¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

THE RELATIONSHIP JOURNEY

Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don’t have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship. We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and take unique forms. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships…we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven’t found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order and, therefore, right now your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Maybe all this time has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven’t worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships. Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. The journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.

17 comments:

  1. Now thats some real shit there...

    getting to know ourselves first, learning to love ourselve, and making sure that we respect ourselves first...cos who else will if we dont.

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  2. I like that last line too....better ourselves to get the better relationship...hmm, something to think about!!

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  3. You're right. But then sometimes life can get very discouraging when you go through that process. Especially when you see your friends in some of the almost near perfect relationships there is is life. And yet you keep getting burned in situations that seemed like you were following your heart or inner voice.

    What advice you have for those kind of individuals?

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  4. I must say that I totally agree. I think with the absence of this we open ourselves up to many failed experiences. But I think you are saying more to our approach as well 'cause strong relationships have to have a strong foundation which requires lots of work and is indeed the most time consuming but once that's present anything can be built on that foundation and it will last a lifetime

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  5. There's a song from Phantom of the Opera called 'Learn to be Lonely' I think it's important for us to be able to be with ourselves successfully and only then can we truly be with someone else

    This is Beyoncé's version:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCKysK03RnA

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  6. For me this makes alot of sence. Right about now im trying to work on me to get me to a place where the void inside of me if filled. I have looked for other people to recognize the potential in me. Without fully appreciating myself. its time to change that.

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  7. This is my first time posting. I absolutely love this post. It couldn't have come at a better time for me. This really made me feel better as I've kinda become depressed about never had being in a relationship and finding anyone while watching my friends be in there's or finding someone they like at a drop of a hat. I wanted to give up on love completely. Thank you so much Gayte-Keeper, i mean that from the bottom of my heart.

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  8. I wonder what kind of space you were in (or is it just me?) when you were writing this post. Your thoughts are so clear and calm and 'matter of fact'. Everything flows just as it should.

    I don't have anything more to add except to say I'm in accordance with everything in this post.

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  9. And I am well on my way toward appreciating myself... even when others don't. So for the most part it is applicable to me and I can take this as motivation.

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  10. KIN'SHAR - I AM GLAD YOU LIKED THIS ENTRY BECAUSE YOU WERE ON MY MIND WHEN I WROTE IT...I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING THAT...

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  11. TRU3LOGIC - I AM GLAD THIS MADE SENSE BECAUSE I WANTED TO CAPTURE IN THIS ENTRY

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  12. SHALLOTTE - MY THOUGHTS WERE CLEAR & THIS ENTRY CAME EASY BECAUSE I WAS IN A PLACE WHERE I DIDN'T DO THIS AND I ENDED UP IN SITUATIONS THAT WEREN'T GOOD FOR ME...NOW I CAN USE MY PAIN N' GIVE HOPE TO OTHERS...

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  13. XIVINRAH - YOU OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE WAS THE FOCUS OF THIS BLOG ENTRY...YOU HAVE A FIRE THAT YOU LET OTHERS DISTINGUISH & THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING...I FIND IT AMAZING HOW YOU'VE PRETTY MUCH GIVEN UP BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN STARTED ON THIS JOURNEY...ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WE LEARN A LOT ABOUT OURSELVES FROM LOVING OTHERS & NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND...

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  14. AGENTOFLOVE - I AM GLAD THAT YOU CAME ON THIS DAY @ THIS TIME & YOU FOUND SOMETHING THAT IS HELPFUL FOR YOU...EVEN THOUGH MOST OF US FEEL LIKE LOVE ISN'T WORTH IT OR IT IS JUST TOO MUCH TO BEAR, WE MUST REMEMBER THAT WE WILL GET WHAT WE PUT INTO IT...IT'S JUST THAT IT WON'T NECESSARILY BE WITH THE PERSON(S) WE FEEL IT SHOULD COME FROM

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  15. I LOVE THIS POST AND I AGREE 100% WITH IT.HOW CAN YOU LOVE AND WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF?
    THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A RELATIONSHIP- AS A RELATIONSHIP IS A BEAUTIFUL THING- BUT ARE YOU EQUIPPED FOR A RELATIONSHIP AND DO YOU HAVE WHAT IS REQUIRED TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK.
    THESE ARE IMPORTANT AND TIMELY QUESTIONS WE NEED TO ASK BEFORE CONSIDERING A RELATIONSHIP. IT CANNOT BE EMPHASIZED ENOUGH THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST AND FOREMOST BEFORE YOU WORK ON A RELATIONSHIP. LOVE YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING ELSE WOULD FALL INTO PLACE. IT BEGINS WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!

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  16. soooo agreeing with Ossie. I didnt know you ever think of me...lol

    Just kidding, I just have to think outside the box...about these half ass niggas. Outside the box is "ME"...and nothing but me...I have to do for me and love me (ME FIRST)

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

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