¡We can no longer be a bunch of empty minds living in critical times refusing to recognize real lies!

Monday 30 April 2007

LOVE: THE HARD WAY...

It is a basic human desire to seek out love and if it weren't, most of us would live as hermits. Humans are social creatures; when we're younger, we yearn for friends and acceptance. As we grow older, we yearn to find that special someone to share our lives with, for companionship, emotional support, maybe even to start our own families. But in seeking this basic need, one has to get it from the beginning of one’s life; one has to receive this nurturing and comfort from within their very own families. And why shouldn’t it come from these persons? Families are forever, you are born into families and you die with families around. Families go way back in history. All of us have ancestors. There is no getting away from them. They are there, and good or bad, they will never go away. In the media, all of us have often heard or seen a ‘TYPICAL’ family being portrayed and there seems to be so much LOVE and SUPPORT that one thinks that this is the way families are suppose to be. I am not saying that this picture is wrong, I am just saying from my point of view and where I live that doesn’t exist. How does one know if your family really loves you? Do they just love you because it’s expected? Families LOVE HARD AND STRONG and it makes me sometimes think if they realize that sometimes SOFT and GENTLE is all that’s needed. Love is expressed in many ways and without kind words or warm smile how is one to say they know they are loved? Why are we as a people so hard on each other? Why is it especially in this part of the world so difficult for LOVE to be shown? As blacks we had a life that was hard and showing weakness was not a good thing; so did this make us not show LOVE to each other? Did I not receive the LOVE I craved because we grew up poor? Poverty is the single most powerful risk for families and children and affects families in many ways. So did this impact me during my preschool years? Was I affected by ‘HARD LOVE’ from such a tender age? Was I not shown LOVE because my family lacked the ability to provide educational and cultural experiences for me? Did I not receive adequate LOVE because of my family’s economic status? Did they not LOVE themselves because he didn’t have adequate housing, a safe environment, and responsible child? Did my mother and father not get LOVE from their parents during their childhood, thus not knowing how to give it to their offspring? I am aware that financial hardships, social and emotional strain, can disrupt family life; but are those things really important in grand scheme of life? How or why should a child lack effect parenting because the quality of the parent’s life isn’t what they want? I think back and all I can remember are SHADOWS OF MY SMILES, ECHOES OF MY LAUGHS AND SKELETONS OF MY TEARS AND FEARS…ALL FOR WHAT PURPOSE? Why was I abused emotionally? Why did this destructive force seek to give heighten my anxiety, depression and lower my self-esteem? WHY DID THEY LOVE ME SO HARD; THUS NOT LOVING ME AT ALL? They tell me that families are important and my heritage not only includes who our ancestors are but also the ones brought into our families by marriage. I wish I could say that I can look at the average family and say that LOVE is there. I wish I could say that encouragement…understanding ... hope ... comfort ... advice ... values ... morals all existed but I can’t. In this world we’ve been told to laugh at our mistakes and that we could be just a little proud of learning from them. We have been taught to enjoy the people we know and to appreciate the beauty of nature. We have learned by watching the examples before us. We're told to try out new things, to laugh and enjoy life, to try harder or try again, to appreciate what we have, to help those who are less fortunate, to make friends, to be a friend and to honor God and our country. We've been taught honor and respect. Pity the one thing that needed to be easy was LOVE and that was given, is given with toughness associated with pain and hurt. I WISH THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO LOOK AND FAMILY AND WONDER DO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER? I WISH THAT WAS EVIDENTLY SEEN…

Sunday 29 April 2007

¿SAFE SEX: IS THERE A PROBLEM?

Studies show that gay men fall into three groups: those who take HIV risks frequently, very rarely, and not at all. Three out of four gay men are in the latter two groups. Hence homosexual men remain the group at the greatest risk of getting infected with HIV. The primary mode of transmission of HIV between men is through anal sex without a condom. For young gay men there may be particular problems with trying to practice safer sex. Some young gay men may not feel secure about obtaining or using extra strong condoms for anal sex because if they are seen purchasing or in possession of them it might be interpreted as a disclosure of gay identity. They also rarely have the benefit of sex education in school in which sexual behaviour between same-sex partners is discussed. This can make it very hard for young gay men to feel comfortable about negotiating safer sex. Some young gay men believe that having fewer partners and being monogamous is adequate protection against HIV. This may explain why some young men are getting infected because it's within these relationships that some of them are having unprotected anal sex. This is often on the basis of assumed negative HIV status. Why are so many gay men tempted to play this game of Russian roulette? Why is this happening? Surely, gay men know better and the word has been out for years now. Among some men, there seems to be a conscious or unconscious desire not to survive the epidemic. Is this due to depression, anxiety, loneliness or hopelessness about the future? Repeated losses leave most men uncaring about their own future; they are beaten down by the epidemic. Too often, we see AIDS as a "GAY DISEASE." And this "HOMOSEXUALIZATION" of AIDS causes confusion between being gay and being HIV+. Hence some men appear to believe that no gay man will survive the epidemic, so safer sex guidelines become irrelevant. The overwhelming nature of the epidemic and its decimation of the gay community lead some men to conclude that AIDS is their fate. They feel helpless in the face of so much loss. I feel that unconscious internalized homophobia may induce some men to believe that because they are GAY, they will get AIDS as a matter of fate, retribution or punishment. TALK ABOUT THE DWINDLING OF SELF-ESTEEM…All gay men, it seems to me, struggle to some degree or another with this issue. And when self-esteem falters, the desire to take care of yourself and others can also lessen. Thus, for many homosexual men, the unsafe sexual practice of all is the one that is most satisfying, both physically and emotionally. Anal intercourse is a way of deeply bonding and for many is the expression of closest intimacy. Here we see that both internal and external homophobia has tended to trivialize gay male sexual expression. Too many casually dismiss the importance of anal intercourse as an expression of intimacy. And thus they minimize the problems associated with safer sex techniques. However, there is a complex of social, political and internal psychological forces at work today in the GAY COMMUNITY. These factors need to be understood and addressed, if the spread of HIV is to be stopped from further destroying the GAY COMMUNITY. Until such AIDS will continue to attack society and will deeply impact the world.

Saturday 28 April 2007

¿CHOMBRES JUNTO?

The male to male relationship in human society is the most fundamental and important type of human relationship because it is not only the cornerstone of strength, but also the unique bond in the principally perfect union of the two complementary halves of humanity. As such, this bond is special and its unique qualities should be acknowledged and strengthened, not denied nor degraded by regarding it simply as merely a ‘LIFE STYLE’ choice or ‘SOMETHING TO DO’ in the mean time. MAN ON MAN relations are important to this world and thus I feel that MEN can make a relationship work. Some may tell you that to make such a relationship successful, one must make it all about LOVE & TRUST, some say it's all about giving ATTENTION & TIME and some say it like having a child to rise. These things are all true and needed, but if one doesn’t have the each other in common it won’t work or last. So a relationship is like a child that has to be taught how to talk & walk until it becomes mature enough to LIVE, BREATH & GIVE THE ULTIMATE LOVE. A RELATIONSHIP between TWO MEN works like any other and should exists like a separate entity; linked solely by the one element that bonds two persons. We men are not devoid of emotions and are uncaring as the world would want us to be, WE are not all what the world tries to make of us. I do believe that there are men out there who understand the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on earth to love one another. There are MEN out there that know, believe and breathe the notion that MEN can make a relationship work with each other. These MEN are awaken to the true nature of self, and sees their relationship is a blessing. I strive to be such a MAN, a MAN that wants to fulfill HIS role on this planet…A MAN that knows and believes whole-heartedly that MEN can make a relationship work and thus successfully raise a family.

Friday 27 April 2007

IN & OUT!

A cock can’t curve to lightly dust the "A SPOT." A man has to be positioned at a certain angle. When I do think of sex, I don’t find myself envisioning a penis. The anticipation of intimacy, for me, relates to everything else that lies outside penetration. Once it’s in, and if it stays in throughout, then time dissolves, and the point of no return is reached within – an average – ten minutes (and that’s being generous) and I think that’s why porn exists. Take upon take of footage is shot in pieces, and added together to culminate into marathon penetration; I’ve been lucky to experience males that can go up to five position changes without needing to ejaculate. And that’s rare. What does a cock do? It has no muscles…a dangling piece of flesh really. Its significance is tied to a range of sexual formats: fertilization, procreation, penetration, domination, defilement, sodomy and the list goes on. It doesn’t move of its own accord, and it can’t change shape. If it did then a guy would be ‘bent out of shape’ and suffering extensive pain. I like it especially when it’s descending (depending on where you want to go) into the dark pit of the unknown. And I love how it’s presented to me and I just drop on my knees and worship it, I love when it’s instantaneously wet, and cum with the ferocity of a Concorde engine the second they slide it in…HMMM… IN AND OUT…FRONT, BACK, ON TOP, FROM BELOW, BEHIND…IN AND OUT!

Thursday 26 April 2007

MONOGA(ME)

MONOGAMY, is it meant for us? Is monogamy natural? These are just a few questions this topic brings to mind. This is something I’ve wondered about for a while now and I can’t help but feel that we are meant to be with just one person. However it must be with someone that has that mutual LOVE, UNDERSTANDING and TRUST present in the relationship. We all know that there are times when you meet that ‘SPECIAL’ person and you wouldn’t even look at another; if you do it isn’t with the same eyes. I feel that if you are in such a relationship then one can have a monogamous relationship. So what if you are not? What then? Does this mean that we are doomed to a life of a little bit here and there? Does this mean that we then now have to take what ever we can get and make the best of it? I am of the opinion that NO ONE WANTS TO JUST HAVE SEX BECAUSE HE/HER JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX. Sex is the way we share the physical part of ourselves with each other and this is best shared when there is a HONEST and REAL emotional attachment. So does that mean that if these elements exist within the relationship, does this mean that there isn’t a REAL connection? Normally, when we try to understand why affairs happen we look only at the reasons why a person might want to have an affair, such as the excitement of sexual variety. But this doesn't explain why affairs happen. People have affairs for a wide range of reasons, but their decision to act on those desires is the one thing that I could never understand. I know that MEN can have sex and not be attached, WOMEN can do it as well but I think for WOMEN because she has an entry point that makes it more serious for her. Meaning that because she is penetrated, she is very selective as to who she lets in her life in that way. So tell me is monogamy what we are hard-wired for emotionally and biologically? In one sense it goes against biology - monogamy limits the number of offspring. In one sense it goes for biology, a stable couple is probably better suited for raising offspring. We're raised with the expectation that we'll partner and settle down. There are certainly other benefits - stability, less emotional turmoil, the security that comes with commitment, some would argue happiness, financial stability, etc. I think that monogamy is an excellent thing, but that it can be undermined when people don't see it for what it is, a special thing that runs in some ways contrary to our baser natures. I think one of the biggest myths in our relationship-culture is the idea that once you fall in love and marry you'll all of the sudden become this person who never has a lustful thought that your spouse isn't in. But the body responds like the animal we are. These things pass quickly, and they're nothing to be ashamed of. For one thing it's not natural, and for another, how boring would that be? I suppose part of me still thinks that monogamy is a bit odd, in the way that it seems so against the way that people are wired to think about sex. And yet I also think that for me monogamy feels natural and desirable. I GUESS IT’S ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS THAT WE WILL NEVER TRULY GET AN ANSWER FOR....

Wednesday 25 April 2007

THE POLITICAL DIVIDE

Now that our general elections are a few days off, I like many Bahamians has chosen a party that I feel will run the country. The party I’ve chosen I feel is the party to run this country and the odd thing is that others don’t share my vision. Friends, family and co-workers alike all have their various reasons why they do/don’t support my choice. I find that as time goes on you will find persons that support your feelings on your party of choice welcome you with open arms. You will get warm and fuzzy greetings, persons will let you out of the corner because of the flags you have on your car. I find that I support the FNM because I feel that they want a Bahamas for Bahamians and the PLP doesn’t. I feel that they are only out for themselves and can’t seem to get their act together. But the odd thing for me is that I’ve noticed that the persons that support the PLP are mostly uneducated and live in what we deem poverty. The FNM is made for persons like me, persons that sought college education and fully understands a few things about how this country should be ran. I would be a fool to say that the present government hasn’t done anything for this country; but in the same vain they have more bad than good attached to their reputation. Hence I can’t in all good conscience support them. No matter how it’s sliced and diced, if I look at the persons nominated I still can’t support the PLP for they give us the same persons that didn’t do anything for their respective areas. Hence we have persons that can’t see this and thus they get all violent and cause serious problems for our country during this election period. This country has persons that takes this very serious, too serious in fact and can’t seem to respect someone else’s choice that isn’t their own. Hence we had the defacing of the campaign poster of Neko Grant, the FNM candidate for the Lucaya constituency in Grand Bahama, a fire that caused extensive damage to the campaign office of FNM Mount Moriah candidate Tommy Turnquest and the PLP’S office had a bullet hole in the window. These occurrences have the potential to result in the kind of election violence that is foreign to the conduct of elections in The Bahamas. This is indeed a frightening thought, given the fact that the increasing number of illegal guns on the streets of The Bahamas has been a growing concern for the Royal Bahamas Police Force in recent years. Violence of this nature certainly would be out of character for Bahamians, but it only takes a couple of political fanatics with demented minds to start a series of tit-for-tat actions that could escalate into serious violence. The damage that this would do to our tourism industry is limitless. It would, therefore, force our political leaders to make it perfectly clear to their respective party supporters that they do not condone vandalism of any kind during the campaign. The onus is on candidates on both sides of the political divide to discourage their supporters from becoming overzealous during this election campaign to the extent that they engage in acts that could trigger reprisals from one side or the other. And those who are inclined to utter provocative remarks that could be interpreted by their supporters as an invitation to resort to vandalism should guard their tongues and think about the ultimate consequences of their irresponsible statements. Whatever it takes, therefore, the political leaders in this country must do everything in their power to prevent the coming general election from being marred by serious violence similar to what is common in Jamaica.

Tuesday 24 April 2007

GAY DOLLAR

At its most basic, money is a tool that enables us to meet our individual needs. As a form of potential energy that empowers us to generate change, it is neither good nor bad. We GAYS are familiar with being different, but our financial situations are also different from the ones modeled by those within society at larger. We have more money to spend and no families or other typical commitments that we must meet. Ironically, the lack of advertising/marketing attention towards the gay/lesbian community is money down the drain. “We are a huge community with great spending power,” we are persons with great jobs, education and healthy relationships. We own houses and purchase expensive cars and are frequent travelers, extremely concerned about grooming and fashion, and are avid fans of music. However our society doesn’t recognize this potential ‘GOLD MINE’ and doesn’t try to tap into this market. Hence, we face the major challenges of not being recognized as a viable marketing niche. So who's to blame, for such a vast oversight? Are HOMOPHOBIC marketers really at fault? In actuality the answer is a bit more complicated and two-fold in nature. Ironically, this situation lies parallel to what exists today within the mainstream community where there's a lack of diversity and outreach to the GAY community. Further, when everyone sitting at the advertising decision table all look the same, what usually occurs is more of the same type of advertising and marketing directives. So I am of the opinion that as more gay/lesbian people come out the closet and begin to publicly self-identify as gay, the face and voice of the gay dollar will soon begin to transform. Therein lies the distinct possibility of gays not only being consumers of gay focused products and services but instead becoming leaders of the direction of gay focused products and services. As we forge further, the possibilities of the potential power of the ‘GAY DOLLAR’ appear to just now be awakening and emerging in the corners of my mind, the only thing left is for US to make society take US seriously and invest in community that will sure provide profit beyond measure.

Monday 23 April 2007

WHAT'S IN A KISS?

I compare a KISS to an art display; the front window of an art gallery will alter each time a particular artist is showcased, and each object in the window represents a wide array of concepts, not to mention mediums, that an observer views. I think a KISS is similar. There’s a lot more synergy happening with the mouth. Firstly, the muscle sets involved in a simple bout of ‘French’ is staggering and all work to caress, explore and vary the tongue’s tempo. The first kiss is important as it greases the wheels, gives a person a taste of their partner’s repertoire and/or refinement, opening the door to penetration. I don’t remember the look or dynamic of the first cock that entered my life, or me, but I do remember the first adult kiss, and every other kiss that followed but if you ask me about each penis, then I’ll enter a fugue state because they all blend in together. When I jumped into my first kiss, I had visions of sex in my mind. He leaned over, opened his lips and planted one on me. It went through various phases: tentative, urgent, soft, hard, deep, flirty, his tongue knew no bounds, and I thought if sex was like this, like a tongue, then it would be a heavenly ride because I successfully received his tongue repeatedly as his essence worked my insides, traveling through the warm depths of my soul. This foreplay is important, because it’s something that a penis is incapable of doing all on its own. The tongue, on the other, can alter its shape at will or, like one of those revolutionary tooth brushes, get at angles that a cock can only dream of. I think of the kiss, the initial interactions that unfold. Everything from the gaze, to the first brush of lip on lip, or flesh against flesh and it’s not purely about love, or romance. It’s about anticipation, or the idea that I’m going to unwrap something special, or arrive to a sacred ground of sorts and experience something unique and for me, there is nothing more unique than the sexual fingerprint of that kiss.

Sunday 22 April 2007

EARTH DAY

WHAT IS EARTH DAY?
Earth Day is a day to celebrate our Mother the Earth, this planet of ours that is unique certainly in our solar system and probably rare in our galaxy and universe, in that it can sustain life. It is a day to say a special thank you to Nature by doing something nice for her. Many groups and individuals take this day to plant trees, do pollution clean up, etc.

WHAT IS GLOBAL WARMING?

We are destroying the planet. Each and every one of us is responsible for our actions and behaviors that have led to pollution, global warming and destruction of nature. Carbon dioxide and other gases warm the surface of the planet naturally by trapping solar heat in the atmosphere. This is a good thing because it keeps our planet habitable. However, by burning fossil fuels such as coal, gas and oil and clearing forests we have dramatically increased the amount of carbon dioxide in the Earth’s atmosphere and temperatures are rising. The vast majority of scientists agree that global warming is real, it’s already happening and that it is the result of our activities and not a natural occurrence. The evidence is overwhelming and undeniable. We’re already seeing changes. Glaciers are melting, plants and animals are being forced from their habitat, and the number of severe storms and droughts is increasing. The number of Category 4 and 5 hurricanes has almost doubled in the last 30 years. The flow of ice from glaciers in Greenland has more than doubled over the past decade. At least 279 species of plants and animals are already responding to global warming, moving closer to the poles. Global sea levels could rise by more than 20 feet with the loss of shelf ice in Greenland and Antarctica, devastating coastal areas worldwide. The Arctic Ocean could be ice free in summer by 2050. More than a million species worldwide could be driven to extinction by 2050.

WHAT CAN I DO?

While we could never stop the natural cycles of warming and cooling in the climate happening we can reduce our own personal contribution There are many things that you as an individual can do. These include: Be energy efficient in your choices. There are many energy efficient alternatives to every day items, whether it be a compact fluorescent light bulb, a more effective refrigerator, or a hybrid car the smallest change will have a big impact on climate change. Use renewable sources of energy and make your home more energy efficient. There are often tax incentives and long term savings to be made by switching to renewable sources of energy. If you are in the US you can visit http://www.dsireusa.org to see the various grants and incentives available in your state. Educate yourself and others. There are a whole host of websites with information on climate change. The more you know the bigger, more effective difference you can make in your community.

Saturday 21 April 2007

'THE "BAHAMIAN" DREAM'

We're all familiar with the idea of the American Dream. It’s a myth; and the idea that a person can go from rags to riches. And it's a myth that's founded on a sort of reality. The idea is a simple one, a strong one and no matter whom you are what you start with, you have an opportunity, a chance to go from zero to a million in the short space of a lifetime. Similarly here in the Bahamas, we have a dream; though not of super stardom or fame, we undoubtedly want a life full of MONEY and nothing but SUN, SAND and SEA. The thing that separates us from the USA is the fact that OUR dreams are more realistic and can be achieved with hard work and determination. In America THEY achieve their dreams via vehicles such as REALITY SHOWS with thoughts of FORTUNE and FAME. I like many others in the Bahamas doesn’t seek this sort of life, I want enough to live in a nice environment and be able to afford the things that would maintain my life and make me happy. The Bahamian Dream is so powerful, to my mind, because as a society, we started not from zero, but from a negative number. The present black Bahamian upper class is comprised of people who were born into poverty, or of people whose parents were raised with next to nothing in their pockets. For some of them, they have gone from zero to a million in the space of three and a half decades — the precise time it's been possible for a Bahamian of any complexion, but especially of African heritage — to participate creatively and meaningfully in the economy. I can name our own successes: entrepreneurs like Tiger Finlayson and Franklyn Wilson and Myles Munroe and Neil Ellis spring immediately to mind. Now, countless Bahamians of eminently humble backgrounds and limited prospects have drastically improved their standard of living. Men and women who, when they were born, could look forward to little more than a basic education in one of the few public schools have become doctors and lawyers and politicians and preachers and stars. As a Bahamian tell me what's your definition of ‘THE BAHAMIAN DREAM?’ Does it involve money? Does it involve love? Does it involve healthiness? First of all, what is your my idea of a “PERFECT LIFE?” It’s full of happiness, money, love, food, cars, whatever you desire; coupled with a good job and spare time for family and friends. I believe that when it comes to living a so called “PERFECT LIFE” there is nothing more important than having a good balance. So I ask does the “PERFECT LIFE” have to include money, cars and fancy things? Why place such high importance on acquiring wealth? What does this prove? How do these things richly enhance your life? Affording a big house that will make the fire bigger on ‘JUDGEMENT DAY.’ Buying expensive material things that will be out by next season. How about indulging your every desire, funny that will last until you climax. Please inform me as to how this can make you a better person. When talking about living out this dream, many people would consider it to be a worry free life. When people think about their ‘BAHAMIAN DREAM’ they tend to be idealistic instead of being realistic. So I ask what exactly does it take to live a “PERFECT LIFE?” I am aware that is a question that has no right or wrong answer; it simply depends on whom you are asking. A love for mankind, being a good person and living your life ‘CHRIST LIKE’ is my idea of the ‘BAHAMIAN DREAM’ what’s yours?

Friday 20 April 2007

SPIRIT KNOW SPIRIT


I find it uncanny how WE SAME GENDER LOVING PEOPLE have this intuition; this six-sense enables us to clearly identify one of OUR own. The ability or supernatural power possessed by gay men and lesbians to detect gayness in others is highly effective, especially if the object is in the near vicinity. We could be across the room from each other, we could be walking down the street, in an elevator or even in church and our souls would recognize each other. Similar to Spiderman’s Spidey-sense, except where Spiderman's spidey-sense detects imminent danger; OUR six-sense detects a homosexual nearby, either through hearing the tone of one's voice or observing the style of their movement, which sets off the realization that this person may prefer members of the same sex. This six-sense isn't a physical device but rather a small part of the brain used to factor characteristics we as gay people know all TOO well. Now we can pretty tell which ones are OBVIOUSLY gay, this entry is about the ones that we don’t see with the naked eye. These persons give off various signs and signals about their sexuality depending on the environment in which they are in at the time and the crazy thing about society is that we don’t think GAY is or can be macho and it SO can be. There is undoubtedly something about a SAME-SEX-PRONE individual that gives off certain signals, be it a building contractor, construction worker, or a mechanic. This group of men hide so well from the rest of the world, but not from those that know their scent, those that know their hidden language; those that know their deepest desires. WE can sense ALL proving that it truly takes one to know one. Are there professional business men that are very much HOMOSEXUALLY INCLINE? YES! However it  isn't only the bankers, lawyers or doctors. Homosexuals are in all areas of the globe and we know who they are. You will find gay and lesbians everywhere - on the basketball team, at the mall, in sports bars etc. So please don’t just think that we are just do FASHION or HAIR. Don’t forget to check the ‘IMAGE-CONSCIOUS’ ‘STRAIGHT’ men, They work out at the gym, and check out the ladies that work because it’s expected; but please pay attention to what he says, for he is just talking about the idea of a woman and not the woman herself. SO PLEASE TAKE IT FROM ME, SPIRIT KNOWS SPIRIT & THE SOONER THE WORLD LEARNS AND ACCEPT THAT ALL WILL BE RIGHT AS RAIN. It will serve them right to know that if I or any other HOMOSEXUAL call another out, it isn't done haphazardly or because we are trying to increase OUR numbers; it’s because we truly know and that’s something WE can’t help even if we tried.

Thursday 19 April 2007

POSITIVE FOOTPRINTS

Physical space acts like a sponge, absorbing the radiant of all who pass through it. And, more likely than not, the spaces we move through each day have seen many people come and go. We have no way of knowing whether the energy footprints left behind by those who preceded us will invigorate us or drain us. Yet we can control the energy footprint we leave behind for others. In blessing each space we enter, we orchestrate a subtle energy shift that affects not only our own experiences in that space but also the experiences of the individuals who will enter the space after us. While we may never see the effects our blessing has had, we can take comfort in the fact that we have provided grace for those that follow after us. When you bless a room or an entire building, you leave a powerful message of love and light for all those who will come after you. Your blessings thus have myriad effects on the environments through which you pass. Old, stagnant energy is cleared, creating a vacuum into which fresh and invigorating energy can freely flow. The space is thus rendered harmonious and nourishing, and it becomes a hub from which positive feelings are transmitted. Intent is the key component of the blessings you leave in your physical wake. If your intent involves using your own consciousness as a tool for selflessly spreading grace, your blessings will never go awry. Whether you feel more comfortable performing a solo blessing or prefer to call upon your spirit guides for assistance, visualize each space you enter becoming free of toxins, chaos, and negativity as you speak your blessing. Then imagine the resultant emptiness being replaced by pure, healing white light and loving energy. Even a quick mindful thought of love can bless a space. This type of blessing is cumulative and will grow each time you bestow it. Try blessing every home, business, and office you visit for an entire week and observing the effects of your goodwill. Your affirmative energy footprint will help brighten your day as you contemplate your blessing's future impact on your siblings in humanity and your environment.

Wednesday 18 April 2007

REDEFINING YOUR PRIORITIES

Procrastination is an almost universal human habit and one that infiltrates nearly every aspect of our lives. Modern existence is so complex, and much of what we long to do is left to wait by the side. We know what is important but tend to let the weight of worldly pressures lead us astray. To get back on track, however, we need only take a moment to consider where our thoughts will be as we take our last breath on this earth. More likely than not, at that instant, disagreements, bills, petty annoyances, and other frustrating elements of our lives will no longer seem as significant as they once did. Thoughts of loved ones and the positive impact we had on the world would no doubt occupy our remaining thoughts. Whatever we imagine ourselves musing upon during our last breath will almost always be representative of what truly matters to us. This simple exercise introduces us to a new way of thinking. While our attention is drawn momentarily to the end of life, our contemplations serve to point out that we are masters of our own perspective and, consequently, our own existence. There is nothing preventing us from shifting our focus right now as we imagine we will in our final moments. We can choose to spend more of our time and energy on what gives our lives meaning. We can spend more time with loved ones and do more of what we enjoy. Doing so may not always prove easy, and there will inevitably be times when circumstances interfere with our resolution, yet we do not have to regard this as an indication that our priorities are not in alignment with who we really are. Sometimes the only way we can see the beauty of life is to remind ourselves that it is finite. Gandhi said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow." His words are a potent reminder that living life more fully is not about pushing ourselves harder or shouldering more burdens, but about experiencing all the wonderful richness life has to offer.

Tuesday 17 April 2007

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship
-=-=-=-=-=-= -
Friendship needs no studied phrases,
Polished face, or winning wiles;
Friendship deals no lavish praises,
Friendship dons no surface smiles.
Friendship follows nature's diction,
Shuns the blandishments of art,
Boldly severs truth from fiction,
Speaks the language of the heart.
Friendship favors no condition,
Scorns a narrow-minded creed,
Lovingly fulfills its mission,
Be it word or be it deed.
Friendship cheers the faint and weary,
Makes the timid spirit brave,
Warns the erring, lights the dreary,
Smooths the passage to the grave.
Friendship-pure, unselfish friendship,
All through life's allotted span,
Nurtures, strengthens, widens, lengthens,
Man's relationship with man.

Monday 16 April 2007

'THE "STRAIGHT" FAÇADE'

Have you ever met or seen a MAN that’s GAY and he is pretending that he isn’t? Have you ever met or seen a MAN that’s GAY and he has some WOMAN draped on his arm like some piece of jewelry? Have you noticed how a WOMAN’S intuition goes out of window as she sits and pretends she doesn’t know or she feels that he has changed his sexuality? I wonder what makes her put on that mask and play her role in this charade? When I thought about scenario, I wanted to go beyond the FAÇADE & BENEATH THE BULLSHIT! My issue here isn’t whether this MAN has F&CKED other MEN, my real issue is can he TRULY have a COMMITTED & MONOGAMOUS relationship? How long before he’s backed into a corner and the ‘HUNGRY WOLF’ of ‘HOMOSEXUALITY’ corners, ready to devour him? How does he deny something so innate within him, something that he was born with? How long before he gets married to this WOMAN and F&CKS some random or not so random MAN? Well this sort of ‘LIFE-STYLE’ these MEN are so dangerously selfish that the MAN they are enjoying ‘ANAL ORGASMS’ with are the ones that stand in the wedding, they are the GOD FATHERS and UNCLE so and so. These MEN have the crazy notion that WOMEN are for RELATIONSHIPS; MEN ARE FOR SEX…But ask him if he is gay or bisexual, and he quickly answers no. For in his F&CKED UP mind ‘GAY MEN DON’T LIKE WOMEN.’ How can a man have sex with other men and call himself straight? Part of this is semantics. Words like ‘GAY & ‘BISEXUAL’ conjure up images of ‘SWISHY MEN’ wearing pink triangles on their chests. What's more, they feel that such labels rob them of their most valuable attribute, their MASCULINITY! I can’t say that I really blame them, for many if not all of us were brought up to believe sexuality could be defined simply, with gay on one end and straight on the other. But the bottom line is that sexuality is fluid and we can’t simply put people into little cubicles; it doesn’t work that way. So is it any wonder these MEN live the way they do? Find some MAN for a quick F&CK and have the PERFECT WOMAN waiting in the wings; while suppressing their craving for that long-term male emotional and intellectual connection. In a freer world, these MEN might be openly gay; and some might call themselves bisexual. But shame and stigma lead them to carry on elaborate double lives and the next morning their underwear is on the floor, and they just get up and put it back on, as if nothing has happened. TALK ABOUT MIND OVER MANHOOD, how can a MAN be MAN enough to F&CK another and not deal with the real feelings that come with it? So WOMEN I say ‘DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS!’ For this land firmly on your doorstep; you meet a find MAN who LOVES you to DEATH, so he couldn’t be GAY. Please don’t let your denial get in the way of your intuition for in the end you will feel stupid for thinking that you are what he needs to change HIS sexuality. When you see that truck headed towards you and it will, get out of its way. Value yourself, pay attention, especially to your very own intuition. If your spirit leads you to form a question, ask it. Remember these MEN are not EVIL SEXUAL PREDATORS; they're just mired in STIGMA and DENIAL. And it’s up to ALL of US to make situations better by working to make OUR community and OUR heart open and accepting.

Sunday 15 April 2007

KEEPING UP APPEARANCES

Have you ever met or know of anyone that lives above their means? I am sure you have seen or know of persons that places high importance on getting the latest or the best that life has to offer even though they know very well they can’t afford or maintain it. I know that in this life we all want to eat the best, wear the best and get best; but seriously at what cause? Is worth it to say you are living in place that cost more than half of your monthly salary to maintain? When one does this, you place a certain unnecessary thing upon yourself because no one wants to live in a place that is ‘HIGH-CLASS’ and don’t entertain. So what does one do? I will tell you, you buy the most expensive food and drink to go along with the place that you live in. You make sure you have the latest threads because if it isn’t name brand then you don’t have garments that are worth covering your naked body. Funny how this makes me wonder, ‘WHY GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS JUST TO IMPRESS THE WORLD?’ How does this make you a better person? This kind of behavior only lends itself to short-term happiness and gives the illusion that life is great and things cannot be any better. I love how pretend that your life is still fabulous when the credit card is over the limit and bank payments that are due. Tell me, how then how can you fix or meet those requirements that you’ve set up for yourself? This sort of life-style in my opinion forces one to steal and do unsavory things to keep with such a way of living. Persons get ‘THE STICKY FINGERS’ syndrome and earn a reputation that is very hard to shake off. All for what, why is so important for persons to say, ‘WOW YOU HAVE A NICE HOME, CAR, CLOTHES AND YOUR SEEMS GREAT?’ Why do we want to be measured by what we have instead of what we do for the world at large? How one ‘APPEARING’ to have it all makes his/her life better? So this means you are only worth what you drive, eat, wear and live? Shouldn’t life be more than that? How and why do you sell yourself short? On your death bed, what do you want to remember about your life? Will the things you desire mean anything to you in the next few months? Remember clothing and articles alike go out of season and as life changes, how hard is it for you to keep up? Are that afraid of being passed by that you decide that you have to be in rather than out? What consolation prize do you receive for ‘KEEPING UP APPEARANCES?’ this topic was brought on by someone I know, someone I am very close to and though it’s not entirely about that person; this is something that needed to talked about. So the next time you are tempted to swipe that card or ‘BORROW’ money that doesn’t belong to you; remember that there is a price to pay for this lifestyle…PLEASE DON’T’ DARE YOURSELF TO FIND OUT!

Saturday 14 April 2007

THE WASTED ME...

Man doesn’t know what he has in me and I sometimes feel as if my life is in vain. It’s hard to have all of ME and no one to give ME to, it’s crazy and sometimes I just wonder if this is meant to be my fate? They tell me that a smooth road never makes a good driver and a smooth sea never make a good sailor. I have to live with the fact that a problem free life never makes a strong person and all I can do is be strong and waste away. I am courageous, I face life head on even with fear and here I am still. They call me fake and say that I am a pretender, funny how I know that can only come from persons that I am wasted on. Even the persons that call me sexy can’t appreciate what I stand for and my place in this world. Hence I am sometimes call a ‘HOT HEAD’ and ‘CRAZY’, pity if one only knew why those things exist about me and character they would really be speechless. But I hope that they read this take this in, learn how you call me an ‘ASS’ because I would die for mankind, pretend as if you didn’t know that I am STEADFAST and HUNGRY for everyone in this world to have peace in their souls. No matter what is said about me, I know I am sweet and can be the biggest ‘UBER-B!TCH’ on the planet and that is because I am in no way ‘SELF CENTERED’. I am ‘PASSIONATE’ and ‘UNIQUE’ and please don’t take my ‘LOOKS’, ‘CHARACTER’ and ‘INTELLIGENCE’ as to who I am or what I am about; take a look at this man’s soul and you can’t deny that I am wasted on you because you are not ready for what I seek, you are not close to the source…NO WONDER I AM WASTED ON YOU!

Friday 13 April 2007

ALL OR NOTHING!

See, it’s like this:
I’m the kind of person who is consumed by the heart
and I never burn out because of it.
In a way my heart is in overdrive because it knows what it wants
and won’t allow me to settle for a little bit of LOVE here and there.
There is no earthly way MAN can connect with
unless HE gives me HEART, BODY AND SOUL!
So as the whole worlds unfold, shadows and darkness descend
And you slip into the dark night,
Directed to nowhere special.
I DARE YOU TO SEEK THE LIGHT!
I am here waiting, sitting
@ the right hand of GOD
And I seeking the LOVE he promised me
Long before I came.
But the crazy thing is that
I know that this might seem like I am smug
or basking in my own self-important.
But the fact is that I want ALL of YOU
and I am sorry I can’t turn back now.
I have come to realize
that the path away from MARTYRDOM is a slippery slope
and I am going to stick to the trail.
ISN’T IT A MYSTERY HOW LIFE CAN BE SO CRUEL,
TAKING AWAY OUR SOULS
& WE DO NOTHING
BUT PLAY OUR PART IN THIS EVERLASTING CHARADE?
So how then do I accept you?
How can I in this lifetime accept sub-par
When I know I am destined for more?
So don’t tell me you LOVE me
Because if you don’t’ mean it
I will see the words as they trip over your lips
And fall to the floor.
Don’t tell me you want to make me happy
When you are not
Because all you are doing is tearing yourself up.
That will go in one ear
And out the other
And fall to floor
Where I stamp and kill it.
GIVE THIS B!TCH ALL OR NOTHING!
Stop treating my heart like a like an old bill
Being passed through a paper shredder.
STOP trying to shred the very essence of my soul.
STOP trying to puncture my insides with your dull knife.
You are full of empty actions and feelings
And I will not be vulnerable to the elements because of you
And I refuse to leave myself on the floor
Waiting for the janitor to clean me up.
He will not treat me like I don’t matter
…All I am ever given is
Disappointment
Misery
And
Guilt
Give me all or nothing
Do you understand me?
Or are they just meaningless words?
© tgk

Thursday 12 April 2007

'THE "HIDDEN" TRUTH'

WE ARE THE STUDENTS, THE DISCIPLES AND THEY ARE THE WISE MASTERS…THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND KNOWS WHAT IS BEST! WE have to accept what WE are being taught. What WE are being taught to believe is what is told and believe without question. I CALL THIS ‘THE “HIDDEN” TRUTH’ When the truth is hidden from view what seems normal is accepted in its place. When we can’t see it for ourselves; people in authority and others that we trust fill in the blanks for us. We get used to it, and it becomes "RIGHT" for us. And then we believe we did see it when we really didn’t. ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS THE CHURCH AND GOVERNMENT are chiefly responsible for automatically organizing and triggering this process. They manufacture world-views and build entire cultures thru these manipulative perspectives. In the end we are handed a delusional realm to focus on while we go through our daily lives meeting the demands set by these oppressors. Oppressors that steals 95% of our LIVES, feeds our SOUL garbage that makes us sick; feeds our mind lies to keep the perception cloak in place, makes us too busy to ponder and question. They want us to continue to fall for the mind control while having no regard for killing us. As long as we are kept busy and we cooperate fully we may be allowed to live a bit longer, but for the most part we are most useful if we are gullible. Funny how that works: LIFE…YOU LIVE THEN YOU DIE! And somewhere in between you hope you had a good time, you hope that you’d @ least enjoyed the ride…Pity how that didn’t happen, you never came close…NOT EVEN…Then the beauty of it all is that while waiting to die we are slaughtered by life that is cloaked as something else, like cancer, heart failure or old age. Makes me wonder if on our death beds we lay there pondering how sad it is that our minds are accustomed to thinking in terms of forced control hierarchies in all that we do. How sad that only during that time we understand how silly it was to believe that in order to make something useful that we believe in had to be controlled through force. I call this a ‘POISON THOUGHT’ this element is in our legal system, our homes and virtually everywhere that human thought created something we interact with. It would be nice to get some ‘FREETHINKING’ individuals who actually have world’s best interest @ heart. These individuals go against ‘THE “HIDDEN” TRUTH’ and appeal to the human need to be treated in a human fashion. Since humanity has evolved around the Tree of Knowledge and our success as a species is tied to our ability to plug into society, our need to be an upstanding member is hard wired into our brains. ‘THE “HIDDEN” TRUTH’ forces us to live more like bees and a bee is nothing without the hive. It dies when separated from the hive. Please tell me who wants that? We want to accomplish great things and rise in social position; that pretends to give us respect, power and authority. ‘THE “HIDDEN” TRUTH’ is very powerful because when it gets you there are no visible signs of its existence. It starts you off by charming you, telling you that you are a very special person. You are one of the good persons who are in a desperate battle with the forces of evil that are taking over the universe. It takes over your mind; body and soul by making you feel as if your decision and your decision alone will tip the point for the triumph of Good over Evil. So what is your ‘TRUTH’ and how can make sure you are living it and not someone else’s?

Wednesday 11 April 2007

"VILLAGE IDI-ASSES"

“A GLOBAL VILLAGE WILL HAVE ITS VILLAGE IDI-ASSES”

To speak something is to believe it....to believe something is to emphatically stand behind it....to emphatically stand behind something is to think something. And to think something without an explanation, has no merit in my book. Well well well it’s that time again; the time when our country comes to live and amidst the buzz and frenzy we totally forget what our SOLE purpose is @ this time in our country. This time comes around every five years and we get to decide who is best to control and run our country. With that said, we have the only two parties that have enough power and presence to take on that job; and they are the present government the PROGRESSIVE LIBERAL PARTY (PLP) and the opposition the FREE NATIONAL MOVEMENT (FNM). Personally, I believe this country is ready for a change. A change from traditional thought patterns...A change from the "old regime." A change from a party that’s not PROGRESSIVE or LIBERAL. I believe that this change will forge "a different "look" and a different "point of view" that will force this country to change the way it thinks and believes on many issues. SO SOUND THE ALARM…THE BEAST IS LOOSE...IT AIN’T LONG NOW and our country will finally get a MAN…a LEADER! This country deserves to have someone that can take a stand on the issues facing it and make decisions and maintain the confidence of the Bahamian people, cementing their belief in his abilities. At this point I admit it’s hard for me to express my feelings about who should run our country without coming off as a HUGE FNM supporter but I feel that this party has taken the Bahamas in a direction that only they could, this party gave HOPE and PROSPERITY to all Bahamians. This party in my opinion proved exactly who this country belonged to and who has claim to its resources. I like many other persons in this country grew up in the PROGRESSIVE LIBERAL PARTY era and I like many Bahamians believed their hype and fast talk to make our country better. But as time went on and I grew older and wiser, I came to see that maybe it isn’t such a harsh thing that the PLP lost their place as the party that ran this country to the (FNM). I find it amazing how we as a nation can be swayed by a MAN that appears to be charismatic and captivating. We took what this MAN as GOSPEL (LITERALLY) we decided that what he was selling was more important than what the country needed @ that time. Needless to say he has proven to ME and countless others that HE has no plan for this country, HE had no vision and that HE is a MAN that pretty much plays it by ear and reacts rather than anticipate. From year one we had scandals and eye brows were raised as we saw how HIS cabinet members blundered their jobs given to them and how much of challenged it presented. From the junkanoo bleachers, to the minister that claimed bankruptcy, to the other members that didn’t support their deputy leader who took over when their ‘leader’ was incapacitated. One would think that the issues stopped there but it didn’t and yet I can’t understand why persons still support such a party. I CALL THESE PERSONS, “VILLAGE IDI-ASSES” for they support the present government; they in their infinite wisdom are DIE HARD PLP’s. Well not that there is something wrong with that, I just don’t know how anyone can support a party that did nothing for 5 years and don’t have a problem with that. Persons would say ‘there is the urban renewal project’ well a member of the party said that is a ‘WORK IN PROGRESS.’ Now I am thinking good because I grew up in the ghetto and I don’t see a change due to this so call project. The PLP has proven that they are unable to deal with the issues facing the nation and the multitude of problems they have brought upon themselves and the country. After five years we are all in serious danger and are paying the price because of a lack of vision, poor planning by a hopeless Prime Minister and his helpless team. I can only wonder why they given such task? I can only hope that the ‘VILLAGE IDI-ASSES’ don’t repeat what they did last election; they have to know that the PLP is confused and don’t know their ASS from their ASS. What Bahamians lack today is a Government that wants a better bahamas. But soon and very soon the Bahamian people will have the opportunity to vote for a Government that has an effective programme for the empowerment of Bahamians a Government that wants to develop the country and create a better Bahamas for ALL!

Tuesday 10 April 2007

'THE "HYBRID" BRAIN'

AS A ‘HOMOSEXUAL’ MAN I JUST THINK NOT TO THINK, BUT THE THOUGHT ITSELF GETS SO OCCUPYING THAT IT KEEPS ME THINKING ALL THE TIME...sounds like a confusing thought huh? Well if you are a SGLM then you would understand what I mean. You would know that I am referring to the one body part that mystifies mankind, the organ that no one knows everything about. I am talking about the brain and not just any brain, I referring to the brain of a HOMOSEXUAL, but this isn’t just any ordinary brain; this is ‘THE “HYBRID” BRAIN.’ As I have mentioned before we HOMOSEXUALS are a special breed, we are unlike any other and regardless of what others think of us; there is no denying that most if not all of us have to do a lot of SOUL SEARCHING. The COMING-OUT process is such an emotional and psychological wringer that one has to elevate to a higher level of thought process enabling us to tap into certain parts of the brain that others don’t seem to have access to. That part of the brain is called the anterior commeasure, that's bigger in a gay's brains than in those of heterosexuals. A homosexual’s brain has more connections between the opposite emotional centers than other brains. My guess is that it’s important in seeing potential mates, and so, it’s the part that knows who you're attracted to, gay, straight, transsexual, bisexual or whatever. When we select another person of the same gender as the focus for sexual feelings, it gives us the same set of concerns and needs that the heterosexuals have. With GAY MEN, men become object of our affection giving all of our time and attention to this part of ourselves that become the object of identification, at least in some ways. How at the same time we ARE men and we still have to identify there, too. This is vice-versa for women as well. Because we both gay males and lesbians still possess our male and female brains, being gay makes our cognitive processes are more focused allowing us the advantage that heterosexuals don’t possess. This special intuition can only be hosted by persons that have ‘THE “HYBRID” BRAIN’ making our intuition a channeled voice. We, all other conditions being equal, was more able to go from a sense-that-something-is-wrong to seeing and describing a specific danger. We are better able to find ways to improve things, be more comfortable, and stay healthy. Hence most evolutionary biologists will agree that if a species preserves a trait, it’s because that trait helps that species survive, or at least did so when it first emerged. And we HOMOSEXUALS are the next chain in evolution and mankind needs us. How we not be appreciated for ‘OUR “HYBRID” BRAIN? Consider the stereotype about us – we are gourmets when eating, film critics when seeing movies, interior designers at home, and fashion and grooming experts in front of mirrors. Nothing but the best. Now, imagine that same trait 100,000 years ago, and add to it the caveat that people acted for their tribe as much as for themselves, there being little one could claim as one's own. Nothing but the best and most sheltered campsite. Nothing but the clearest water. Everyone should be clean and attractive (by whatever standard his nation held) - as much as possible. With ‘OUR “HYBRID” BRAIN’ we exhibit an extra emotional sensitivity that would encourage people to be nice to one another and further, freedom from many of the usual social obligations. I know I'm making many generalizations here, and many SGLP do not fit the stereotype, but my point is that the traits, though held by only a few, can benefit many. Nevertheless, due to ‘OUR “HYBRID” BRAIN’ I think that we were the first spiritual leaders. In that social position, we would have been free to expect that our words would be heard, we would have been able to exploit our cognitive skills to the maximum, and we would have been able to access many altered states of consciousness that would've been unavailable to others. We could lead people spirituality, soothed interpersonal conflicts, and help anticipate and avoid threats to their survival. Who knows? Perhaps our sexual preference is a by-product of a specific group of cognitive and emotional skills that helped us survive - skills that is expensive for us, but essential for the population as a whole.

Monday 09 April 2007

F&CK BOY!

I WANT TO F&CK YOU
LONG FAST AND HARD
MAKE YOU SCREAM
LIKE A B!TCH…
GIVE YOU SCARS!
I WANT YOU TO DIG YOUR NAILS
INTO MY BACK
LEAVE LONG RED TRAILS
WHILE MY D!CK CARRESS YOUR INSIDES
AS YOUR BODY IS COVERED IN MY SWEAT
I LOVE TO HEAR YOU BEGGING ME
NOT TO STOP
YOUR ASS IS SO WET
DAMN! I AM GOOD ON TOP...
NOW IT’S YOUR TURN
SWITCH ME PLACES
NOW YOU GET TO F&CK ME ON TOP
AND I GET TO WATCH ALL YOUR FACES
AS YOU RIDE MY D!CK WITH SHER PLEASURE
DOWN UP DOWN
I LOVE THE WAY YOUR BODY MOVES
AS I HIT EVERY PLACE
YOU LOVE HOW I SQUEEZE YOUR HIPS
AND I USE YOUR SIDES AS A GRIP
SO I CAN PREPARE
I LET OUT A MOAN
AS I GO EVEN DEEPER INSIDE
YOU CONTINUE TO GROAN
AS FASTER AND FASTER I F&CK YOU
I SCREAM AND I F&CK HARDER
AS THIS SEX TURNS TO VIOLENCE
POUND AND POUND
AS I PEIRCE MY
D!CK INSIDE OF YOU
I LOVE HOW YOUR ASS
ANTISCIPATES MY EVERY MOVE
SIDE TO SIDE
LEAVING NO PARTS OF YOU UNTOUCH
MAKING YOU CLIMAX THE SAME TIME
THAT I DO
I WANT YOU TO CUM ON MY CHEST
I WANT TO FEEL YOU ALL OVER ME
DAMN F&CK BOY!
YOU ARE A DELIGHT TO TASTE AND SEE…
© tgk

Sunday 08 April 2007

Saturday 07 April 2007

Friday 06 April 2007

GOOD FRIDAY

(¿CDÓNDE USTED ALLÍ CUANDO CRUCIFICARON A SEÑOR?)

Thursday 05 April 2007

MAUNDY THURSDAY

(JESUS THE KING)
(THE LAST SUPPER)
(JESUS GETTING HIS FEET WET)

(JESUS THE ACCUSED)

(JESUS ARRESTED)

Wednesday 04 April 2007

A REAL MAN...

...Because, the person who broke my heart
Or should I say strengthened my heart
Because he was a diluted version of a MAN.
It's so funny when I think about it
Because every indication that he didn't love me was right in my face.
I don't think that the fact of him not reciprocating love was the problem,
It’s the fact that he made me think I was crazy for thinking that he didn't.
Material things can't substitute genuine affection
And I needed that (genuine affection) in my life.
It's as though we went through the motions
Because we were so comfortable with each other;
Then things got taken for granted.
Long nights sitting up waiting to hear a key in the door of my heart
Acting like everything’s okay in the morning
While scrambling eggs and holding back my tears and biting my lip.
I think that I have lost my faith in monogamy...
It doesn't matter how good something is;
There I am, just waiting for the bottom to fall out.
I want to believe that things will be different
But there isn't a clear indication that hope is alive.
Don't think that I don't want love...
Sometimes it gets lost in translation
And I want something more manageable.
Something that I tend to do is become a lover before friends.
I want something real.
I want someone to want me just as much as I want them.
When you're gone I want to miss your touch,
Your scent,
The sound of your voice.
I don't think that's asking too much.
© tgk

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