¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Monday, 15 June 2009

¿A FRIEND IN NEED OR SELFISH?


So yesterday I got a phone call from a friend of mine asking me if I got his text message. I told him no and then proceed to relay the message which was asking me if I’d cook today? I don’t know if Sunday dinner is a tradition where you guys are from, but here in the Caribbean this is like the sun rising and setting for us…So ask he asked me the question I smiled because he and I had a conversation about this very same thing on Friday. You see during this conversation I told him about protocol and etiquette that I follow when it comes to showing up OR calling another’s house when seeking their hospitality. It was during that time that I told him that I don’t live alone and my room-mate and I plan our meals for the week ahead. Now I know that @ the end of day food is only shit, but being unemployed lace I like to make sure that I am safe guarding myself as best as I possibly can…So I told him I would let him know what my answer was going to be in regards to request for a meal from me. I enjoyed my movie (go see THE HANGOVER btw) and soon after I know that I had to give him an answer. He is down on his luck right now and I helped him in the past, but I can’t help but wonder if there should be limit to my generosity? I have NO problems giving him a meal, but I was conflicted because a week or two ago I’d asked him for $50 dollar loan he said it was fine and that he’ll give it to me when we go to the movies that weekend…So after transferring some credits from my cell to his, I didn’t hear from him for almost a week…I texted and call him, but I got nothing…I was worried so I called a mutual friend of ours and he hadn’t heard anything from him. So I decided to sit and wait for him to surface because they ALWAYS do…So almost a week later his call came in and he told me that he was going through some stress and that he just needed to get away (fine with me) but I couldn’t help but wonder if he couldn’t use some of the credit that I transferred to him to let me know that? Let me know that you are unable to accommodate me so I can go elsewhere to seek help. I know that people think that my life is quite fine because I eat everyday and I still have my car, but come live with me and see is what I say to them…After searching my heart I gave him the food, but not before letting him know that this was his second strike and that I didn’t appreciate him putting me in this type of situation because he felt that I would help him out (his first strike was showing up to my house last week with that idiot boy who calls himself a thug last week)…MY HEART GOES OUT TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANET & I WISH I COULD HELP THEM ALL, BUT I KNOW I CAN’T…SO THE ONES THAT I CAN HELP HOW DO DETERMINE IF THEY REALLY NEED MY HELP OR IF THEY ARE BEING SELFISH BY SIMPLY REORGANIZING HOW I LIVE?


13 comments:

  1. This can be hard. I know Christ said "give to all who ask". HOWEVER, it is so hard when you think people are taking advantage. It makes you jaded and angry. But you found the perfect solution-you opened your heart but let your friend know there are conditions (to protect yourself and not to enable him)

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  2. I usually follow my instincts in this kinda situation and learn the limitations of generosity.

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  3. Limits are a hard thing indeed - but once you have gotten there and you recognize it then half the battle is done

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  4. If your not a "captain save em" than you got to leave them alone if there showing a pattern.

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  5. Im still trying to burn my cape.

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  6. I think you did right, but I wouldn't be giving too many more chances.

    I like helping people too, but there is a limit. Some people get too comfortable, and take advantage and this might just be that person.

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  7. awww your heart goes out to me...no wait am I single?? hahaha, anyways he is a true good for nothing jerk. I wouldnt have given him a damn thing.


    Kishna, YOU are really a good true friend...so do you have that $50.00 I needed to borrow last week...lol

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  8. btw............Im feeling ol boy on the pic...muah!!

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  9. The brother and so many like him are just selfish and only tend to look-out for themselves. There are rules when it comes to friendship just like anything else in life, and the rules should be applied or followed.

    First and formost a real friend respects their friends and doesn't put demands on their friends.

    Secondly never lend or borrow monies from friends it creates problems, give a friend the money and if they pay it back proves their loyalty, of ourse there are times when ou have no choice, but to borrow and if that happens sign an agreement (promissary note).

    Real friends don't have to ask they already know what it is you are in need of, but sometimes friends will cconceal their needs which makes it harder for the other friend or friends to know their needs.

    It is obvious you are a good friend, you will be blessed.

    BTW Sunday is a big day for dinner in most places.

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  10. I think its a touch and go scenario. you gotta feel them out and see what their motives are. Just wait and the motives always surface. They always do! :-)

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  11. I've had to shut the door on a lot of people. Metaphorically speaking. Because one way relationships aren't helping me.

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  12. THOMAS - I THINK THAT @ THIS POINT MY THOUGHTS WON'T MATTER...

    JEREMY - MY INSTINCTS ARE SAYING THAT I NEED TO BACK AWAY...

    MUSICMAN – I AGREE WITH YOU CAUSE I AM SO THERE…

    CLNMIKE – I USE TO WISH THAT I COULD SAVE OTHERS, BUT NOW…I BURNT MY CAPE YEARS AGO…

    SOZO – YOU ARE RIGHT…

    DUSTY BOOT – YEAH TOO NICE…

    OYIN – COME FOR THE FIFTY BABES…

    CHET – I THINK I’LL MAKE YOU MY FRIEND…

    FUZZY – I HAVE & I KNOW WHAT MY NEXT MOVE IS…

    MECHADUDE2001 – I’VE CLOSED A FEW DOORS MYSELF…

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