¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Thursday, 13 November 2008

HOMOSEXUALITY IS NO LAUGHING MATTER...

A few weeks ago I was @ one of our local banks and while sitting and waiting to served, I couldn’t help but overhear a group women enjoy themselves a GREAT laugh. It was SO funny that they kept on repeating the conversation and laughing uncontrollably and when the laughing stopped I came to realize that they were actually mimicking a co-worker of theirs who is actually gay. What amazed me is that that they kept calling his name, imitating him in such a feminine fashion not knowing that I know of the gentleman that was the butt of their jokes. This made me see how AND why SO many GAY have such an ambivalent attitude towards their sexuality. Situations like this shows how gay men privately worry they are somehow deficient in the manliness department, no matter how unfeminine they appear to be. So what is homosexuality anyway? Is it the mere mockery of a group of persons due to a set behavioral characteristic? Is it simply reduced to the sexual activities of the persons involved? Or is it a group of persons that has a one-way ticket to hell? Whatever you choose, it pays to note that NONE of these could ever paint fair picture of who we are. So when I think about how much FUN they were having @ their co-workers expense, I couldn’t help but feel that they are ASSUMING that we SECRETLY want to be women. I wonder if we somehow encourage this type of behavior when we call one another GIRL or SHE? Or is this OUR way of DEFUSING the hate directed toward us? I remember growing up and being taunted with words like SISSY, which imply that I am deficient in the masculinity department. Which brings me to another point; do the images of gay men in the media create this joke where we are the punch line? It is SO easy to over-generalize when it comes to us that I think that people FORGET that we are indeed human. It is SO sad that they wound us AND themselves when they act in this manner. How can society think of masculinity as something that resides outside of they gay man? THIS SITUATION SHOWED ME THAT SOCIETY’S VIEW HAS BECOME TOO NARROW & TOO FOCUSED ON THE PHYSICAL AS WELL THE BEHAVIORAL ASPECTS OF MOST GAY MEN. IT IS MY BELIEF THAT A BROADER SENSE OF WHAT IT MEANT TO BE GAY CAN CULTIVATE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE JUST A MAN…IF ONLY WE COULD STOP LAUGHING LONG TO RECOGNIZE THIS…

16 comments:

  1. That is really sad... :( My grandmother thinks that just because I am really passionate about not liking girls (physically) nothing personal toward them, she feels like just because I am a little feminine and embrace that side of me that I am secretly jealous of them and want to be like them. It's this kind of ignorance that limits our relationship. I used to have plenty of female friends... the only reason I haven't been able to keep ALL of them is because I moved away from where I used to live... into the pits where I had on eyeliner and the dudes were STILL convinced I was straight. LMAO... (sigh...)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hear the very same crude jokes and comments all the time and it makes me mad. An effeminate guy passes by and people stare and joke about how he is. What must the poor guy do about it? It demonstrates backwardness and lack of compassion on the part of the person making those comments. I can never understand it how some people can be so cruel and inhumane?! But Gayte-keeper, why do I feel like you're protesting too much? Some people will cling stubbornly to their opinions no matter how hard you try to educate them. You can shout from the top of Mount Everest and they will still be unwilling to see a different side to things. Period. And this masculinity versus femininity debate is just plain ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I meant to say you seem to be pleading too much, not protesting.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hi! i just want to tell you i have been reading since a lot of time your blog and it is absolutely terrific!!! your are a man with a big heart a good mind and show true sincerity and seems very comfortable with the way you live.With all my heart i wish you all the best and i would be very happy to see you some day would you come to Paris or should i come to Nassau!!! Patrick Dorman

    ReplyDelete
  5. SHALLOTTE - I get your point but I didn't think that I was pleading...I just wrote base upon what I saw and how it made me feel...the thing I LOVE about writing is that we can get different elements from the same thing...but as always I thank you for you insight you do make me think about your comments and I wonder if what you say is true...so thank you again...

    ReplyDelete
  6. XIVINRAH - we both know that your grandmother is from that time n' place where it has to be this or that...bless her heart because she doesn't know or realizes that she is missing out on getting to know her LOVELY grandson..:(

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree when Shallotte's comment that they are unwilling to see things differently. In situations like this I believe that the only way to educate someone is to show them how it feels. All people have some insecurity. Discrimination to me is a group thought that is perpetuated with out any true facts. I always think of the Brown Eye Blue Eye experiement. This experiment gives others a feeling of what discrimination really feels like.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well I never had to deal with teasing or anything like that because the way that I was raised. I've never left the masculine part of me because this is all I know. There are some gays who act feminine "just cuz". But this lifestyle is not a game, by no means.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree wholeheartedly especially with your last statement which is boldened and capitalized. What is important oftentimes is that some gay men tend to embrace the effeminate role even after being subjected to the taunts from heterosexuals. I agree with joop, that who we are is not a game and it is unfortunate that those women who laugh really are unaware of what that man goes through and who he REALLY IS AND NOT WHAT HIS BEHAVIOR PERCEIVES HIM TO BE. However, at the end of the day, all of us as gay men just have to keep moving. Be us and live life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You know what, a lot of women feel threatened by gay men. They somehow feel like they are competing with us. The catty woman syndrome come out. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to be a woman--I couldn't see it. I've even had women tell me that "I'm what you are trying to be...". It's sad when you have to put up with that from a woman. WOW!

    ReplyDelete
  11. People kill me. When it comes to this topic we tend to take it as a personal attack on the entire homosexual population. now i will never condone making someone else the butt of a joke. Q's comment is so true i think that most woman are a lil intimidated by a gay man...cus they probably dont know if their man had a choice would they pick them or the gay boy they work with lol. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I agree with you but I would also add that people like to feel that they are somehow better than others. The ridiculing is just their way of saying I am better than he is or better than they are - that's something that we have to fight against no matter what... something that I try to ignore for the most part

    ReplyDelete
  13. I agree.

    I still wrestle with my own self perception. I do not display feminine traits, so muuch that on several occasions in the past I have been in SGL clubs and have had brothas come up and ask me if I was gay. I am like wow I did not even think I came off so masculine 'cause I do not wear urban thug gear (like that means anything nowadays).

    BTW- You Mr. the gayte-keeper should consider an alternate career of photo editor. You post images that I never see on any other blog. Good Work.

    Obsessed fan. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey Gayte, where do you find such cuties..... loving this man (^_^)

    ReplyDelete
  15. u lie! big grown ass ladies finding jokes in mimicking the way someone talks.
    pure foolishness!
    Its people like that I can't deal with, close mindedness is a major pet peeve for me.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am sure that a lot of us were ridiculed or made fun growing up if we somehow demonstrated what was deemed to be feminine traits. I know i was called sissy and a lot of other stuff. I was just being me and I saw nothing wrong with the way i acted and couldn't fathom why I was being made fun of or why people said such hurtful things to me.
    Sadly we live in a society that condones and tolerates this behavior and thus people assume it is perfectly acceptable to ridicule others who they assume are gay.It is ignorance of the highest order and should be condemned. Be strong in who you are my brothers and sisters,we are all beautiful and are all God's creations, LOVE AND EMBRACE WHO UR AND DON'T LET THIS IGNORANCE AFFECT UR SELF ESTEEM.

    ReplyDelete

THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE...

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails