¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Friday, 28 August 2009

OLDIE, BUT GOODIE: HOMOSEXUALITY...THE WAY GOD INTENDED...



I FIND IT INTERESTING HOW LITTLE HAS CHANGED SINCE I WROTE THIS BLOG ENTRY WHEN IT COMES TO HOW OTHERS VIEW GAY PEOPLE & HOW WE GAY PEOPLE VIEW OURSELVES. SO I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A NICE READ & EVEN THOUGH IT IS RATHER LONG, IT IS A NICE ENTRY NONETHELESS…


Nobody seems to like homosexuals…it’s always open season on the same sex prone crowd. They consider our ‘UNIQUENESS’ strange, our language foreign. Our confidence is seen as ignorant; laughing at our heart’s defeat because we are living a life that isn’t meant to be. We are living an accidental existence whose intelligence is downgraded. We make them question things they can’t understand about themselves which they can’t internalize because it’s too scary in there. Pride for our sexuality makes us ‘TOO GAY’ yet; we can only be what we are meant to be. And, who are we you might ask? We are those STRONG HUMAN BEINGS who stand tall, with an erect spine pointing to the stars. We are here to show the world that not only do we possess the ability to play by the rules; we can make them as well.


I was five years old when I knew I liked boys; it was so comforting, so easy, so pure…so right. I liked playing cowboys n’ Indians with my best friends so naturally I was the Indian and naturally I will always allow myself to be captured knowing that I will have my hands placed firmly behind my back with my best friend breathing heavily on my neck with his penis placed right on my ass. Oh God how I loved that feeling! Growing up I was always told that I was be killed if I turned out to be gay. I smile at that notion now because I know that I didn’t turn out to be gay, gay is who I am, gay is who I am meant to be, gay is who I accept to be.


I often wonder how they expect for GAY men like me not to take up the mantle and become that STRONG archetype of a MAN who is gay. How could we not? Think about it…Homosexuality is that hidden self, that secret self, that part of our being that isn’t defined by secrets OR sexuality…But by the heart. We are those ‘SPECIAL’ persons who know about dealing with the internal and the external whether we want to or not because we have NO other choice. We know how to soothe the spirit of turmoil AND purge the crippleness of self-hatred. We have puked out the mess for all to see in order for us to destroy the very human need to classify and label ourselves. We are naturally this way because when you are outcast it brings you closer to God; we walk the path that Jesus walked. We are praised as long as we don’t claim who we truly are and literally crucified when we make our GAY PROCLAMATION!


I am a man first and a homosexual second, I am not defined by who I exercise my right to copulate with; the rest of the world does not so why should I? As a same gender loving man, I am oppressed. As a man, I have been shunned, abused and rendered invisible for being same sex prone. From the cradle I was made to understand from society at large and too frequently my own family, that the man I am was wrong and unacceptable. This is relentless denial of our humanity, our GOD GIVEN POTENTIAL and right we have to live a life we so wish. If we are made in GOD’S image why would we have retreated from large portions of ourselves? So, we won’t internalize this supposing Christian model of experience that made us see ‘homophobia’ as ‘right.’ We won’t internalize this culture’s homophobia and ignorance that try to make us believe that we are invalid. How can you make me hate myself for tapping into my female energies? It took both a MAN & WOMAN to create me so naturally I will find my balance.


We should rejoice in being the people we are. We are the honorable image of mankind…The defiant ones, the ones that refuse to be anything other than what is natural to us. We are the root, stability and resilience of the whole being. There is value placed on us that makes those who can’t deal with themselves feel like they are the strange ones. So naturally it makes sense to make us look like we are not what life is supposed to be about. Even though we are classified as the epitome of God’s abomination; we are not going away. Our uniqueness as a same gender loving group of persons makes us the WITCHES & GATE-KEEPERS to the next world.


We are the world’s rebirth; we carry with us the sense of hope and renewal. We are the sun the start of each new day, we are that first sliver of dawn paints the horizon, gradually spreading our color. We illuminate the world, inspiring birds to song and the change of each season. I am afraid because if we are not embraced before we fade, life itself will be lost, we are the homage to temporary-permanence…We are going to be the LAST GROUP OF PEOPLE STANDING. We are surrounded by deep water and the world is trying to drown us. But we refuse to give up and we will keep our head above water; our purpose on this planet is too important.


So as you try make us bargain with God, asking him to change things that we cannot, asking him to destroy what we agreed to before entering this planet, asking him not to try us for another day…We know better, we know that life isn’t only what happens here but what occurs after…So as we beg and plead for just one more stay, God listens to us as we cry out in pain and confusion. He reassures us that there exist restrictions to a force, that even the most powerful may apply without destroying themselves and judging this limit is the true artistry of your humanity. Misuse of power is the fatal sin and our sexual identity cannot be a tool of vengeance, nor a fortification against the martyr it has created. This is our story; we have to fulfill our destiny! We have to substitute our pain and confusion with self love, for our sexual identity is apart of the journey to finding “HIM.” WE ARE THE NEXT STEP IN THE CHAIN OF EVOLUTION, WE ARE THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT!

                                                                                




4 comments:

  1. i think this was probably the most well written, introspective, emotionally in depth piece i've read on a blog in a long time.

    my eyes were LITERALLY watering by the end.

    thank u man...i needed this

    ReplyDelete
  2. Interesting entry, but I am still a tad bit confused or without opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Q - YOU ARE SO WELCOME...I AM GLAD THAT YOU RELATE SO WELL WITH THIS ENTRY...

    WONDER MAN - THANK YOU...

    CHET - WHAT HAS YOU CONFUSE?

    ReplyDelete

THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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