ;) But all in all it was a wonderful day and on this day we decided to visit the place that started it for us and it was nice to reminisce and try to remember what we did that day…ALL I KNOW IS THAT WHEN I DROPPED HIM AFTER THINKING HE HATED IT, I GOT THE MOST LOVELY TEXT THAT SAID THANK YOU FOR THE BEST DATE EVER & I LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE…I WAS ELATED BECAUSE IT IS VERY RARE TO MEET SOMEONE THAT CAN HOLD YOU MIND, BODY N’ SPIRIT WITHOUT RESERVATION OR HESITATION…THANK YOU BABY FOR THE BEST FIRST DATE EVER…I LOVE YOU SO MUCH…

Saturday 25 October 2008

¡HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!


It is said that one day for ‘God’ is a thousand years for us and today as I celebrate my FIRST year anniversary with Noel, this saying holds SO much truth. This felt like a long time coming and @ the same time it still feels like we are meeting for the first time. I wrote a blogentry exactly one year ago to the day asking questions that in a few hours later gave me hope in the possibility of NOT just finding someone, but finding THE one. I have always prayed that one day I would meet a certain man that would have the important qualities that I hope for. This man I created in my mind has materialized into being and I cannot express how much LOVE I have for him. It is as if we were made for each other because our lives run parallel with each other. We have almost the same life story, the same woes, and the same problems. We even have so many similar characteristics and many things about us are the same. Before I met him, many things contributed to making my life miserable and sad. I am positive person, but as I grew older, negativism AND pessimism had found me. When I met him, everything changed. He has brought meaning, positivism AND inspiration to my life. Our partnership hasn't been weakened AND destroyed by NEEDS, EXPECTATIONS, WANTS, CLINGING, INSECURITIES, CONTROL  JEALOUSIES and other ego-based imperfections that plague us. In fact it is MY belief that we have thrived AND is celebrating what I am sure will be the first of MANY anniversaries because of those things. I say this because the foundation of OUR relationship is built on an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for the other; anchored by the FREEDOM to be who WE are, without false pretense. WE know EXACTLY how to express OUR SEXUALITY which is one of ‘God's’ gifts that creates feelings of divine oneness, PASSION that we cannot deny; JOY that goes beyond anything that exists in this world and LOVE that keeps us. SO many gay relationships fall apart and I feel that this happens because SO many of us are NOT honest AND real with each other. I believe that because of who we are is the reason WE have transcended everything we've experienced in the past. I get that we are a rarity, but we are nonetheless…& I THANK ‘GOD’ THAT I CAN CELEBRATE THIS DAY WITHOUT FEAR OR TREPIDATION…HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY, I LOVE YOU…

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