¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Thursday, 25 February 2010

THEY ARE ALL IN THIS ALONE…THE COLOR OF PREJUDICE

What is color prejudice? Well to quote Sir Alan Burns “It is nothing more than the unreasoning hatred, one for another, the contempt of the stronger and richer people for those whom they consider inferior to themselves and the bitter resentment of those who are kept in subjection and are so frequently insulted. As color is the most outward manifestation of race, it has been made the criterion by which people are judged irrespective of their social or educational attainments.”

I had a conversation with a fellow blogger a while back about skin color and socialization in the black gay community. I mentioned my and noel thinking about moving to the states and I was told that since both noel and I are light skinned, it would be frowned upon if we socialize with persons whose skin is darker in color. @ First I thought it was a joke, but soon realized that it wasn’t. He then tried to make me understand why a majority of black people take pleasure in their narrow-mindedness. For them there is only one way out and it leads into a world where those that have the same skin color “play” together.

Now as this crazy notion seeped into my mind, I concluded that self-hate makes black persons in America akin to an obsessive neurotic type, or to put it another way, they put themselves into complete situational obsession. There is this constant effort to run away from their individuality by annihilating all logic and reason, which ultimately have them confused. Doesn’t self-rejection invariably bring painful and obsessive feelings of exclusion? Moreover, is this the main reason why SO many blacks have a problem with interracial relationships?

One of the most common criticisms lobbed @ the black community in America is, “Why do you have to be SO angry?” Is their anger valid, valuable, and necessary? AND why it's completely fucked-up to try to take away their anger? And NOTHING angers black Americans like seeing one ‘their own’ date/marry someone of a white persuasion. I remember a blog entry I did and how it sparked comments, e-mail messages AND had a few chat sessions from persons that objected to a photo of black and white man kissing. There was such ANGER from black folks that I thought I was in a twilight zone! They were saying that while the white guy is cute, they couldn’t date him NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTED THEY WERE TO HIM! Suffice to say, I didn’t get the anger because in my opinion an attraction is an attraction and who can say where it will show up for us?

Why do black Americans act as if dating someone that is white means that they HAVE to forget about what their ancestors went through during the years of slavery? How do you reason with someone that says, “a man is man as long as it isn’t a white man” in their conversations? It is SO obvious that persons that think like this lack an understanding of themselves and are simply making an excuse for their “blackness”. Talk about the legacy of cultural genocide…the cause of color prejudices.

The poison of color prejudices must be eradicated through education, as these pathological disorders affects all sides. People need to learn about themselves in order to raise self-esteem. All other ways are temporal. This lack of esteem of self as an object worthy of love has great consequences, for one thing it keeps the person in a profound inner insecurity, as a result of which it inhibits or falsifies every relation with others. And anyone who is not working to restore racial harmony contributes to the injustices that persist…

16 comments:

  1. what a nice picture....it is many years ago...my relationship with Jack from Guadeloupe, we was a nice couple...i miss him..

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  2. While no one can say their country is totally free of racism and racist behavior I can say as for the places I've been it really is a matter of choosing to be around those kind of people.
    You can certainly find them in spades but it's not some sort of pandemic and often times I find racism runs deepest in those communities which claim to suffer the greatest hardships as a result of it.

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  3. One could write reams on different shades of "blackness." I understand the cultural background of this more so than I do the ongoing disunity in the community of Blacks that these internal divisions cause. United in the churches, the economic reality, the position and place of a majority within the community but still divided on the shade of skin. *sigh*

    But brother thank you for this ongoing dialog. It is important and people will stumble in here and see your insight through your words.

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  4. Yes, the accompanying photo is hot, the "white" boy is cute, and yes, if I wasn't married, I'd date him being attracted to him! But it wasn't always that way, especially way back when.......

    Gaytekeeper, you mentioned anger a lot in this post! Some say that GUILT is another facet of anger, and I believe it! I think many African Americans feel guilty for having an attraction outside of the race AT ALL! Especially when the cultural/historical aspect is brought into the mix. It's like "how can I be attracted to this person outside my race when his grandfather raped my grandmother and lynched my grandfather, my father, and now (he) might want to lynch me if I put myself in that postition."

    Guilt, anger, perceived past hurts & atrocities, confusion, ALL THAT MESS only breeds more internal DYSFUNCTION! God (and everybody else) knows "we" have enough of that!

    It's time to move on!

    When I was coming along, interracial relationships (especially gay ones) just wasn't done much - and there's A LOT of history THERE! After all, WHY bend over voluntarily for "the man" who has screwed you for centuries? I personally never considered it, which is kinda odd considering that I descend from such a mixed family. But today, God forbid, if something happened to the beautiful black man that I call my husband, and I decided to date again, "marry again", I will NOT limit myself! I'm not going LOOKING for anything other, but if it happens and it's REAL, then more power to it! I've seen some lovely interracial relationships, and I think many of us MISS OUT on love (especially black females) by waiting on a tall, DARK, and handsome man who will NEVER show up!

    We aren't the only ones who bring such historical baggage, and hatred into mixed relationships, though! "They" often have these Mandingo Fantasies that blind them to any truth of our humanity - all they see, all they want, is a SUPER STUD with a BIG BLACK DICK! Not to mention that they're often so arrogant to think that we ALL WANT THEM and they can HAVE US AT WILL! Flashbacks? So many seem to come together for ALL THE WRONG REASONS!

    This is what I'm talking about when I saw REAL - it has to be true, and DEVOID of ALL THIS MESS!

    I'm not the expert! Just my quick two cents worth! Love you!

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  5. It should be understood that skin color prejudice is not merely a phenomenon in the black community. Latinos suffer from it, South Americans suffer from it, Spaniards suffer from it, Indians suffer from it as well as other Asians. Wherever there is a variation in skin color (usually due to the admixture of the races) there will be skin color prejudice WITHIN the race.

    Racism (as distinguished from prejudice) is a virulent hatred lodged in the emotional body, not the mind. Therefore, it is going to take a little more than education to obliterate it, as the passing decades have shown.

    We all need to take a hiatus from our opinions and conceptions and endeavor to meet each other as human beings

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  6. At the risk of injuring a nascent if online friendship, I have to tell you that I think there's one piece of this issue you've neglected and that's the fact that African American's were slaves in this country. That's a hell of a "heritage" to overcome and continues to affect our society today. I'm old enough to remember the "Whites Only" "Colored Entrance" etc. signs when we went down South to visit my grandparents. And don't forget it's not only here - Latin America, Asia, India are all "color conscious" and the lighter the better. ("Wheatish" is the preferred skin color in India). I'm not so sure that it's a lack of self-understanding but more a cultural carry over from a long, hard, violent subjugation by white society. Something that won't go away easily.

    As for me personally, my first lover was a Black man from NOrth Carolina while I was in college and I date Black men (as well as Asian, Latin, Native American, Young, Old - you know basically any m,an with a pulse!) We still have a long way to go and every bit helps.

    Thanks again man.

    Scott

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  7. I'm writing from highly segregated Chicago, Il.
    "Boystown" is still very white-oriented, so that gay social life is also very segregated.

    There IS a bar (Circuit) on the strip (Halsted Street) that has different "ethnic" nights: black, latino, etc., and charges a hefty cover charge ($25) for being so "inclusive."

    Then there are the black and the latino bars, outside of Boystown. Not at all mixed.

    In general, two or (counting latinos) three completely separate worlds.

    Men of different races have sex with each other, of course, but dating, per se, for Chicago natives, anyway, is tricky, for a number of reasons:

    Chicago is SO segregated that blacks and whites are just not friends outside of work.

    Period.

    So to see a black guy and a white guy together at a movie or in a purely social setting, even downtown, is a dead giveaway that we have two gay men here.
    And on the south or west side, which are the black neighborhoods in Chicago, such an occurrence (a black and a white guy together) practically invites homophobic comments from complete strangers.

    And the prohibition against "dating outside your race" is VERY strong here, especially in the black gay community, which is quite coherent, having its long-standing roots in family, school, church and bar connections.

    So, for a black guy to invite a white friend to a family function, or just to hang out with him at home, is tantamount to flinging the closet door wide open, and giving up what might be called "semi-down-low" status. Definitely NOT OK, to put it mildly. And, to some black people, indeed, it means "turn in your black card!" as well. To them, it's bad enough that you yourself are a faggot, but to compound the insult to their worldview by dating a WHITE faggot! To them you're damned in both this world AND the next.

    And the situation in white neighborhoods or suburbia is more or less the same, except that white neighbors will probably not call you a name, though they WILL notice. Oh, yes.....

    So, no dating allowed: hook-ups only here in beautiful Chicago.

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  8. BJORNS-BRUTZELBUDE – I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT PICTURE!

    COGENT ASCENDING – YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT!

    THE WALKING MAN – THAT’S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT…DIALOGUE!

    COREY – IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON IS CORRECT! I GET THE HURT AND PAIN, BUT HOLDING ONTO DOES NO ONE ANY GOOD! I LOVE YOU TOO!

    THOMAS – READING YOUR COMMENT MADE ME FEEL SAD ALL OVER AGAIN…LOVE YOUR CONCLUSION THOUGH!

    SCOTT747 – YOU COULD NEVER HURT OUR ONLINE FRIENDSHIP & I DID MENTION THE SLAVERY ISSUE (THOUGH BRIEFLY) IN THE FIRST PART OF MY ENTRIES ON THIS SUBJECT. WE DO HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO & I SURELY HOPE WE GET THERE…

    ANONYMOUS – SO SAD TO HEAR THAT SEGREGATION STILL EXISTS IN THIS WORLD…

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  9. The whole thing is so exhausting. Thank God all of my friends - mostly black, from different parts of the globe, and some white - really don't give a f**k about race. They - and I - like who they like.

    Interesting, though - the racist separatist black gay community that I see puts a lot of value in light-skinned/mixed race black guys, even though they'd never admit it.

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  10. ;-) i have no picture, but i have the memory..

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  11. Um, "racist, sexist, black gay community?"

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  12. I truly try hard not to see color in people, I just see people. I do know of people that despise the notion of a Black man with a white man, or a Black Man with a white woman and so on; yes there are prejudices. I'm not prejudice to race or color although; I am prejudice to ignorance.

    I can't imagine selecting friends by shades of color, but there are cliques of light skin men that won't socialize with dark skin brothas such as myself and vice versa. Of course I have a preference to what color men I find most attractive
    to have sex with, but color should never be an issue when it comes to the color of friendship.

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  13. As for me personally, my first lover was a Black man then i dated alot white men..race isnt a big thing,when you fall in love you fall in love with the man not his skin.

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  14. GARCON STUPIDE - I KNEW HOW YOU WOULD FEEL ABOUT THIS SUBJECT MATTER...

    BJORNS-BRUTZELBUDE - MEMORIES ARE GREAT!

    THOMAS - I KNOW RIGHT...I KNOW...YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THEY DO EXIST...

    CHET - IT NEVER SHOULD BE AN ISSUE @ ALL...

    ZION`OLOGY - SAY THAT AGAIN!

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  15. As someone who has dated Black, White, Asian and Latino it saddens me to hear how deep-seated the reactions of some are to this. The remarks about Chicago in particular touched me.

    I realize that people that have problems with interracial dating are likely driven by emotion, but it seems obvious to me that we can never ask from others what we ourselves are unwilling to give.

    That said, even here in DC I remember remarks (albeit only a few) when I first started dating my Latino boyfriend 17 years back. Today I look around me and there are many, many more interracial people as well as just mixed-race groups of friends. Today I have many friends that seem equally content to hang out with Blacks (and not just me) and Whites. Perhaps I'm being overly optimistic, but I think we're moving in the right direction even if it sometimes appears to be painfully slow.

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  16. I don't agree with the "I don't see color, just the person"... I see the color and LOVE the color, skin, eyes, hair, ALL the details, inside and out. And many of the comments make it sound like white folks don't discriminate within the "white world". Oh no no no, every possible variation is seen and "evaluated". The blacker my man was, the whiter I felt, and I loved his blackness, and enjoyed my whiteness. I moved to Mexico some years ago and am totally in love with a Mexican man here. So you can add all the differences that culture and language bring to our love. I love his ojos negros as much as he loves my blue eyes. Becoming bilingual has increased my love of my "mother language". Becoming acculturated (yes, it works both ways) has helped me to know what being Anglo is. I can appreciate an all white garden and even then every shade of cream to bone white adds variety, but oh never never ask me to live in a one color garden, a one color world. I give thanks to the Creator for every color of skin just as I give thanks for every color of every flower.

    And the horrors of the past? like slavery? While in the arms of my black man, the fact that one of my ancestors might have "owned" one of his ancestors? Made loving him and his loving me all the more a (political) statement, testimony to the fact that we are as free as we choose to be.

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